Why does it mean when they say "We have nothing In Common" Hello its been 2 1/2 years

[immizunderstood]

Can somebody please explain to me what that means. I mean come on if we had nothing in common why would my boyfriend ask me to move together. I like MTV, he likes CNN. Every person has likes that are the same and likes that are different from one another. How much stuff can someone actually have in common.

[superfabulous]

and the relationship.

 

fix it up by actions and fun

kind words and thougthful things

do fun activities

 

talk to him, will he commit to making things more fun and interesting or should u go find a more interesting man to spend your time with....

 

be calm, keep it real and remember theres always tomorrow to give it one more shot!

[laRubiaBonita]

IMO~ saying this is mostly an excuse. That and possible selfishness. Does he compromise on things with you, as well as you both watching Mtv one night then CNN another?

[alphamale]

Originally posted by immizunderstood

Can somebody please explain to me what that means.

it means that he has met someone else that he wants to pursue a relationship with....sorry.

[immizunderstood]

Thanks for the input. I always thought that people like others because they bring out what they like thats different from themselves. Not everything thats the same. Right now I feel like "WHATEVER!"

[immizunderstood]

I don't watch MTV when he's home because it irritates him. He gets mad when I'm on the phone. He gets mad at the slightest thing. We do watch movies together from time to time. But mostly things have just changed to what he wants and when he wants. He's the type of person lets say for instance if you're talking to someone and he says something to you, you have to drop everything you're doing to attend to his needs. I see the light but it still amazes me.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by immizunderstood

He's the type of person lets say for instance if you're talking to someone and he says something to you, you have to drop everything you're doing to attend to his needs. I see the light but it still amazes me.

well IMMIZUNDERSTOD, if u cannot deal with it then go out and find a "nice guy" who has no backbone that you can walk all over. Then all will be OK.

[not_myself]

It is possible to 'grow' out of someone. When I was with my college boyfriend I was completely in love with him - how silly he would act, how much fun he was at parties, how dynamic and charming..

 

After about 2 years out of school though - and it was painfully obvious that I had developed into a somewhat more mature person and he - well, he was just the same. And all the things I used to love about him when I was 21 became childish and annoying to me. I broke it off for good when I went to Grad school - never had any regrets.

 

If you have an age difference - and resulting maturity level difference - there will be problems. Wouldn't you like to be with someone who would watch MTV with you? and like it?

[immizunderstood]

NOT MYSELF, you could be right. Maybe it has a lot to do with the age difference. He's 40 and I'm 27. I manage his office. Make him great deals of money. His NUMBER 1 concern is his business and that's fine but every once in a while music, art, laughing and other things can uplift a person. So you know it could be time for me to start testing the waters again. I love life and I want to live it to the fulliest. He can't accept that then all he has to do is say the words. I am capable of being as rational as possible even if it means being hurt for a good couple of months.

[not_myself]

I think you are right - go test the waters! you are young and have alot to offer. If you stayed with him you could seriously get bored. Dont waste your 20's trying to cater to a 40 year-old's lifestyle and demands...

You only have 3 years left! I only have one

[immizunderstood]

Thanks, you are so sweet. I love your motivation. I'll see you by the ocean. Hope your waters warm.

[rastafari]

wow i got the same line. isnt it weird? i was so in shock at the time i didnt have anything to say. "we dont even have anything in common except for snowboarding, and you like the park and i like to freeride." that was on top of about everything else you could imagine. another guy came into the picture at the time, they were friends, so i think thats the reason i got the boot. too bad the guys a looser.

 

anyways, have you two broken up yet? or was that one of those incredible lines that came with the break up? i think its such bullsh*t.people suck.

[immizunderstood]

No, the break up hasn't come yet. Just waiting and yes it is bullsh*t. But what can I say. I have to continue looking towards the future no matter how hard it is. If its mean't to be he'll realize other than that I'll continue to convince my self I'll be fine.

[suegail]

I understand what you're saying about the selfish behavior of a man, or some men, I should say, because I used to go out with a guy who would make a big fuss, insisting I make a decision about where we'd eat supper, and I'd try to pass it back to him knowing what the outcome would be, but he'd still insist. "You make the decision." Okay, so I'd say, 'well, let's go to Ponderosa," or something like that and he'd drive along for awhile, heading in the right direction, but soon we'd pass the Ponderosa, I'd say, "There it was," and he'd say, "Oh, I decided I feel like shrimp dinner tonight. Let's go to Red Lobster." So, there you have it. We'd always wind up where he wanted to be and if we watched television together, he had the remote in his hand flipping through the channels asking 'what do you want to watch?' I never bothered to answer. Oddly enough, he never noticed that I never answered. *S*

 

People often live together for years on end with very little in common. Maybe something else is going on in his life (as others have suggested) and he's not sure what to do so he's trying to make himself more free to decide.

[lindya]

I think someone saying "we've nothing in common" can mean a lot of things. You're a good bit younger than he is, which isn't necessarily fatal - but can sometimes make it that bit more difficult to establish common ground.

 

It seems a shame that you should be so stifled by this guy. He's telling you that the two of you have nothing in common, so why isn't he isn't breaking up with you? Presumably because you still hold a certain attraction for him...but once you hit an age where it would be harder for you to find a new guy, will that attraction still be there?

 

You're only 27. There are loads of single 27 year old guys out there, and you could be having a blast right now. Instead, you're counting away the hours, days, months and years whilst you wait for fate to decree whether this relationship is meant to be. It's up to you whether you carry on counting those months away, but I rather doubt that either fate or this guy will have any great reward waiting for you when he's done bleeding your youth from you.

[Mr Spock]

If you can smell the breakup coming, FEEL it, why not initiate it??? Waiting around for someone to dump you is one of the lamest things you can do. It will certainly suprise him, wake him up to the fact you are not to be taken for granted.

 

 

Take the power back, and all that.

[immizunderstood]

I kinda agree with Lindya, sometimes I do feel he's using me for my youth. In the beginning it was so wonderful we were so into each other. His favorite topic of discussion was me now its like "whatever." I'm trying to make sense out of all this because as of now everything SEEMS to be fine. But in my heart I know I have to make a change and only because of his actions. I'm just confused though, I don't know if this is what couples actually go through. Do they really have a honeymoon period that turns into reality or is this some warp way of how love goes. Fall in love, think not in love and fall in love again. REALLY, WHAT'S UP WITH THIS LOVE THING. Is it possible for it to be consistent or is it made up of what people perceive love to be. BECAUSE TO ME I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE PEOPLE MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO BE IN LOVE NOT ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE.