What isn't the problem... [update 2016-06-13]

[Mylife]

I wanted to post here because I guess everything I have to say comes down to how it is effecting my current relationship. There are so many things on my mind right now so I will try to keep it organized and short as much as I can.

 

Background, BF and I are together, 2 years now in May. Love each other, values match, families match, he makes me laugh, respects me and is a great man all around. I am 26 and he is 31 and we both live with our parents. He has said numerous times of he wants me forever, we buy tiny things here and there for our future house and its more gestures and comments that he says to express that we are together forever, and its nice.

 

Now as any couple yes we had our misunderstandings and all, it is a first serious relationship for both of us so understanding a man, for him understanding a woman and all that took some time. It for sure wasn't easy but we have worked through it all as we can't bear the thought of not being with the other.

 

We met through an online dating site and were exclusive pretty much immediately. During that time, I had a fall out with some of my closest girls. We were friends for 10 years, misunderstandings happened, arguments and all...pretty much I lost my entire core social circle in a short span. It hurt, a lot, but I was ok as I had a new relationship and things were going well there. I also had a great job offer come along my way and all of that was just good. So I guess I didn't let the friends thing get to me that much...I felt like I had to just do a reset at that time as so much other exciting stuff was happening in my life. He knows I had a fall out with them, but he hasn't ever really probed much on it as he says it is my thing and I have been ok not getting into details with him.

 

Well I do have other friends and do talk to many of them fairly often, but I guess it doesn't really feel like a real closeness. I know I have girls that I can talk to and they talk to me and all that, but I guess it is just different. I don't really have a best friend, other than I guess my sister, she lives out of town though. Right now, I would say my BF is my best friend, I share everything with him. But since I am not super super close with any friends, we don't hang out much. Maybe once every couple months I will have a plan with friends. Most of my free time, I will spend with the Bf, so we end up spending a lot of time with each other...which I never have an issue with as we enjoy each others company, but at times it would be nice to just sit and spend a few hours with some other friends too. He isn't much of a social butterfly either. His friends are all his cousins with the exception of one best friend that lives out of town. I do spend a lot of time with him, his sister and her husband, whom I love too...but its just different I guess. I don't know...

 

This weekend I went out with him and a bunch of people from his sister's side. We were drinking, dancing and having a great time...yes he had a few too many, which is fine. I have seen him in that state numerous times and he takes good care of himself and is loving and everything. But he started saying some very strange things. He said he doesn't get who I am, he doesn't understand me. He said he doesn't get how I am different with different people, I am someone with him, someone with his parents, someone with my parents. He said I don't know who your friends are...the little him and them have hung out he said I am different with them too. He said "tomorrow we get married, I don't even know who your bridesmaids will be". I told him, "every plan I have made to hang out with my friends he hasn't really been interested because he isn't too social, so I have always just left it", he didn't respond to that. He also said "I am not saying you are fake, but there is just differences in who you are with different people, I don't know who the real you is". Truth is, I speak with an accent to my parents and my sister, because that is how we have always spoken at home. I speak with an accent to his parents, because his parents have one too. With him I speak the regular Canadian accent as I would with my friends and as I do at work. It is just something that happens naturally with me and I have no idea how or why that does happen. I know that is what he meant, as he mentioned in the past how he found that strange. He said, "Babe it is not that I am unsure about you, I love you but I just don't fully get you and I really really want to". I really didn't know what to say, I just said "how come you never told me any of this...I don't see where this is coming from, I didn't realize it bothered you so much. Understanding and knowing someone comes with time and comes with experiences together...you love a person for the time you spend with them, for the values you share, for how you get along". I don't remember at what point, but he also said, "We are completely different people...and you know that too". Yes, I know we are very different in a lot of ways. But I don't think one can really find some that is the exact person or even have crazy similarities with. Any way, crappy night, we crashed at a friend's place. We woke up the next morning, he held me real tight and said "babe I hated our convo on the dance floor. I love you more than you know and I am really sorry for saying all of that". I asked him if he meant any of it...he said some parts yes, but in general no, he didn't. I asked if he wanted to talk about it, he said no he didn't want to talk about it as there is nothing to talk about. I left it and it didn't come up again and we had a great weekend together netflixing and just hanging out.

 

But yes I am still thinking about it...why...because it made me feel sad. Reason is my next issue. My parents and my sister are concerned as to why he hasn't proposed yet. They keep asking me why and he should just do it...and that I should be getting married this year. I continue to tell them it isn't going to be this year, maybe next summer. They said fine, but why isn't he moving forward, why isn't he proposing? My sister says she thinks he isn't sure that is why...though she lives out of town and has only met him about 2 or 3 times. There is just so much pressure and I have no answers for them...I have no idea why he isn't proposing. I can understand things take time and that is ok and that it will happen when it happens, they don't seem to get that. They say that there is really no point of waiting if you know. Yes, I know I want to spend my life with this guy, I know that he does too. But they say these things, he said these things in his drunken state and it makes me think maybe my family is right, is it really about time that he should propose? Yes, if he got down on one knee tomorrow, I would be ecstatic and I would say yes without a doubt in my mind. Thing with me and him is, he isn't much of a talker. Things with him are more implicit than explicit. While holding me real tight or just smiling and looking at me, he will out of nowhere say things like I can't wait to spend my life with you. Or this other time he said jokingly on something that happened, "you are really going to marry into a weird family" and we both smiled. We haven't sat and had a serious discussion, that yes me and you are going to get married in 2017...blah blah blah. It is more understood in actions and stuff he does...I have said it before to him things like when we live together...xyz...and he has always responded positively to that. My Dad the other day introduced him as his future son in law to someone, he did smile at me but I guess got a bit uncomfortable because like really...we aren't even engaged! I don't know why my parents are after my life for it!

 

But I am also pondering on what he said about how he doesn't know who I am and doesn't understand me. In all honestly, I don't know if I know who I am either. I know I am a good person, I care a lot for the people around me, I have a very motherly personality, I love my job and am good at what I do. But when it comes to what kinds of people do I get attracted to for even a platonic relationship, I have no idea. I don't know what kinds of people I would just fully click with or what my real personality is. If I were to do a personality test, half those questions I feel like my answer is an I don't know. I honestly feel like I don't know who my true self it. People say just be yourself, I don't know what that is. I don't ever feel fake or uncomfortable around anyone...but I still don't truly know who the real me is, I don't know how to figure it out even...

 

Oh geez...this is getting very long.

 

Some more problems about me...I have had a very protected and very different childhood. I know absolutely nothing about pop culture, sports, hollywood movies, english music artists or anything like that. My parents always wanted my sister and I to focus on school so we never really watched movies, tv or listened to music or did any reading. Pretty much you name any actor, movie or quote any line from a famous movie, I will have no idea what you are talking about. I have tried to do some reading now and know some about music as I try to listen to radio now but I don't know any classics at all. I can't name an Elvis song, haven't watched any of the home alone movies, or star wars or mission impossible or terminator or anything. These are just names I know. Don't know the actors or anything. I was mostly just exposed to movies and music of my culture and yes I do love them and a huge fan of those movies and music. Many times the BF will say something about a movie and is so shocked that I haven't watched it. He has now come to terms with my lack of knowledge for the most part, but I think maybe it does still get to him at times, hence the "We are so different" part maybe. I feel like it is really too late at this point in my life to really learn everything, Yes I do try to expose myself a lot more, but there is only so much I can do. A famous actor could walk by me tomorrow and I would have no idea they did.

 

I don't know, it is almost like I don't really belong any where. My social circle is limited, my family is on my case to get hitched like no tomorrow, I don't know what my bf wants, I don't know what my personal identity is and I just don't things about pop culture and almost don't care to know either.

 

I don't particularly feel depressed or anything. I laugh a lot and have many happy moments and I feel good over all. I just feel sad sometimes on days like today when I think about all this. Or also since my BF said all that, my parents again started asking me what is he waiting for and just everything else that is on my mind. I don't really want to tell my family things he said as I don't want him judged and they meet him pretty often so I want to keep that private, it is not fair to him for me to disclose these talks that we have.

 

Over all, I just don't know. I know a lot of you may say I should go see someone, but right now...funds won't allow it. I am paying off a car, have money being saved up for the wedding and all that.

 

I know the post is crazy long but I think any thoughts to anything you guys may have would really help me get some direction...in life...in understanding who I am and just where am I headed?...

[Gaeta]

I would not pay too much attention to what a man says while he is drunk. He was just mumbling. The fact you change accent when you are with different people doesn't mean you are someone different. You're still you with your same qualities and flaws. If I were you I would tell him this is how you are and you're not the only one doing this unconsciously. If he has doubts about you and your relationship then you're not holding him back, he can take a break from you to figure it out. What him change his mind !

[smackie9]

Why not expand your horizons and fill up on North American culture, try new things, listen to the music, watch some old movies, eat some crazy deep fried food at a carnival, get on a roller coaster, hit the slopes and learn how to snowboard etc.

 

Don't worry about what you BF said to you. I think it's a good thing to not be all figured out. It keeps you interesting, and never boring. Now be happy, make new friends and start really livin life.

[Mylife]

You are probably right, I may just be thinking too much. He loves me and respects and I should just keep it at that.

 

Good to know I am not the only one that is different with different people

[Mylife]

Why not expand your horizons and fill up on North American culture, try new things, listen to the music, watch some old movies, eat some crazy deep fried food at a carnival, get on a roller coaster, hit the slopes and learn how to snowboard etc.

 

Don't worry about what you BF said to you. I think it's a good thing to not be all figured out. It keeps you interesting, and never boring. Now be happy, make new friends and start really livin life.

 

Thing is, I don't know where to begin? Like is there a site where I can go and read up on things? Like a list of 100 things I should know? Or like a list of 100 movies I should watch?

 

Lol I do the roller coaster and carnival stuff, that I am ok with and have done tons off. It is more the pop culture that I know nothing about.

 

I wish he thought it was so super fun to have to figure me out...I feel like he expects to know me 100% before he gets down on one knee...

[Mylife]

I guess, in general guys I just need some validation that it is ok that he hasn't proposed yet right? I mean it really hasn't been that long and neither of us are concerned from an age perspective.

 

Every time my family brings it up it just makes me feel so uneasy and uncomfortable. I value their opinion a lot so I feel like maybe they are right...I don't know.

[Mylife]

Sometimes they just are I guess. Some days its just so beautiful that you don't want the day to end and then some days you just think to yourself like what the heck? That made you mad? And now you are going to upset at me for the rest of the day? Well, I get on your case and tell you to stop being mad and don't give you space, how the heck do I do that when I am feeling so crappy and just want to talk it out and get you back to normal ASAP!

 

Hey Guys, that was my rant. Here is the story.

 

Initially my bf used to buy me a lot of gifts, many random things for no reason, it was super cute and I loved it but felt bad that he was spending so much money. One day I said to him, babe I love these things, but you need to stop spending so much. I said it before I said thankyou or I love it or any of that to the item. He didn't appreciate that and said fine no more gifts ever! That happened in summer 2015 and lasted up to very early 2016. We had talks/arguments in the middle that I didn't mean no gifts ever, Bdays, anniversaries, Christmas is fine, but it was a nope, no gifts ever!! Finally, valentines day my gift was that he broke the rule, I was ecstatic! It went well, our 2 year anniversary happened in May he bought me stuff, I got him stuff, all was well.

 

Today I went out shopping was sending him pics of stuff I was trying on and all. He ended up at a mall too, went to look at something for me and sent me a pic of it saying he wants to buy it for me. I wasn't paying much attention as I was shopping and I didn't have much of a response and just Aww, but does it look good, blah blah. He just said forget it and didn't get it. Called me later and said that why didn't you just say yes, sure babe get it! I don't know because I was distracted? He says, forget it, no gifts is back, every time I try to get you something it just never works out any more. Really?? Now I called and texted and begged and said can you not be upset about something so petty? He said I am not upset I just want to be left alone. But I just don't know how to do that to be honest. I want to go see him and talk to him and tell him to stop being so immature! But I should give him space, I find that so difficult! How long do I wait before I talk to him? A few hours, a night?

 

So I wrote this story and writing it made me realize how stupid I am being on something so small!! Gaahhh. Maybe he is just having a bad day, but sometimes he is just so immature! And just so stubborn that I feel so sad about it. I tell him, it makes me sad, but it is a nope, no gifts, final! It is not that I want gifts, it is that he says it makes him so happy to pick out stuff for me but hurts him that he doesn't always get the response he is looking for. So he says he just doesn't feel like trying anymore. That part hurts me that he is not doing what makes him happy because of how I respond to it.

 

I am over reacting, I know, but he just goes so distant for a day or 2 when anything like this happens and its like talk to me, please!! I am 27 and he is 32, so I really feel like we can be a bit more mature.

 

I also have an issue with him not proposing and that has been on mind, will do another post on that I think, this ones long enough.

 

*sigh* I feel crappy. I am being selfish, I know life can be so so so much worse than this...but I wish a relationship could just be simple with zero ups and downs.

[Mylife]

I need perspective from men, but anyone with experience will help.

 

We have been dating a little over 2 years, I am 27 and he is 32.

 

I have told him straight out that I am ready, I have been for a while and that I do see us tying the knot next year summer. We don't live together, both live at home and will be looking for a place together if we were to get married.

 

He says he loves me, knows he wants to marry me, but is scared and next summer just seems way too soon! Scared of what our future will be like, scared of how much hand holding he may have to do, scared that I may not know how to run a household.

 

Yes, my cooking skills are weak as are my cleaning skills. I do what I can, but my mom just gets to it before I do. He on the other hand is a great cook and is beyond picky about cleanliness. Yes his Mom gets to it before he does as well, but he will do it when he cooks etc. He says he feels like I have so much to learn and he will have to teach me so much.

 

I know I will learn it and will do it when I have to, he says my confidence level is just so high and says I am not being practical. He says it is going to be really difficult and I said I know it is, but for some reason I am not scared, I feel like we will just figure it out, don't all couples? He says it is not that easy!

 

I am not good with directions, terrible in fact. He says us looking for a place together, what input will you have, what area do you want to stay in, you are so clueless about this things. Yes, that is true as all I know is I want to stay in the city, close to a happening neighborhood, close to a train station in a 1 bedroom condo. He feels like that cute excitement about a couple looking for their first place together won't be there as I won't have much input on the location or the price. My financial skills are lacking too so don't have much idea of the housing market, where it cheap/expensive etc.

 

He says before he starts planning a wedding he wants to change jobs, have a place picked out etc. in the next 12 months. I said both those things can happen in a few months if he actually starts doing something about it! He hasn't done anything and agrees that he is being lazy. It doesn't take 12 months!

 

Is proposing and getting married really that difficult? Are his concerns genuine? It makes me really sad to hear these things. I always thought that once a guy loves you he can't wait to just spend his entire life with you. Why am I not scared about it? I feel like it will be hard yes, but we will figure it out.

 

My family keeps asking me about it too, why is he waiting, should we talk to him? My parents, my sister are all having doubts about him saying that why hasn't he gotten down on one knee yet? Is he unsure about you? Tell him to let you move on if he is...its so hard to even think about that. I am not giving him an ultimatum! I don't want to force him, but I don't know what to do. My sister's husband knew after their first date and believes that if a guy knows, he just knows and never looks back! It doesn't take a guy so long, they don't ponder and wonder and think, they just do! So he may never be sure and will just keep you hanging, as per her. Can a guy be sure, but at the same time be scared and that holds him back?

[SammySammy]

Proposing and getting married is not that difficult ... when you're choosing the right person.

 

Nothing in your story suggest either of you would be a good marriage partner.

 

Wanting to get married and needing to be married are two different things. I don't think you two need to be married.

[frus69]

Excuses like "she cant cook very well" "she cant tell directions" are weak. He doesn't want to marry you, probably will never be ready to marry you. He cant even give you any legit reason! Stuff like "you don't know how to clean" is just laughable.

I think you should walk away don't waste your time if you want to get married

[lana-banana]

A guy who still needs another year after two years already is unlikely to propose, period. I could understand if he was in dire financial straits and it was purely about the money, but he seems to be making excuses for why he won't marry you. In fact it sounds like he doesn't think you're suited to a long-term partnership at all---dinging your cooking and cleaning skills, calling you clueless, saying your problems with directions makes you unfit for a committed relationship*---it sounds like he has one foot out the door. If these things really bothered him so much he wouldn't have dated you for two whole years. At this point he's just trying to find reasons to postpone indefinitely. The only thing this guy is sure about is that he doesn't want to marry you. That's reason enough to walk. Have some self-respect and pursue a partner who will treat you as an equal, not an Eliza Doolittle who has to be molded into their ideal companion.

 

* = This is just hogwash. If being directionally challenged is a reason not to date someone, I should have never had a boyfriend ever. I can't even go to sleep without getting lost.

[Mylife]

So difficult to read these comments, I am in tears.

 

Guys, the love, the compatibility everything is there! Our families are great, they love each other and us. We have the same background, the same values, the same religion, the same culture, same future plans. He doesn't ever mention anything along the lines of leaving. We talk about our kids that we want to have and how we want to look after our parents when they are old.

 

There is so much beauty in our relationship, but yet there is this pain that he just isn't taking the next step.

 

I don't want to leave him, ever. Just the thought is beyond painful!

[sin miedo]

A guy who still needs another year after two years already is unlikely to propose, period.

 

Oh come on, that's definitely a generalization. Some men take longer than others, especially if they're young. I certainly wouldn't propose to anyone after only two years.

[AndOrchid]

I will try to give him the benefit of the doubt and see it from his perspective.

 

What culture are you from? Is it typical for people from your culture to live at home until you get married? Is there any possibility to live with your boyfriend before marriage?

 

Although I agree that some of his reasons for not feeling ready to marry you are just excuses, I also find it a bit weird for a 27 year old to not know how to clean? Does your mom clean your room?

 

Also, are you expecting him to do all the work in planning for your future? You're saying that it doesn't take 12 months to plan for a new job and a new place but what are you doing to move things along? Why not start thinking about where you might want to live instead of just having a wish list and saying you are a clueless about the market, etc?

[VeveCakes]

He implemented a "no gift" rule.

 

This person needs to age about 10 years before he will be mature enough for marriage.

[ExpatInItaly]

He is nowhere near ready to get married. Not to you, not to anyone. He sounds very immature for 32.

 

The reasons he's giving you - about being able to keep up a house and not being good with directions (???) - are excuses.

 

Tell your family to quit putting the pressure on you, and do not let them talk to him. I don't know your cultural background, but you need to draw some boundaries here. Also, I have to ask - is culture a factor as to why he is still living with his parents at the age of 32?

 

Scanning through your previous threads, you seem very insecure and unsure of yourself OP. You are worried about not "knowing" enough for him, generally not being good enough for him, and so on. You need to value yourself a heck of a lot more.

 

You know where he stands. He flat-out told you a proposal isn't happening any time soon. All you can do now is decide if you want to hang around and hope he changes his mind. Personally, I wouldn't.

[spiffyfox]

lol OP, you and I sound a lot alike! I barely have any close friends, hang out with friends less than once a month, and also live at home with my parents. And I'm 24. I am directionally inept and I don't know how to clean or cook either... at least not deep clean anyway. I've never scrubbed a toilet in my life! I made an account just to post here because I thought of something while reading this.

 

What if the reason he won't propose is because he is worried about moving out on his own and doesn't want to admit it? I mean think about it. You both are used to your parents providing for you.. and getting married would mean that you two are both out on your own, which neither of you have ever done before. I know how it feels to not want to move out until you're ready - especially when you have a job making less than 20 dollars an hour. Life is scary and expensive!

[lana-banana]

Oh come on, that's definitely a generalization. Some men take longer than others, especially if they're young. I certainly wouldn't propose to anyone after only two years.

 

My apologies, I articulated that poorly. What I meant is a guy who doesn't know if he wants to marry you after two years is unlikely to propose at all. It doesn't take two years to figure that out. And this guy is 32.

[Toodaloo]

I can't name an Elvis song

 

This is a major problem...

 

Go out buy some Elvis. Your life will change forever. As an Elvis fan I can not fathom a world with out the king... I too was a late bloomer. You are forgiven.

 

Go out watch movies, read books, listen to all sorts of music. Go to the theater, go to art displays, learn to dance.

 

Find your own opinions.

 

Take time away from your boyfriend to develop who you are and what you want from life.

 

The problem is that you hardly know yourself. Yes you may know the basics but you can't turn round and say "Urgh I hate Green Day that song they did about that thing was just so annoying" (Green Day should be added to your music to sample list by the way - they are great!)

 

Or that movie was so touching when he went to meet her and she wasn't there and then he discovered it was because she couldn't walk but he still loved her... (I know you have no clue what I am talking about but trust me... you will again - it needs to go on your list - "An affair to remember" by the way. You can thank me later).

 

Or he was so on fire in that rugby match it was like he was in the Matrix or something. Again you have to learn what this actually means.

 

Watch a film called "Coming to America". At the beginning Eddie Murphy is introduced to a very beautiful woman that his parents had chosen to be his wife. He asks what she likes and her response is "Whatever you like"... You are that woman. Watch it, you will understand what I am talking about.

 

I know it hurts but this guy is NOT going to marry you. He is trying to figure out how to break up with you. He doesn't quite understand it but he does know that something is missing in your relationship.

 

Instead of seeing this as a disaster see it as an adventure. Learn new things, watch movies, try different foods, try new sports, explore the things that you enjoy and like. Be yourself and discover who you are. Then when time is right you will meet someone new and it will be better. You will be more confident. You will be better able to make decisions, and the new guy you have yet to meet, will snap you up and put a ring on that finger before you get a chance to run away.

 

This guy you are with now is never going to do that so you need to start saying good bye and building your life. At the moment its just bland, forgettable, a sea of nothingness. Inject some soul into your life... Enjoy what there is out there. Because there is a heck of a lot more to life than just one man.

[tinkerbell16]

I need perspective from men, but anyone with experience will help.

 

We have been dating a little over 2 years, I am 27 and he is 32.

 

I have told him straight out that I am ready, I have been for a while and that I do see us tying the knot next year summer. We don't live together, both live at home and will be looking for a place together if we were to get married.

 

He says he loves me, knows he wants to marry me, but is scared and next summer just seems way too soon! Scared of what our future will be like, scared of how much hand holding he may have to do, scared that I may not know how to run a household.

 

Yes, my cooking skills are weak as are my cleaning skills. I do what I can, but my mom just gets to it before I do. He on the other hand is a great cook and is beyond picky about cleanliness. Yes his Mom gets to it before he does as well, but he will do it when he cooks etc. He says he feels like I have so much to learn and he will have to teach me so much.

 

I know I will learn it and will do it when I have to, he says my confidence level is just so high and says I am not being practical. He says it is going to be really difficult and I said I know it is, but for some reason I am not scared, I feel like we will just figure it out, don't all couples? He says it is not that easy!

 

I am not good with directions, terrible in fact. He says us looking for a place together, what input will you have, what area do you want to stay in, you are so clueless about this things. Yes, that is true as all I know is I want to stay in the city, close to a happening neighborhood, close to a train station in a 1 bedroom condo. He feels like that cute excitement about a couple looking for their first place together won't be there as I won't have much input on the location or the price. My financial skills are lacking too so don't have much idea of the housing market, where it cheap/expensive etc.

 

He says before he starts planning a wedding he wants to change jobs, have a place picked out etc. in the next 12 months. I said both those things can happen in a few months if he actually starts doing something about it! He hasn't done anything and agrees that he is being lazy. It doesn't take 12 months!

 

Is proposing and getting married really that difficult? Are his concerns genuine? It makes me really sad to hear these things. I always thought that once a guy loves you he can't wait to just spend his entire life with you. Why am I not scared about it? I feel like it will be hard yes, but we will figure it out.

 

My family keeps asking me about it too, why is he waiting, should we talk to him? My parents, my sister are all having doubts about him saying that why hasn't he gotten down on one knee yet? Is he unsure about you? Tell him to let you move on if he is...its so hard to even think about that. I am not giving him an ultimatum! I don't want to force him, but I don't know what to do. My sister's husband knew after their first date and believes that if a guy knows, he just knows and never looks back! It doesn't take a guy so long, they don't ponder and wonder and think, they just do! So he may never be sure and will just keep you hanging, as per her. Can a guy be sure, but at the same time be scared and that holds him back?

 

Hi My Life, his behaviors do sound immature for his age. Expand your horizons, work on a healthy balance. Join a ballet class, take an evening class in a subject you are interested in growing in. You will meet new people then and foster personal growth. Your world revolves around him, he knows it and he is too comfortable with you. He belittles you here and there and that eats away at your confidence and self worth. Don't allow it. Stand up for yourself. When he says you aren't a good cook tell him you aren't looking to open a restaurant! He sounds like he doesn't value you enough to marry you. Once you realize you ARE valuable you will spark that feeling in those around you. Work on you. When you expand your interests and social circles you will feel more complete and become less needy and he will appreciate you more or he will be immature and you can see his true self... always best to know this BEFORE you decide to marry. Remember you should be choosing him.... its not about saying yes to the one who asks

Edited June 14, 2016 by tinkerbell16

[Gaeta]

Shameful from a man of 32 yo. He is not sure 'you're the one' that's why he keeps postponing. When people really want to get married there is no job, cleaning skills, or Elvis music keeping them from going ahead with it. Your character, honesty, integrity, make you good marriage material not your cooking skills.

 

You worship him because you're in love. You may think you are this perfect couple because on paper you have same same values but in day to day life is he not even 'nice' or 'considerate' to you.

 

Better jobs don't make better marriage. Better people make better marriage.