unluckie Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 Girls, how do you indicate interest to guys? Guys what is a clear signal to you that a girl is interested and what is 'low interest' to you? When it comes to guys I'm interested in dating, I just can't pull the moves or physically get the words out. I have guy friends, colleagues and have no trouble having amazing conversations with them. This extends to guys I am attracted to. But when it comes to moving this up to the next level, indicating interest I can't do it and I have no idea how to change this. Take today, a colleague from a totally unrelated department invites me to lunch. It was a date hang out in my opinion as we had barely spoken before and he asked if I wanted to go somewhere 'fancy'. We had lunch and at the end of it, nothing! What could I have done to indicate that I would be open to a 'real' date? I wasn't interested in a proper date with him, but I thought I would act all flirty to see if I could pull it off! But nada. The main deal is I have a friend I am attracted to. I think he was interested a year or so back, but the last couple of months he has cooled off dramatically. From regular phone calls and most of the instigating to nothing. I have not heard from him in a month and even that I was the one who cracked last month and called him. If I hadn't done that it would have been even longer since we talked. I fear that even though I was interested I may not have given clear signals as he never asked me out on a romantic date. I am aware I may be too late but figure life is too short and I should just tell him I would be open to a romantic relationship with him. BUT I know I will not be able to do it. I will pych myself up and then not be able to go through with it. We have been hanging in the past and I have thought, this is it. I'm gonna tell him today. But when it comes to it I literally cannot get the words out. How do you guys get over this? Either the telling, or breaking the touch barrier or whatever it is to strongly indicate romantic interest?
todreaminblue Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 i think fear is healthy to have....to me it means that you care....so in light of that ...i would say to you no matter how you are feeling just tell him......its what i do ....i am not a flirt...if i try to flirt it comes across as awkward...and quite geeky......nearly all of the time i dont have to ask a guy or tell a guy i like him or that i am interested in getting to know them...because the guys i go out with whom i do like are strong minded individuals and they ask me out..i admire that and respect that... if i have to make a first move i do it with fear because it is unusual to me.....but i still ask...i dont feel the urge often to tell a guy i am interested unless i really am and he would have to be pretty special for me to step up.......and thats the point i guess........you only ever have to say it once...its either yes or no....pretty black and white...... so just tell him how you feel and what you want, that is my opinion.... embrace your fear...and step up..best wishes.....deb
Author unluckie Posted February 3, 2016 Author Posted February 3, 2016 I do get guys asking me for coffee and stuff but somehow it always ends up being a friend date. I figure it must be me doing something wrong.. I too like confident men but somehow they never lean in for the kiss or use the word date. It's always in that ambiguous area - the 'what is this deal'. And the 'this' almost always ends up being friends.
smudge21 Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 As a guy who never knows when is the right time to make a move, it's refreshing to hear that girls also don't know this. I don't know what the definite answer is as everyone is different and reacts differently to others. I guess if you are attracted or want more then the obvious sitting closer and the odd contact always helps. There's also little pauses at times when you're close or looking at each other. It all comes down to confidence I suppose (I'm not one for believing it should always be the male who makes the first move) and whether you feel it's right at the time. Personally, if a girl said she'd like to see me again just off the bat then that would be the ultimate green light, even better if she showed some confidence and mentioned places to go and when. To hell with the idea that women shouldn't ask the man out. If you want something, go get it. You only ever regret the things you don't do in life.
d0nnivain Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 Do you lean in for the kiss? If you want a guy to kiss you, stand too close to him, stare into his eyes, flick your gaze to his lips, lick yours & go back to his eyes. Think kiss me, kiss me, kiss me & bat your eyelashes, while smiling shyly. 1
smackie9 Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 Guys just don't grab you and make out with you.....you have to be flirty, all smiles, give him compliments, etc. If you don't bring on your sexual energy, to then you are just another girl. You want them to think of you and want to see you again. 1
Erdbeere Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 I give compliments when I feel the urge to. I say flirty things about any pic's they send me. I say thanks when they do something nice. I laugh, smile and hold eye contact a lot. I focus my attention on them. I dress for dates especially for them.
AMJ Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 Do you think you're desirable? When people have a hard time escalating it's usually due to their own self-confidence. If I think I'm desirable, it's easier to tell when a man is interested, and it's easier to welcome his interest, and show mine...idk. What makes it easier for people to be less afraid/inhibited? Alcohol. Otherwise, I agree- lots of flirting from you, eye contact, laughing, etc. Men need reassurance that you want them to make a move. About your friend, just tell him you're interested. You barely talk anyways, so it's not like you're very close friends. Sounds like you have nothing to lose. It also sounds like he's dating someone else since he spent time pursuing you and you didn't show interest.
Qboro90 Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 I wouldn't come right out and tell guys "I'm open/interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you" or anything of that nature. That's too forward and lacks the etiquette in which goes with attraction and dating. When someone you work with asks you out to lunch during your workday you can expect anything to occur that would progress a romantic interest at all. Why? Because it's a work relation. He's not going to kiss you and then go back to the office. That's risky and could cost people their jobs. How would he know u would want to kiss him anyways? How would he know you won't go tell your friend back at the office even if you did like him and Kiss him back? That's just not going to happen. What you can do however is when you're in situations like that, at some point say "so the work date was good, maybe text me this weekend and we can try it without having to go back to the office afterwards :)". Something to that degree just so he knows it's ok to reach out and contact you about getting together outside work. As for the guy friend who you feel is distant lately. Send him a text "hey stranger! Where have you been?! Feels like we haven't talked for such a long time... What's going on" (if you want to add "I miss you" at the end that's fine to do also, your call)
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