AlexDominico Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 gf going with her childhood bf to a rock concert to see her favourite band (dated 3 years in school). he got them tickets it while she was dating someone else who she dumped cause she didnt love him a few month ago. am her 3rd bf ever and we are going out for 2 month and exclusive as of recent. should I be ok with her going with her 1st bf? to be honest I dont really care I mean she dumped her first bf too cause she didnt love him and I guess he is more of a childhood friend. I mean I dont care, should I care? Problem I have is shes going for a ski trip after for few days and am not even asking if its with her friends that include first bf or not, if it is then I should just dump her probably? should I even ask?
LoveRefreshed Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 You'll get a variety of responses on this one. It's a mixed bag. You can see people give contradicting advice depending on their mood. Trust her or state your boundaries and stick to it are pretty much it though. I've a girlfriend who stays in touch with all of her ex boyfriends. Every single ****ing one except the one with whom she didn't have an amicable break up. Three years is a lot of time, have they remained friends since though? If this were a out of the blue thing and they weren't really friends, I'd be a lot more skeptical. A lot of people have a hard time being emotional honest with their partners when that truth carries an idea that will hurt their partner. Despite that, I still think the best thing you can do, if you're uncomfortable, is talk to her. Ask her how she feels about him and trust her answer. Don't be angry even if you are jealous. Jealousy is something that you can manage if you're calm and talk to her. You can set boundaries like I have- If they attempt to make romantic gestures or moves, then we all have a conversation. If it happens twice, then she isn't his friend anymore.
road Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 gf going with her childhood bf to a rock concert to see her favourite band (dated 3 years in school). he got them tickets it while she was dating someone else who she dumped cause she didnt love him a few month ago. am her 3rd bf ever and we are going out for 2 month and exclusive as of recent. should I be ok with her going with her 1st bf? to be honest I dont really care I mean she dumped her first bf too cause she didnt love him and I guess he is more of a childhood friend. I mean I dont care, should I care? Problem I have is shes going for a ski trip after for few days and am not even asking if its with her friends that include first bf or not, if it is then I should just dump her probably? should I even ask? She should not be going on any dates with ex BF. Specially rock concerts. As to the ski trip she should of volunteered who was going so you would not have to have any worries. Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Why are you being left out of the trip?
d0nnivain Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 I assume he bought these tickets before you entered the picture 8 weeks ago. When she agreed to go to a concert to see her favorite band, if she wasn't dating you she did nothing wrong. Once you started dating, she told you & she didn't hide it. Concert tickets are expensive & it is her favorite band. It's a stadium full of people, not an intimate romantic date. The ski trip is a little trickier but again I need to know what it was planned. I booked a 10 day cruise 8 months out & a month before I met DH. At that point, I wasn't sure he & I would make it 6 months so I wasn't about to cancel an expensive vacation & disappoint my traveling companions over what if. So I went. You should ask more Qs about the ski trip. Don't be afraid to show your vulnerable side & that you are a bit jealous about this trip. Not lunatic trying to forbid her from going jealous but concerned & in need of reassurance. Give her a chance to show you that she's trust worthy. 1
PegNosePete Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 I agree with Donnie. This event was pre-arranged before you and her were dating. What do you expect her to do? Cancel her tickets and lose out on the money and opportunity of seeing her favourite band, just because she started dating you? If she had arranged to go with her ex bf whilst dating you then it would be a different matter entirely, we would be asking why she is going with him and not you. But this has been arranged and paid for a long time ago. I'd certainly ask who she's gong skiing with, not in an accusatory manner and don't ask about her ex specifically. Just ask who she's going with. Again, if it's pre-arranged before you came onto the scene, you have to suck it up. Bu if it was arranged while you were dating, red flag. Have you met her ex and other friends? If so, you should be able to tell a lot about their relationship. If not, why not? 1
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