hhastings17 Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 I recently met a guy at the gym and after many times of seeing each other and having conversations, we finally are meeting up outside of the gym for dinner. We seem to really have a lot in common, and he seems pretty interested in me. My only concern is that he is 27, and I am 20. I've always been very mature for my age, and I don't see our age difference as a problem but i'm afraid he might. I'm concerned because I still live at home. Not because I want to, but I'm in nursing school and I can't work enough to afford my own place at the moment. So what do you guys think? Would you have a problem with it if you were him?
yxalitis Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 That's nothing... I'm 49, the last 5 woman I've dated have been: 24 40 38 35 36 The only issues isn't the age GAP, but simply her AGE...she's young!
carhill Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 There was a time when that was very common, the young men would go out in the world and establish themselves then seek out and marry a young bride to be the mother of their children. It went out of style, generally, around the time of the sexual revolution, civil rights and early feminism in the early 60's. Most of the parents I knew as a child had marriages where the man was 6-10 years older and the woman was 17-20 when she got married. My mom had seven sisters and she ended up being, by far, the oldest to get married at 31. All the rest were married by age 20 and their husbands were 5-10 years older. Times have changed. More people go into college and non-labor jobs than in the past and delay marriage and tend to look to peers for romantic relationships. Most of the recent marriages of children or grandchildren of friends the couples have only been a year or two apart, or the same age. Very little age difference. As far as your situation, if you enjoy the man, keep showing up. Either it works or it doesn't. Men, in general, aren't too concerned about logistics as long as they enjoy your company. While I might enjoy my friend's granddaughters thoroughly, some being your age or a bit older, I'd never consider them as peers for dating. For a guy in his late 20's, sure, no problem. IMO, have a good time. 2
Grumpybutfun Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 My little beauty is five years younger....she calls me old man. Seven years does not seem excessive to me. Best, Grumps
smackie9 Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 My hubby is 6 years younger than me he just turned twenty when we started dating 26 years ago. hah how about them apples. 1
hasaquestion Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 I wouldn't exist if 15 years were a problem. So I say give it a shot! 1
katiegrl Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 I recently met a guy at the gym and after many times of seeing each other and having conversations, we finally are meeting up outside of the gym for dinner. We seem to really have a lot in common, and he seems pretty interested in me. My only concern is that he is 27, and I am 20. I've always been very mature for my age, and I don't see our age difference as a problem but i'm afraid he might. I'm concerned because I still live at home. Not because I want to, but I'm in nursing school and I can't work enough to afford my own place at the moment. So what do you guys think? Would you have a problem with it if you were him? I think emotionally you are about the same age, since, generally speaking, women mature faster than men. When I was 22, my boyfriend was 29. It didn't make any difference whatsoever. It's not like he's an "older" man at 27. You are both still very young -- enjoy!
Popsicle Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 That's not a big deal. (unless you feel it is)
normal person Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 For some people it might be fine, others not. When I was 27 I tried going out with a few girls in that age range. What I found was that the disparity in lifestyle was way too much for me to overlook. I went out with a girl who was 21, just out of college and was just so awestruck by stuff that was just commonplace to people my age, ex: that I had my own apartment in NYC (with my own bathroom, haha), disposable income, etc. I almost felt like she thought too much of me for stuff that I didn't think twice about it. She just couldn't over it all. It bothered me, she felt like a little sister after a while. Secondly, she was so young that she was still naive and idealistic. The world hadn't hardened her yet. She hadn't had any hardship or worthwhile life experiences. She thought "actress" was a viable career path. Sure, girls this age look great. But mentally, they aren't in the same stage of life as older guys and some like myself might not be able to get over it. 1
LostOnes05 Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 As long as she was alive around the time and can name the original Power Rangers...she's in my age bracket.
smudge21 Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 If you feel it's wrong, then it will be. If you however just accept that age is just a number, a collection of years, but really has very little affect on a persons maturity, intelligence, compassion, love, honesty, respect etc etc, then you'll be fine with it. I personally hate that "how old are you?" conversation. Most girls think I'm a lot younger, not just because of how I look but because of how I act - not silly or stupid, but just more fun and carefree. I've dated girls older and much much younger, some have gone well, some have gone terrible, but I wouldn't say the age factor was ever the issue. It can be if you make it one though.
ManyDissapoint Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 Seven year age gap is not that much. My ex was 22 and I was 30 when we got together. I think that's a perfect spread. It's not really anything to do with maturity but more with what men and women look for in each other. I think younger women are more socially adept and are more able to adopt the trappings of maturity, not necessary core values of it.
PegNosePete Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 Personally if I were 27, I would not date a 20 year old. But he is not me. Ask him, and you'll find out
iphone_user1 Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 Most of them are very idealistic and change their emotions real quick. Personally, I would just have fun, I mean I wouldn't get too attached.
truth_seeker Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 I recently met a guy at the gym and after many times of seeing each other and having conversations, we finally are meeting up outside of the gym for dinner. We seem to really have a lot in common, and he seems pretty interested in me. My only concern is that he is 27, and I am 20. I've always been very mature for my age, and I don't see our age difference as a problem but i'm afraid he might. I'm concerned because I still live at home. Not because I want to, but I'm in nursing school and I can't work enough to afford my own place at the moment. So what do you guys think? Would you have a problem with it if you were him? I'm jealous. Why can't you be the girl at my gym? If he's into you, you living at home won't matter at all.
truth_seeker Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 I recently met a guy at the gym and after many times of seeing each other and having conversations, we finally are meeting up outside of the gym for dinner. We seem to really have a lot in common, and he seems pretty interested in me. My only concern is that he is 27, and I am 20. I've always been very mature for my age, and I don't see our age difference as a problem but i'm afraid he might. I'm concerned because I still live at home. Not because I want to, but I'm in nursing school and I can't work enough to afford my own place at the moment. So what do you guys think? Would you have a problem with it if you were him? I'm curious: how did it start? Did he approach you? Did you approach him? Did you drop any hints for him to break the ice?
Author hhastings17 Posted February 4, 2016 Author Posted February 4, 2016 For a long time we would just make a lot of eye contact and smile at each other. I would notice he would be looking around the gym until he found me. I'm such a shy person when it comes to initiating things. One of my good friends is an acquaintance (he trains my close friend who is also a man) of his and told me that he is pretty shy about that too. I started asking him for help on workouts and we would start talking about other life things! I know I sent him mixed signals, but thats only because like i said, I'm shy when it comes to putting myself out there like that! Anyway. he started going out of his way to say hi to me and one day I was joking with him about how he got me sick and how he owes me and he asked to exchange numbers, and a few hours later we were planning a time to get together! i'm sorry for the length!
truth_seeker Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 I am very jealous. lol. I got my own situation and wish it could turn out like yours! I'm happy though you connected with him and are giving it a go.
truth_seeker Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 Wait a second, if I read you correctly, you know someone who works at the gym and this person knows the guy you like? He introduced you two?
Author hhastings17 Posted February 4, 2016 Author Posted February 4, 2016 The man i'm interested in trains a close friend of mine. The friend did not introduce us. My close friend mentioned him in conversation and I told him about how i've talked to him a few times and I was interested in getting to know him. My friend just told me that from what he could tell, the man is on the shyer side like me.
Redhead14 Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 I recently met a guy at the gym and after many times of seeing each other and having conversations, we finally are meeting up outside of the gym for dinner. We seem to really have a lot in common, and he seems pretty interested in me. My only concern is that he is 27, and I am 20. I've always been very mature for my age, and I don't see our age difference as a problem but i'm afraid he might. I'm concerned because I still live at home. Not because I want to, but I'm in nursing school and I can't work enough to afford my own place at the moment. So what do you guys think? Would you have a problem with it if you were him? That difference isn't such a big deal. The fact is that usually in this age bracket, the women are often a little more mature than the guys are anyway. In other words, in this bracket, the girl should date a little up in terms of age to be closer to them on an emotional level. Guys will hate that I've said this, but it's very often true. That changes a little as you move up in the age brackets. Beyond that though, it has a lot to do with interests and commonality. That being said though: a 90 year old wealthy guy who has a very young girlfriend have only one thing in common -- they both like money
truth_seeker Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 a 90 year old wealthy guy who has a very young girlfriend have only one thing in common -- they both like money Actually, the woman likes money, the old guy wants to see a young woman naked 1
truth_seeker Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 The man i'm interested in trains a close friend of mine. The friend did not introduce us. My close friend mentioned him in conversation and I told him about how i've talked to him a few times and I was interested in getting to know him. My friend just told me that from what he could tell, the man is on the shyer side like me. Oh, so he works at the gym. I know two trainers at my old gym who married their clients. Still your friend might have said something to the trainer about you having interest in him. I'm only mentioning this because, like I said, I'm somewhat in a similar boat but not at the talking stage. I'm not sure if she's shy or likes the attention.
katiegrl Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 I am very jealous. lol. I got my own situation and wish it could turn out like yours! I'm happy though you connected with him and are giving it a go. It might have had you done what the OP's guy did ....and actually talked to her, asked to exchange numbers.
Author hhastings17 Posted February 4, 2016 Author Posted February 4, 2016 Oh, so he works at the gym. I know two trainers at my old gym who married their clients. Still your friend might have said something to the trainer about you having interest in him. I'm only mentioning this because, like I said, I'm somewhat in a similar boat but not at the talking stage. I'm not sure if she's shy or likes the attention. You are in a similar situation? If you are, and you are really interested in this other person...just do it. I finally realized that I was sending this man mixed signals and that he probably wouldn't make a move because he wasn't sure if I was into him or not. So sometimes, you just have to take a chance. What would you have to lose? I initiated the whole like getting together outside of the gym, and I literally told myself in my head "it's only 20 seconds of courage." Ask her, or you will regret not ever knowing. What if she ends up being someone amazing in your life? But you wont know unless you try. Which is exactly what I thought.
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