shyguy3543 Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 I've hung out with a new friend a couple of times (1st time by ourselves we got some dinner at buffalo wild wings and watched football, 2nd time we got dinner with a group of my friends) We've got plans to go snowboarding this weekend. Assuming we have a good time and I can toss in a bit of flirting and it seems to go well, I was thinking of asking her out on an actual date so she knows my intentions and I don't wind up in the friend zone. Would using Valentine's day as a way to bring it up be better or worse? Like: "What have you got planned for valentines? Oh, nothing? I'd love to take you out on a date" OR Would it be better to just ignore the fact that Valentine's is coming up and say something like: "I had a good time today! Before you go, I was wondering if I could take you out on a date next time" I know this is just silly overthinking, but hey, if one is likely better than the other and anyone can think of a reason why, it can't hurt to ask Thanks!
spiderowl Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 I would say ignore Valentine's Day. That's a day for the special person in your life. At this stage, neither of you know whether you are going to be that person. Try to say something and plan something for earlier than Valentine's Day. You can always do something special on the day itself if things go well 2
Versacehottie Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 I agree with spiderowl for a different reason. Ignore Valentines day because you are seizing the moment to ask her on a date after snowboarding--the way you worded the one that is not for a valentines day date is great. I think you can squeeze in a real date before valentines day and then assuming things will go great, you can take her out on valentines too. I think the valentines thing as your first option is a little contrived for anyone--but if she likes you it won't matter and this is just my opinion not necessarily how she feels about it (in regards to v-day). I think you are showing her she is special by being stoked on your excitement about her so much that you are asking her out--just her and you, no special day necessary. Valentines is usually kinda stiff--especially for newly dating and a restaurant with 50 other couples doing the same thing. good luck--sounds like she likes you too! 1
Author shyguy3543 Posted February 1, 2016 Author Posted February 1, 2016 Thanks for the input!! I'll stick to that And I'm hoping she does! It's been a very friendly kind of feeling to our relationship so far, but I'm always a bit reserved when it comes to flirting and hinting that I like someone and she's pretty shy. I'm hoping that if I come out and make it clear what I'd like, she'll be on board with it! 1
preraph Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 I'm wondering why you don't consider this snowboarding as a date. Is it a group thing? Don't do Valentine's but see if you can take her out before and maybe find out her situation. She may have plans for that day -- or not. 1
Versacehottie Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 It seems like you've been slightly dating, especially if you've done a couple of things alone. Now is the time to make it clear. I'll bet she likes you
Author shyguy3543 Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 Why not ask her out this Friday? I'm gonna on Saturday when I see her. (fingers crossed it goes well lol) I'm wondering why you don't consider this snowboarding as a date. Is it a group thing? Don't do Valentine's but see if you can take her out before and maybe find out her situation. She may have plans for that day -- or not. It is just gonna be the two of us. I think that makes it have a date-like vibe to it, but I've been in situations like this where I don't make it clear enough that I want us to be more than friends and then when I try to make a move or say I'd like to take them out to dinner, they'd say "I thought we were just hanging out and being friends!" I'm hoping I can put an end to that trend. It took over my 2015 dating life. I'm sorry...but: knitty-gritty? hahaha. I know. It's an old expression. I don't use it normally. It seems like you've been slightly dating, especially if you've done a couple of things alone. Now is the time to make it clear. I'll bet she likes you I'm really hoping so! For what it's worth, this all started when she messaged me randomly one night in mid-December suggesting that I should join her and the rest of the kickball team next time they hang out (I'm the new guy on the team). The following week, I went to delete my OkCupid account and found her on there. We spoke a bit over Facebook messenger, then met up for wings and football at a wing joint. Then we made last minute plans last week when she texted me asking if I watched the football game. I told her I was about to be the 5th wheel with some of my friends (2 couples) and that she should come and join me and be the 6th wheel. She agreed and we had a good time. She liked them, they liked her. I texted her around midweek of this past week suggesting snowboarding this coming Saturday (we had spoken about it in the past). She seems really excited about it! The biggest thing I've noticed is that shortly after making the plans, she took down her OkCupid account. I think it may be a good sign! Unless it means she's now seeing someone else and is working on that and I'm totally deep in the friend zone, but hey! Let's not think that. 2
road Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 I've hung out with a new friend a couple of times (1st time by ourselves we got some dinner at buffalo wild wings and watched football, 2nd time we got dinner with a group of my friends) We've got plans to go snowboarding this weekend. Assuming we have a good time and I can toss in a bit of flirting and it seems to go well, I was thinking of asking her out on an actual date so she knows my intentions and I don't wind up in the friend zone. Would using Valentine's day as a way to bring it up be better or worse? Like: "What have you got planned for valentines? Oh, nothing? I'd love to take you out on a date" First bold: you should of ended that evening with I had a great time lets do a date next Saturday. Second: Made the skiing a date. Third: Its 2/2 and you want to wait to 2/14 to ask her out? Unbelievable! No better way to be friend zoned then to move slow. At the rate of speed you are moving she is going to be married and with two kids and a dog to some man that had the balls to ask her out before she can be taken off the market.
Author shyguy3543 Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 First bold: you should of ended that evening with I had a great time lets do a date next Saturday. Second: Made the skiing a date. Third: Its 2/2 and you want to wait to 2/14 to ask her out? Unbelievable! No better way to be friend zoned then to move slow. At the rate of speed you are moving she is going to be married and with two kids and a dog to some man that had the balls to ask her out before she can be taken off the market. You're probably right. :/ But, let's see... The skiing idea came up on the first night we went out to eat. I would've probably tried to hint more (or just come out and say) that it'd be a date but I felt the night was kind of just to break the ice. We were on the same team in the fall and we spoke maybe once or twice in the whole season. Also, I was a bit discouraged by the hugs I'd gotten both nights we hung out. I went in for a good hug, but both times she gave me a loose hug with one arm. I don't know if she likes me or not! haha it's a tricky one. Usually I can tell (with all my friend zone experiences last year, they all told me that they did like me, but thought I just wanted to be friends. I guess I should pick up the pace a bit to avoid having that happen, but the cues and hints have been pretty weak so far. Ugh!
Author shyguy3543 Posted February 8, 2016 Author Posted February 8, 2016 Just to give you guys an update, snowboarding on Saturday went well. We were both exhausted and achey, but had a good time. When I dropped her off afterwards, I suggested we make our next meet up a date. It went something like this: Me: Before you go, I know we're pretty much just getting to know each other, but I was thinking we should make it a date next time we meet up. Her: Yeah, that sounds great. I like you. Let's do it! Me: hahaha. We hugged again and that's that. I wasn't sure whether to bring up the conversation at the end because the snowboarding trip did feel pretty date-like to me but I figured it's best to make it clear that I want to be more than friends. Now onto the next step!! 1
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