Blue.Cake Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 I broke up with my ex girlfriend some time ago but she she often messaged me telling me that she missing me and crying herself in her pillow thinking about me so I try to contact her about it but she doesn't reply, then she carries on doing it. I guess I was stupid and fell for her breadcrumbs I finally was letting go at Christmas then soon as it hits January she contacts me on Facebook, at first I was gonna not respond but I responded. She didn't message back... I logged back into Facebook after a week checked my messages saw she didn't give me any but I hovered over her and saw she changed her Facebook cover, It's public, It's her having her picture taken with a guy. I see her messages on there It's like she wanted me to see it. Message me over Facebook since a long time and I dunno soon as I saw it with her flirty messages to him and thanking him my heart started burning. My chest burns. I'm angry at myself for falling for those breadcrumbs. I blocked her soon as I composed myself. Didn't reply, just blocked. Can't believe I stupid enough to let myself get burnt like this:mad: Advice what to do from here? Chest burning like hell
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 Learn from it. Don't fall for it again. Keep up the NC. 1
DarkHorizon Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 It burns, yes, and it will burn for some time. There is no quick remedy for it. I am sorry you got hurt this way, but yes, breadcrumbs are like paper cuts on an open wound. Nice picture isn't it? Ouch. Distract yourself. Hang out with people you trust. Read these boards. Help others. Cry. You need to let it heal. You need a scar.
Wewon Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 Advice what to do from here? Chest burning like hell See a doctor quick! That sounds serious! Seriously, Learn from this lesson and move on. At least you didn't give her the satisfaction of a response.
smudge21 Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 I've felt that pain. Nothing worse than having the sudden elation that they want us back, but then you find out it was all just about having their ego stroked one final time. You regret reaching out and letting them in, and so wish that you'd been stronger and held back. Left with your head held high... but guess what, it's fine. Don't sweat it or let it beat you up. We all do stupid crazy things at this stage and we all make the same mistakes. Don't like in the past thinking about this or regretting it, wishing you hadn't done it as you can't change it now. Learn from it instead. Remember how you feel. Remember how she has now made you feel. It will make you stronger and help you move on. Seeing an ex in their true colours always helps as often it's hard to imagine them as anything but perfect, but stuff like this just helps us remember why we're lucky to be rid of these people. Yeah, you won't feel that now, not for a while, but you will one day. 2
Brando Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 I broke up with my ex girlfriend some time ago but she she often messaged me telling me that she missing me and crying herself in her pillow thinking about me so I try to contact her about it but she doesn't reply, then she carries on doing it. I guess I was stupid and fell for her breadcrumbs I finally was letting go at Christmas then soon as it hits January she contacts me on Facebook, at first I was gonna not respond but I responded. She didn't message back... I logged back into Facebook after a week checked my messages saw she didn't give me any but I hovered over her and saw she changed her Facebook cover, It's public, It's her having her picture taken with a guy. I see her messages on there It's like she wanted me to see it. Message me over Facebook since a long time and I dunno soon as I saw it with her flirty messages to him and thanking him my heart started burning. My chest burns. I'm angry at myself for falling for those breadcrumbs. I blocked her soon as I composed myself. Didn't reply, just blocked. Can't believe I stupid enough to let myself get burnt like this:mad: Advice what to do from here? Chest burning like hell Get off that girls facebook!! Block everyone and everybody that might in some way cause you to see an image of her. You rather do that or keep looking and then finally one day you will just be so sick of hurting yourself you will stop on your own. Not very fun. We all know how you're feeling. You have to be motivated to move on and heal. Keep posting bud. That chest burning is awful. I know how it feels. Read up on the science of a "broken heart" it helped me and I've seen some smart people on here suggest it often. Block her stuff and heal yourself. Next one will be much better!! (oops...I read again and saw that you blocked her.....good job!)
Been Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 You left the door open by not cutting her off completely-you must block every form of communication.
CDJ Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 Since being on this forum I've seen a lot of acronyms and jargon, and had no idea what they meant! 'Breadcrumbs' was one of them, but reading this post I now understand what it means. I also realise that I too was a victim of them; being told I was still 'loved' and 'missed', invited round to her flat, only to find her with someone. The OP and the responses have helped me to understand more about it - the motives my ex might have had, and why I feel so ****ty about it all - so, thank you! As for that chest-burning thing; I know exactly how you feel. It's so weird; almost literally like your heart is breaking. Just to reiterate what others have said, that pain will fade over time. You're dealing with it all the right way; make sure to maintain NC and resist the lure of social media. 3
nauticalpoem Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 Unfortunately at the bottom of this she sounds pretty immature. I am sure she's a great girl and I am sorry you were hurt. But her actions (overly emotional and hurting you again) show that she has some growing to do. We all go through that point. Be mad and sad, then forgive her (for your own sanity - not hers). 1
Author Blue.Cake Posted February 5, 2016 Author Posted February 5, 2016 Thank you all for the replies, means a lot I fell for them (her breadcrumbs) but It's too late to change that I know now all I can do is start from today, what I did or didn't do doesn't matter, what matters is what I do from this moment. Focus on my own self improvement. She walked out that door and now I'm closing it. 1
louxor Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 what I did or didn't do doesn't matter, what matters is what I do from this moment. Focus on my own self improvement. She walked out that door and now I'm closing it. Spot on! And just a little bit of helpful (hopefully ) motivation from my personal experience - The longer you stick to it and the longer you keep that door shut, the easier it is to forget what is behind it and begin to walk the journey to opening the new ones! 2
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