SirCommoner Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 So my ex is a horrible partner, she is really immature about her feelings, can't deal with them and when we were dating she didn't communicate and didn't even tell me everything big and important that was happening in her life that really concerned me. Some days ago, she said she wanted to be friends with me, but then the next day I saw her when I was with my friends she acted like a total bitch, I went to hug her (because of some personal achievements in her life) and she just stood there with her hands down, not hugging me back, and then took my arms out of her and said "no arms". She even mentioned our breakup, which we had promised each other not to mention when we see each other. Problem is, she is adorable, and that adorableness fakes that terrible, terrible personality. I try to come up with things to say to myself that can make me stop viewing only this adorable side, but I am just unable. I need advice on why am I still feeling this although she is a terrible partner and what I can do to stop this illusion.
DarkHorizon Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 It is GREAT that you are already aware that this IS an illusion. That awareness is the window you need to keep moving in the right direction. Every single time your mind weakens, use that as an anchor... try to focus on the negative experiences - the "hug" you described is a pretty good one - and in no time you will already feel your mental state improving. Your mind will play all the games; the obsessive game, the compulsive game, and the worst one, the delusionary game. You need the hard facts, the memory of real actions to kick in, so you can stop the mind from creating these false scenarios. 3
smudge21 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Years and years ago, my first love turned out like this and I still kept that place in my heart for her.. but then came one day I bumped into her and her friend and I'm of course seeing her with those rose tinted love specs on so expecting great things, but she totally treated me like dirt, talked over me, turned her back on me, really bad. I just remember walking away without saying a word... and I never looked back. It was like a big kick in the head to wake up and stop chasing the fantasy and see the real person. I did and was so glad to get away from that one... but it took a while. 2
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