chaddercheese Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Watching a film last night, a man with a gun walks down a street shooting at people. She says "what would you do if that happened to us?" My answer "id pick you up and carry you and use myself as a shield... nah, actually youd just slow me down, ill run and call you next week to see if you made it put okay" This has caused a massive argument about how much of a monster i am, what she has just texted me below... "Nah you said youd run away and didnt correct me when i was upset aboit that. And also yoi thouhht it was hilariois. Can you see my point that you know how much you upset me And why would you treat me that way if you cared about me I cant understand from anywhere inside me how you can be so horrible Im so so confused I never meant anything to you And I dont know what to do anymore I feel like everything is completely pointless"
smudge21 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 The joke was the catalyst not the cause - some serious issues that have been bottled up there and not talked about for some time IMO. 5
introverted1 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Her reaction is completely irrational imo. No matter what you said, there is no way to know how you'd react in the situation unless the situation actually presented itself. Essentially, this was a test -- if you loved her, you would have said you'd happily die for her, blah blah. She sounds very young and immature. 1
Author chaddercheese Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 This was yesterday, saturday: I said "(my friend) sam always goes on in the group chat about all the girls he gets, he says we need to watch he will show us how its done. But ive never seen him with any girl in the years ive known him" Her "so your watching him to learn how to pull, whatever why dont you just go pull one of those whores then." Me "what you on about? So according to you im going out to pull?" Her "so your going out to pull then see you just said it" We didnt speak then as i drove us to the shopping center, we get out the car shes 10 steps behind me and wanders into a shop without telling me, she then tells me to go and meet her at XXX shop, ive never been here before so ask her where that is. She says i have 5 minutes to meet her or shes going home and its over. I say where is this shop then? She says okay you made your choice and that shes on the train to hers. I get a call 30 minutes later saying that she is at my house waiting because we were going to the cinema. I have to drive half an hour to my house to get her, then half an hour back again so we can go the cinema. And she is completely fine then all evening.
Author chaddercheese Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 Let me guess, you two are really young? Wrong, mid 20's coming from serious relationships before, i have dealt with this when 16 and 17, not 25ish
introverted1 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Wrong, mid 20's coming from serious relationships before, i have dealt with this when 16 and 17, not 25ish Why are you dealing with it now? From your examples, it appears this is her dynamic. Your choices are to participate... or not.
PegNosePete Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 As I said in your previous threads (under both of your usernames), she is a psycho crazy drama seeker. If you enjoy this kind of thing then feel free to try to wiggle yourself out of this situation. If you have any self respect them dump her and find someone who makes you happy. 4
central Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 For the future, such questions are serious. Don't respond with a joke - at least not until you've dealt with it seriously, and are then clear you're joking to lighten the mood. You failed that one, and now it seems she's pulling your chain in response. Hard to say what will happen here, but good luck.
PegNosePete Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 For the future, such questions are serious. Maybe with a normal woman, but this girl has a history of this kind of thing. She was asking it purely to start a fight because she loves drama. There was no "right answer". Whatever he said would have resulted in her going off at the deep end and this thread being made.
Lorenza Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Well, then she is a drama queen who besides that, thinks quite low of you and has bad expectations. Lack of trust + tendency to create arguments out of thin air. I was like that when I was 18 dating my first guy. Seems like your girl is still stuck in that teenage state of mind.
Author chaddercheese Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 This all stems from when she visits her old uni friends in London. Shed never had a proper bf before, she was at uni 200 miles from her house, all her friends she made lives there anyway. She had planned to move there after uni and live with them forever. She then met me, she still had that plan but i told her if she moves it would be the end of us. She said she chooses me. She goes to London to visit on occasion and since we had the talk about being us or moving 200 miles away she comes home, she lives with her parents and little brother and occasionally sister and her bf in a 2 bedroom house. Her friends that lived around here all moved to either travel the world on parents money or moved to their unis. She didnt have the option of travelling with no money so got a job and works stupid shifts, either 6 - 16 or 12 - 12 etc. We are fine all the time, but whenever she goes to see these friends all living with parents in this place she wanted to go she startes arguments over stupid things and then tells me how she hates living where she is. I gave up everything i had, home family friends to move 200 miles south for work and shes the only thing i have other than work here, so im trying to make it work and make it more comfortable for her bit its so diffocult
introverted1 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 This all stems from when she visits her old uni friends in London. Disagree. This stems from who she is. This kind of manipulative game-playing is a character defect. It has nothing to do with who her friends are or how many bf's she's had before you. Her behavior isn't going to change based on anything you do. Any change would have to be initiated by her and will require work on her part to achieve. Good luck. 2
PegNosePete Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 This all stems from when she visits her old uni friends in London. What's that got to do with the price of fish? She is a drama llama and creates arguments for no apparent reason other than she enjoys to create arguments and enjoys being angry at you. If you enjoy a relationship with that kind of woman then good for you, carry on. Personally I would dump her so fast I'd have to FedEx her shadow back to her. 3
LostOnes05 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 As Adam Sandler would say in "Water Boy", something is wrong with her medulla oblongata. I don't even know you and I read your response as a joke. She's immature. I dealt with a woman that found a way to start arguments like that from just about anything, even me calling to say goodnight haha. It is literally a waste of your time...trust me. She won't change as long as you put up with it. When she left you at the shopping center and then said she was at your house, I wouldn't have gone to get her. Your only response should have been, "well the movie starts at X, hope to see you there!". I've learned that you absolutely can not give in to these tests. It's better to walk away than to put up with it. Doing so only justifies these actions in their minds. Best of luck bro!
GorillaTheater Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Watching a film last night, a man with a gun walks down a street shooting at people. She says "what would you do if that happened to us?" My answer "id pick you up and carry you and use myself as a shield... nah, actually youd just slow me down, ill run and call you next week to see if you made it put okay" I would've answered exactly the same way. It sounds like there's a history here of issues, but just by her reaction to this one incident, it's pretty clear that you two are incompatible. Smart-asses and drama queens rarely mix well.
Author chaddercheese Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 Its my personality aswell, she knows, shes been with me for half a year, she knows its me, sarcasm and dead pan is my humour and she always finds me hilarious, often walking away from a date saying she didnt stop laughing the whole way through. But now i make the say it she los4e it
GunslingerRoland Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 I think there is a saying about not putting certain body parts in others who aren't mentally sound that might apply here.
scrapbooker Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Regardless of her chronological age, she's a child. If you continue to date her then you're a volunteer for this behavior.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 As I said in your previous threads (under both of your usernames), she is a psycho crazy drama seeker. If you enjoy this kind of thing then feel free to try to wiggle yourself out of this situation. If you have any self respect them dump her and find someone who makes you happy. Agree with all of the above. OP, many of us have given you advice. For some reason, you keep going back to her for more crazy. I'm starting to wonder if you like this drama, on some level.
shyguy3543 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 How inconsiderate can you be? Clearly this poor girl was in a situation where some guy was running around with a gun and her ex picked her up and she thought she was being saved, but then he ran away instead and didn't call up until the following week to see if she was okay. ...teehee
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