vmckenzie Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 I've been speaking to a guy for quite some time and we finally went on our first date. I told him that I am not looking for a relationship and he said he isn't as well but said that he would like a companion and that if a relationship happens, it happens. He kept saying that it was lovely to see me, very flirty, mirroring my body language, compliments, asking about me/my family, spoke of his and showing genuine interest. He took me out for dinner and then he dropped me home and we relaxed by my pool for quite some time cuddling. Although he began to speak about how he wants to meet my parents, that he has a few weeks of break in the next few months and wants to know if I could join him on a holiday. He told me that he would like to do something for my birthday(which is soon). He knows about my family and I do of his. He tells me he wants to meet them etc. After he left, he messaged me saying that he really enjoyed himself and thanked me. He constantly invites me out for dinners after his work. He messages me saying he misses me, wants to spend time with me and other types of flirting and usually with my replies I keep it platonic(not romantic but sexual), I generally don't say I miss him back etc. However, I've noticed he's taking longer to reply to me, from 10 minutes longer to an hour or two (which I do not have an issue with) but the mixed signals is confusing me because if this guy is really only looking for fun, I can accept that however when he shows signs of romantic interest, I think to myself "Maybe we could try for a relationship if this works.." He took me out for dinner and the movies and I gave him oral and he said during the head "this going to make me fall for you" and then when he left he messaged me and everything was normal. I'm currently away on holidays for 2 weeks which he knows and has said to send him photos, that he wishes he was here with me etc. We were texting longer than a week ago and then he suddenly stopped and I hadn't heard from him in days then I decided to text him telling him that we should go seperate ways as our motives are different. He replied saying "what do you mean? I'm in hospital right now" then asked the reasons why. I replied and I haven't heard anything more. That was 12 days ago.
Toodaloo Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 You didn't get the hint when he said I am in hospital right now? 5
Author vmckenzie Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 What was the hint? He proceeded to tell me that he had broken his leg, although terrible but would have still been able to text me if he wanted to.
smudge21 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Am I missing something here, but it seems that although you both said you weren't interested in a relationship, you both act like you are. Sounds to me like you're both not being honest with each other or yourselves. Oh and yeah, what's with the hospital line. If I was interested in someone, not heard from them in a while then found out they were in hospital, I'd probably be more concerned with them then with myself at that point. 5
Author vmckenzie Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 As in we both spoke about not wanting a relationship but we both acted like we were together?
ExpatInItaly Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 What's the mystery? You told him you didn't want a relationship. You can't very well expect him to pursue you much after that. If a guy told me he didn't want a relationship, I'd stop putting energy into it too. If you didn't mean it, you shoudn't have told him that. 5
d0nnivain Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 He's in the hospital with a broken leg & you didn't so much as say get well soon or offer to help him while he's incapacitated. Maybe you don't want a relationship but human compassion goes a long way You don't seem to be putting in much effort and you said you wanted to go your separate ways. In essence you dumped him. So he got fed up & stopped texting. Where is the mystery? 5
Popsicle Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 I've been speaking to a guy for quite some time and we finally went on our first date. I told him that I am not looking for a relationship and he said he isn't as well but said that he would like a companion and that if a relationship happens, it happens. He kept saying that it was lovely to see me, very flirty, mirroring my body language, compliments, asking about me/my family, spoke of his and showing genuine interest. He took me out for dinner and then he dropped me home and we relaxed by my pool for quite some time cuddling. Although he began to speak about how he wants to meet my parents, that he has a few weeks of break in the next few months and wants to know if I could join him on a holiday. He told me that he would like to do something for my birthday(which is soon). He knows about my family and I do of his. He tells me he wants to meet them etc. After he left, he messaged me saying that he really enjoyed himself and thanked me. He constantly invites me out for dinners after his work. He messages me saying he misses me, wants to spend time with me and other types of flirting and usually with my replies I keep it platonic(not romantic but sexual), I generally don't say I miss him back etc. However, I've noticed he's taking longer to reply to me, from 10 minutes longer to an hour or two (which I do not have an issue with) but the mixed signals is confusing me because if this guy is really only looking for fun, I can accept that however when he shows signs of romantic interest, I think to myself "Maybe we could try for a relationship if this works.." He took me out for dinner and the movies and I gave him oral and he said during the head "this going to make me fall for you" and then when he left he messaged me and everything was normal. I'm currently away on holidays for 2 weeks which he knows and has said to send him photos, that he wishes he was here with me etc. We were texting longer than a week ago and then he suddenly stopped and I hadn't heard from him in days then I decided to text him telling him that we should go seperate ways as our motives are different. He replied saying "what do you mean? I'm in hospital right now" then asked the reasons why. I replied and I haven't heard anything more. That was 12 days ago. Because you're being too clinical towards him, not showing any feeling for him in return, it's cold. He thinks you don't feel the same and is trying to take the hint...it hurts to get rejected over and over. No feeling sends that message.
fitnessfan365 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 (edited) To be honest, you both sound like you're in denial. You say that you don't want a relationship. Yet you cuddled with him, are really looking for signs of interest, and have expectations about him texting you. Then he says he wants to meet your parents after one date. This situation sounds WAY too serious, WAY too fast to be something "casual". Just saying... Edited February 2, 2016 by fitnessfan365
stillafool Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 If you weren't interested in getting serious with him beyond sex, why are you stressing now? He may be seeing others as well. Are you seeing other men too?
Toodaloo Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 He's in the hospital with a broken leg & you didn't so much as say get well soon or offer to help him while he's incapacitated. Maybe you don't want a relationship but human compassion goes a long way You don't seem to be putting in much effort and you said you wanted to go your separate ways. In essence you dumped him. So he got fed up & stopped texting. Where is the mystery? Don you put things so politely sometimes... I will close my mouth now...
truth_seeker Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 If you weren't interested in getting serious with him beyond sex, why are you stressing now? He may be seeing others as well. Are you seeing other men too? Man wants relationship, woman doesn't... man doesn't want relationship, woman does... round and round we go...
pidgeon1010 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 hmm if you don't want a relationship, why are you looking to be treated as a girlfriend? You're not being honest with yourself here. If you really just want companionship, there should be no expectations for constant communication. You will hear from him when you hear from him. The most egregious behavior though is the fact that he texted to let you know he was in the hospital because of a broken leg and you didn't care one bit. It was all about you. ME ME ME ME. WHY HAVEN'T YOU TEXTED ME ME ME ME ME. You broke a leg? but where is my text, your hands still work. LOL really? 1
Lois_Griffin Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 He took me out for dinner and the movies and I gave him oral and he said during the head "this going to make me fall for you" and then when he left he messaged me and everything was normal. I don't know. Maybe he found someone else willing to give him oral for the price of dinner and a movie?
Recommended Posts