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Men: How do you feel about dating younger?


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Posted

If he's the one you want, go for it.

Posted (edited)

OP, There is a consolidated thread on age gap dating that covers a lot of what you are asking.

 

What ARE you looking for, BTW, when dating. Casual fun? A relationship? Something leading to marriage at some point?

 

Age differences don't matter if something long term isn't your goal... However, lots of people....men and women... Get attached to people they have sex with, regardless of the wisdom of how they'd work out down the road.... Then have regrets later.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Non productive portion removed ~ V
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Posted (edited)
OP, There is a consolidated thread on age gap dating that covers a lot of what you are asking.

 

What ARE you looking for, BTW, when dating. Casual fun? A relationship? Something leading to marriage at some point?

 

Age differences don't matter if something long term isn't your goal... However, lots of people....men and women... Get attached to people they have sex with, regardless of the wisdom of how they'd work out down the road.... Then have regrets later.

 

I'm looking for something serious. I've always been mature for my age, and I'm at the point in my life where I want to find something serious with someone that is ready to settle down in the near future (2-3 years). I've always gravitated to older people when it comes to friends (mid to late 20's) because I just feel like I have more in common when it comes to my goals than I do with someone my own age.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited for previous quoted text ~ V
Posted

IMO, important point: If you're looking for something serious, what's your style of engagement? Do you naturally seek and prefer a man who's assertive and proactive in approaching and expressing his interest? More egalitarian? I mention this because such styles run throughout the relationship process. Some people are more naturally assertive or neutral or passive. Some styles mesh and others don't. As example, it's extremely difficult to get two shy people on the same romance page because no one will make a move off neutral and romance is about dancing and leading and following and sharing. That requires action.

 

Is this guy completely unknown to you or is he part of your wider social circle?

 

Since you apparently connect well with older people in general, IMO the age thing should be a non-issue. Your living at home while in nursing school similar. IMO, I'd focus in on the interactions and whether they work for you. How he feels is unknown until he expresses himself in that regard. Keep showing up until you or he feels different.

Posted

7 years isn't a huge gap, and will become less meaningful with time if you have a long term relationship. At this age, it seems more significant, of course - but later, it won't matter.

Posted

I'm 38, and I'd consider dating you :p After the 2nd date I might discover we have nothing in common and you drive me freaking crazy, but maybe we'd hit it off.

 

Anyways, 27 and 20 is definitely doable. Only one way to find out.

Posted
It might have had you done what the OP's guy did ....and actually talked to her, asked to exchange numbers. :p

 

I will go sit in a corner and cry :(

Posted
You are in a similar situation? If you are, and you are really interested in this other person...just do it. I finally realized that I was sending this man mixed signals and that he probably wouldn't make a move because he wasn't sure if I was into him or not. So sometimes, you just have to take a chance. What would you have to lose?

I initiated the whole like getting together outside of the gym, and I literally told myself in my head "it's only 20 seconds of courage."

Ask her, or you will regret not ever knowing. What if she ends up being someone amazing in your life? But you wont know unless you try. Which is exactly what I thought.

 

I kinda did something about it. I spoke to her friend. I told the friend I liked her. Now I'm waiting. Whole place knows, too. Right now, not looking good...

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Posted
I kinda did something about it. I spoke to her friend. I told the friend I liked her. Now I'm waiting. Whole place knows, too. Right now, not looking good...

 

 

So next time you see her, go and say something to her! I'm telling you from a woman's perspective...

To me anyway, men get points if they go out of their way to talk to me.

 

You don't want to regret it. All it takes is 20 seconds to say something. And if she is totally not into it...Who cares? You tell yourself that it doesn't matter, even if it does, and you go on with it.

 

For me, I felt like I was more afraid of regretting taking the chance than actually doing it.

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Posted

Thanks OP. You just identified your style. Since you've identified the man as shy based on an assessment by a friend and your own apparent agreement about that, my instinct is, unless his attraction is substantial, his style will win out and this will be a miss. In the end, if it is a miss, the age difference will end up being relatively inconsequential in that result.

Posted

All, let's please stick to the topic the OP has requested opinions on. As noted, the OP asked for feedback from men, "Men: How do you feel about dating younger?".

 

Thank you, please continue posting.

 

~ V

Posted

I'm not really a fan of age gaps larger than 5 years myself but a lot of guys will jump at the chance to get a girl 7 years their junior.

 

I wouldn't outright turn down a fairly younger girl but my preference is someone closer to my age. My girl now is 4 years younger than me and it suits me fine.

 

If he's into you, the age difference won't matter.

Posted
So next time you see her, go and say something to her! I'm telling you from a woman's perspective...

To me anyway, men get points if they go out of their way to talk to me.

 

You don't want to regret it. All it takes is 20 seconds to say something. And if she is totally not into it...Who cares? You tell yourself that it doesn't matter, even if it does, and you go on with it.

 

For me, I felt like I was more afraid of regretting taking the chance than actually doing it.

 

I'd like to but now that her friend told her I'm into her, not so sure I should say anything.

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Posted
I'd like to but now that her friend told her I'm into her, not so sure I should say anything.

 

Well i'm pretty positive my friend that was being trained by this guy in my situation told him he knew someone that was interested in him. And it was pretty obvious it was me. And I still said something...I felt like because he knew it was a good possibility it was me that was interested, it would have been weird for me not to say anything about it.

Posted

Most men won't care. (As long as you're legal)

But a guy might use it as an excuse to reject you if he's not interested.

Posted
Well i'm pretty positive my friend that was being trained by this guy in my situation told him he knew someone that was interested in him. And it was pretty obvious it was me. And I still said something...I felt like because he knew it was a good possibility it was me that was interested, it would have been weird for me not to say anything about it.

 

It's been a week since I spoke to her friend. I haven't heard anything so I'm not sure if they're playing it cool or silence means no interest. I'm hoping for the friend to introduce us.

Posted
My hubby is 6 years younger than me ;) he just turned twenty when we started dating 26 years ago. hah how about them apples.
Has he cheated that you know of?
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