GF broke with me, was it GIGS?

[randomlover]

Hello everybody,

 

Background;

just to tell the story, I met my ex gf my first semester in a community college (I'm an international student). Our relationship was amazing in every way and had so many memories and experiences. Well the second year of college I got awarded with 50k a year for college expenses from my country's government also a nice chunk of money to spend in whatever I wanted.

 

My GF being a nice girl ( caring, cute, smart and overall amazing) i fell in love with her and didn't care about the money and took her with me on vacations, restaurants, bought a mutual nice car and paid her debt.

 

She didn't have any motivation in school(0.98gpa) when I met her but after she started getting 4.0 and really good grades like me. Also we picked hobbies together like going to the gym together, watching different kind of movies and exploring a bunch of new places we haven't been.

I was really happy because we both were growing in the relationship, she was with me in every step I was taking and was so caring and supportive.

 

 

Story:

briefing things a little bit last semester she started playing video games a lot and stop caring about herself and the relationship itself. I was worried and we were having so many fights. I thought: well this is temporal then she will come back to normal.

 

During the Christmas break she went back to her house in texas and I went back to my country. During this break I felt her indifferent and always busy to talk to me. Again I thought : she was spending time with her family so it was ok for me. after-all, at the beginning of this semester she said that she has been thinking about taking a break in our relationship . I went full retarded mode and talk to her about all our plans in the future and begged her to stay with me. That didn't work, so she told me that it wasn't me. In reality she said she was confused and that she didn't feel the same way about me anymore ( I love you but I'm not in love with you) After that i told her ok move on, I wanna see you happy. The same day she called me and told me that it didn't feel right and she wanted to work thing out with me. We tried and even made love but then the next day she said the same thing about taking a break. Again I was heart broken and looking for ways to make her happy and took her to a date and bought her some flowers. Well she kept insisting on leaving me and then I surrender and left. THe same night she calls me from work at tells me that she doesn't want to leave but try again with me.

 

After all this roller coaster of emotions she went back again to the original decision of breaking up with me but stay as friends. At first I agreed with her and helped her with some stuff until I realized that it hurt really bad to see her as a friend when I was still having feeling for her. I decided to go NC and told her that I didn't want to be her friend anymore but if she decides to rekindle our love she is welcome.

She went nuts when she herd that and started treating me like a heartless b*tch and like a total stranger she hates. Las week my best friend told me how he ate with her and saw her texting this guy on her phone. Well, the guys she was texting, plays xbox with her and I just discovered she has been playing day and night for hours and hours with him for months ( she had this hidden from me) She doesn't even know how the guy looks like because the met online and she doesn't even know that I'm aware of all this addiction and playing with this random guy.

Sadly after all this a few days ago my dad passed away from a heart attack and she didn't even tried to be with me but just sent me a text telling me sorry for my loss.

 

This story is actually really long but her parents are also going through divorce and I think she got mentally affected by this.

 

Sorry for all this terrible writing lol ( I'm a finance major)

Edited February 2, 2016 by randomlover

[ExpatInItaly]

First, my condolences for the loss of your father. What an awful time for you. I hope you are focusing your energy on grieving and healing and not on this girl during what must be a very sad period.

 

Second, her behaviour has nothing to do with GIGS (which I don't buy into anyway, if I'm being honest) She just isn't into you in the same way anymore. I'm sure she used to have genuine feelings for you but she outgrew the relationship. She could indeed be feeling down because of her parents's situation, but that is not the root cause of this. She sounds like she's young and not very mature, and doesn't know her own heart and mind yet. Also, some people are blinded by money - if you were spending a lot on her, she might have been sticking around for the wrong reasons.

 

I would continue to stick to No Contact. She isn't the right one for you.

[randomlover]

Thanks for your reply,

 

I'm grieving my dad loss and trying no to think about her a lot.

About the money part I felt that she isn't like other girls demanding stuff, I gave her a credit card extension of mine and she never used because she felt that it wasn't good to take advantage of me.

She was a pretty good girl but no became heartless and addicted to video games 9 skipping classes, not going to the gym and not even sleeping because of the video games). This has been the hardest time in my life even having a job waiting for me at Goldman Sachs, scholarships for Grad school and loving friends. I feel miserable and lonely.

[ExpatInItaly]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, OP. These forums are a good place to vent and just have somewhere anonymous to write out what you're feeling, so I do encourage you to continue posting.

 

You need to be particularly caring of yourself now. You've just been handed a huge blow and will need plenty of time to process this loss in your life. Add to that the breakup and you've got a fragile state of mind. Take it 24 hours at a time.