Slimsavvy Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Been together for 6-7 months. He works a lot and I rarely get to see him but recently nothing has been adding up. Numerous time we were to go on dates but hes canceled because he got called into work. I've even taken off from work and every single time i have he has got called in. We were supposed to go meet my dad 3 times but his phone stopped working EACH time. Although, every single time we are together his is constantly on his phone. The only time he wants to hang out is after I get off work which is around 12 a.m. (we are not sexually active btw). On days we are supposed to go out he gets off work at around 8-9 but on days we cant he always seems to get off at 5-6 and never once gets called in. I haven't seen him since the day after Christmas because hes been busy working. Before that he went 7 weeks without seeing me. After him not texting me back for two days I sat and thought about it.. our whole relationship doesn't add up. He always has free time to hang out with his 'family' (bro,sis, mom,dad) but never with me. Ive never been to his house but hes been to mine. I've been thinking now that maybe he is seeing someone else. I dont want to peg him to be a horrible guy but other than this theory his is a great boyfriend. Nothing seems right anymore. More to the story I just dont want to bore. Thoughts?
strawberryshortstack Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Been together for 6-7 months. He works a lot and I rarely get to see him but recently nothing has been adding up. Numerous time we were to go on dates but hes canceled because he got called into work. I've even taken off from work and every single time i have he has got called in. We were supposed to go meet my dad 3 times but his phone stopped working EACH time. Although, every single time we are together his is constantly on his phone. The only time he wants to hang out is after I get off work which is around 12 a.m. (we are not sexually active btw). On days we are supposed to go out he gets off work at around 8-9 but on days we cant he always seems to get off at 5-6 and never once gets called in. I haven't seen him since the day after Christmas because hes been busy working. Before that he went 7 weeks without seeing me. After him not texting me back for two days I sat and thought about it.. our whole relationship doesn't add up. He always has free time to hang out with his 'family' (bro,sis, mom,dad) but never with me. Ive never been to his house but hes been to mine. I've been thinking now that maybe he is seeing someone else. I dont want to peg him to be a horrible guy but other than this theory his is a great boyfriend. Nothing seems right anymore. More to the story I just dont want to bore. Thoughts? Honestly, I think you're onto something. That's an awful long time to not see someone you're in a relationship with (that isn't an LDR). You've never been to his house: what are his reasons for this? My guess is that he lives with someone. 6
dispatch3d Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Breakup. Find a guy that has time for you. 6
Robratory Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 I've been thinking now that maybe he is seeing someone else. I dont want to peg him to be a horrible guy but other than this theory his is a great boyfriend. Nothing seems right anymore. More to the story I just dont want to bore. Thoughts? Well, it really doesn't matter what's going on, does it? No matter what it is, it doesn't change the situation, does it? The situation should be just plain unacceptable. He once went seven weeks without contacting you? And now you haven't heard from him since the day after Christmas? Why are you putting up with this? You've only been dating six, seven months, and you don't even live together! Oh, and you're not having sex. By the way, I actually did read your entire post, and I just don't see the part where he's a "great boyfriend." Just forget him! You deserve better. Start dating someone else, and if he ever contacts you, just say, "Sorry, you dropped off the face of the earth, so I'm involved with someone else now." 7
basil67 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Sweetie, this isn't a 'boyfriend' - it's a casual friendship with someone who doesn't prioritise you. Does he know that you see him as a boyfriend? 4
ExpatInItaly Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 It sounds like he has a girlfriend or wife. 8
Author Slimsavvy Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 You've never been to his house: what are his reasons for this? My guess is that he lives with someone. He told me he lives with his sister in a house they bought together, but now thinking about it she knows about us. What is the reasoning now? I don't know. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 He told me he lives with his sister in a house they bought together, but now thinking about it she knows about us. What is the reasoning now? I don't know. I would bet my bottom dollar it's not his sister he lives with. Why are you wasting you time with someone like this? 8
red.velvet Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 Please leave him. You deserve better treatment. 3
SandraTempleton Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 But if you want to know the truth you can google him and use the information you do have to see who he lives with. Do you have him as a friend on facebook or another social media site? Sorry Sweetie but it's time to dump this one. 1
Author Slimsavvy Posted February 3, 2016 Author Posted February 3, 2016 I'm sure its over now. My manager text this for me Me: Obviously I'm not worth what little time it would take you to respond to me, so why should I expect anything more from you? I will just leave you alone... If you ever find the time maybe I will too. Him: I'm sorry *my name*
strawberryshortstack Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 He told me he lives with his sister in a house they bought together, but now thinking about it she knows about us. What is the reasoning now? I don't know. have you met her? It's easy for him to say it's his sister in case you ever do find yourself at his house and see evidence of another woman (especially one who shares his last name...), but I'd bet money that his "sister" is actually his wife. 1
cichlids Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 I'm sure its over now. My manager text this for me Me: Obviously I'm not worth what little time it would take you to respond to me, so why should I expect anything more from you? I will just leave you alone... If you ever find the time maybe I will too. Him: I'm sorry *my name* At least you never had sex with him. 3
Author Slimsavvy Posted February 3, 2016 Author Posted February 3, 2016 have you met her? It's easy for him to say it's his sister in case you ever do find yourself at his house and see evidence of another woman (especially one who shares his last name...), but I'd bet money that his "sister" is actually his wife. I have not met her, but she knew considering we were 'facebook official'. But I'm also thinking that because most of his profile was privatized maybe he had it where I could see it and not his friends and fam. Because we never spoke outside of him being on the phone once and hearing her talk in the background. Gosh, everything is just getting so much clearer! 2
Author Slimsavvy Posted February 3, 2016 Author Posted February 3, 2016 Please leave him. You deserve better treatment. I completely agree! 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 I'm sure its over now. My manager text this for me Me: Obviously I'm not worth what little time it would take you to respond to me, so why should I expect anything more from you? I will just leave you alone... If you ever find the time maybe I will too. Him: I'm sorry *my name* Good! I am almost certain this guy is leading a double-life and that you are the unwitting "other woman." In the future, you'll be wiser about the red flags. You deserve so much more than this. 3
dreamingoftigers Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 Good! I am almost certain this guy is leading a double-life and that you are the unwitting "other woman." In the future, you'll be wiser about the red flags. You deserve so much more than this. Even if you aren't the OW (or one of the OW), this is just ridiculous. I hope you expect more from the next one and I'm glad you canned this one. Good for you. 1
j0celyn Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 I haven't seen him since the day after Christmas because hes been busy working. Before that he went 7 weeks without seeing me. Honestly I think there is an explanation for everything and we can't just jump to the worst conclusions in relationships. It has only been 6-7 months. While not insignificant and his behavior is certainly suspect, we don't always fully know someone's situation. (For example, he probably doesn't have wife if he can hang out with you at midnight) But the above is absolutely unacceptable! I wouldn't even accept that from someone I was just seeing, much less a boyfriend! So glad he is no longer in your life. Definitely doesn't deserve you. Like Robratory said, it doesn't change the situation that you are not getting what you want out of the "relationship." I'm curious if you ever had a serious talk with him about everything and what he said. 1
j0celyn Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 Also, to clarify, was this a long distance relationship? It doesn't sound like it, but if it is, it might help with giving you advice.
Author Slimsavvy Posted February 3, 2016 Author Posted February 3, 2016 I'm curious if you ever had a serious talk with him about everything and what he said. Yes I have 3 times. He apologizes and gives me a date for when things will change (the last promise was "When the new year starts I'll have less to do at work and more time for us") but it never happens. He lives a little less than 30 mins away somewhere in the next city.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 (edited) Honestly I think there is an explanation for everything and we can't just jump to the worst conclusions in relationships. It has only been 6-7 months. While not insignificant and his behavior is certainly suspect, we don't always fully know someone's situation. (For example, he probably doesn't have wife if he can hang out with you at midnight) But the above is absolutely unacceptable! I wouldn't even accept that from someone I was just seeing, much less a boyfriend! So glad he is no longer in your life. Definitely doesn't deserve you. Like Robratory said, it doesn't change the situation that you are not getting what you want out of the "relationship." I'm curious if you ever had a serious talk with him about everything and what he said. You might be surprised what cheaters can manage! I was unknowingly the other women to a man who hung out with me at night and even slept over once...while his live-in fiancee was working overnights as a nurse. I only found out about a month after we started seeing each other, when an old friend asked who I was dating. That friend turned out to know the finacee and of course recognized his name too. I confronted him and indeed, he was engaged and had been living with his finacee for 3 years! You're right that we don't know the true story here, but it certainly does sound like he's hiding something or more likely someone. OP, would it be correct to assume you never met any of his friends or other family members either? Where did you meet him? Edited February 3, 2016 by ExpatInItaly 1
soph-walker Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 This is shocking to read, 6-7 months! Whatever the reason, whether he's living with someone else/had a frontal lobotomy/aliens have eaten his brain, it's just not acceptable, you don't deserve to be treated this way OP. You need to gain some control over how you are treated. I wish you luck !! 3
j0celyn Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 Yes I have 3 times. He apologizes and gives me a date for when things will change (the last promise was "When the new year starts I'll have less to do at work and more time for us") but it never happens. He lives a little less than 30 mins away somewhere in the next city. Ugh. You dodged a bullet and opened up the door to someone who will treat you right and is more deserving of you! 1
j0celyn Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 You might be surprised what cheaters can manage! I was unknowingly the other women to a man who hung out with me at night and even slept over once...while his live-in fiancee was working overnights as a nurse. I only found out about a month after we started seeing each other, when an old friend asked who I was dating. That friend turned out to know the finacee and of course recognized his name too. I confronted him and indeed, he was engaged and had been living with his finacee for 3 years! You're right that we don't know the true story here, but it certainly does sound like he's hiding something or more likely someone. OP, would it be correct to assume you never met any of his friends or other family members either? Where did you meet him? Omg! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Yes, you are completely right that cheaters are capable of anything. I just figured at 6-7 months, you'd know or have enough suspicion to find out.
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