Ara-bella Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Hello:) I just wanted some input on this issue. First, i do get along with my boyfriends immediate family, his parents like me and his siblings make an effort to talk to me. However, this past holiday season he has taken me to his family thanksgiving and Christmas parties, where all his cousins and aunts/uncles would be. Maybe I was expecting different, but not one person tried talking to me no asking about the school I went to, job, anything. Makes me feel bad because no one makes me feel comfortable. I even saw his one cousin mad-dogging me- it makes me wonder if it's a race thing because I'm Asian and he's Mexican. When I take him to my family parties, he doesn't have to go out of his way to talk to my relatives, they ask him questions/greet him out of politeness. I'm worried to express this because he's probably just gonna say he won't take me anymore which I feel will create a barrier, but when I do go I just feel very anxious and awkward. Thoughts??
kendahke Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 (edited) Did you extend yourself or did you just sit back and expected them to come to you? Were you approachable? Did you introduce yourself to anyone or did your boyfriend introduce you to his extended family? Did his immediate family introduce you to anyone? Were they speaking English or Spanish? If they were speaking Spanish and you didn't try talking to anyone, they may have assumed you didn't speak Spanish. Do you? IF his go-to response would to be to tell you he won't take you around them anymore, then you need to think long and hard about the wisdom in being with someone who won't do the simplest of social graces by introducing you to family members you don't know. Edited February 2, 2016 by kendahke 1
smackie9 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Don't worry about it....they will warm up to you eventually. 1
Author Ara-bella Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 I'm naturally shy but would open up if they talked to me. I felt intimidated by how much of his family was there so I was a little quiet but definitely smiled a lot, tried to look approachable, they didn't say anything else to me besides hi and bye basically. I guess I could try and talk, but they're always talking to each other and I don't want to butt in. They were speaking English and no I don't speak spanish. My bf introduced me to some of his relatives but again no conversation just hi and bye not as welcoming as my family was to him!
kendahke Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 It's a two way street. Granted, it was your first time around them, so there's that. I can be quite shy around people I don't know and it takes courage to speak up, but I make myself to do it. I find that once the ball is rolling, I can do the repartee thing pretty well--but then again, I'm much older than you. It's a learned skill, but one you should definitely practice. Listen to what they're saying and ask questions about it when there is a lull in their conversation. Ask them their name again and use that as your opening. Ask them what they do, tell them you like a particular hairstyle or piece of jewelry and use that as your open to conversation. Compliments go a long way to warming up people to you.
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