Boyfriend broke up with me, had me move out, but still wants to hang out?

[Ashley473]

I am just so confused and really need some advice.

 

My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me last night, and I had to move out today. We spent 20 hours (literally) in bed crying & hugging.

 

His reasoning stems from resentment towards me from last year. I struggled with depression for about 6 months after college. While he was struggling with bills, I had no strive to do anything or help.

 

He says that he continues to walk into the door & feel negative feelings about me because he let it build up for so long, even though I no longer am struggling and have been working full-time for a while now.

 

I totally took advantage of him, but he was the only one I felt like I could confide in about my struggles. Now, he's scared it's going to happen in the future.

 

The problem is, he still wants to get together and "see how things go" & "if it's meant to be, it will be". He doesn't want a label, but he calls us "separated." We are going for a drive on Sunday (something we did when we first started dating 4 years ago), to talk about how we are feeling, and perhaps our spark will come back with time.

 

He is not the type to drag me along. If he was truly done, I don't think he'd say those things, or hang out.. He just needs "space" to get out his anger and resentment towards me, and "he can't do it while I'm under the same roof."

 

I just don't know what to do because I'm so confused. He doesn't want me to live with him, we are pretty much broken up, yet he is open to the idea of getting that spark back. Do you think if he really wanted us to reconcile, he wouldn't have kicked me out?

[d0nnivain]

He wants his cake & to it eat it too. If you give him to this selfish request on his part you will never heal.

 

Anybody who makes you move out on the unreasonable time frame of a few hours notice isn't worth giving additional consideration to.

[Brando]

He wants his cake & to it eat it too. If you give him to this selfish request on his part you will never heal.

 

Anybody who makes you move out on the unreasonable time frame of a few hours notice isn't worth giving additional consideration to.

 

This is correct. I don't consider myself the kind of guy who strings people along, but I'm guilty of it in the past. It's what people do...I mean I broke up with a girl and did what he did.

 

I don't want a label= I want the freedom to see other women

 

I want "space"= let me do whatever I want with no repercussions

 

Let's see where this goes= while I do whatever or whoever I want, please don't you do the same so I can fall back on you or use you to fill the void until I find someone else or don't feel like being single anymore....then when I decide to pull this same move....I will do the same thing to you...no label, space, let's see where this goes.....and you'll hang out and wait....

 

Don't be that person. Go NC and let him figure himself out on his own.

[Brando]

This is correct. I don't consider myself the kind of guy who strings people along, but I'm guilty of it in the past. It's what people do...I mean I broke up with a girl and did what he did.

 

I don't want a label= I want the freedom to see other women

 

I want "space"= let me do whatever I want with no repercussions

 

Let's see where this goes= while I do whatever or whoever I want, please don't you do the same so I can fall back on you or use you to fill the void until I find someone else or don't feel like being single anymore....then when I decide to pull this same move....I will do the same thing to you...no label, space, let's see where this goes.....and you'll hang out and wait....

 

Don't be that person. Go NC and let him figure himself out on his own.

 

Also, life is tough....people lose jobs and struggle with money. People go through tons of ups and downs. You want to be with someone who kicks you out because you were struggling? He resents you for being down during a time of struggle??? Please, if he cared he would be by your side every minute of every struggle and never resent you for it.

[stillafool]

He says that he continues to walk into the door & feel negative feelings about me because he let it build up for so long, even though I no longer am struggling and have been working full-time for a while now.

 

Maybe you should remind him that he said the above and how are you going to be friends when he feels negative feelings towards you. He's full of it! Also it's pretty lousy that he gives you such short notice to leave. If I were you I'd move out and never speak to him again.