ktragers Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 I've been on a lot of dates but this is new territory to me - is "not feeling well" usually a legit case or just another excuse for people to get out of a date? I've personally never experienced anything like that until recently. I met someone on one of those dating apps and normally I really can't take anything developed in this route seriously because I feel like the apps are not even a website where you have to fill out a profile, and most guys are just on there looking for a hookup. Anyway, this guy seemed conventional, genuinely interested in a normal conversation to get to know each other, and was pretty good with keeping in touch so we decided to meet up for a drink. We went to one of those open areas where people just stand around and chat among a big crowd. The first date was fine in that we seemed to get along well, had a lot to talk about, and shared a few laughs. But toward the end I noticed that he seemed a bit distracted that he'd constantly look around the room and was almost fidgeting a bit. He also didn't even finish one small beer. Pretty soon I asked if he's okay and he said he'd had a light headache the whole evening and his stomach was not feeling too hot either. At that point I already felt like leaving anyway (I like to keep first dates short and light) so I said why don't we get out of here. So we did and walked back to the subway. He kept saying he'd normally be much more outgoing if it weren't for the headache, etc., and when we parted ways he said let's do a raincheck. Well, since I'd never experienced a guy telling me that he's not feeling well on a date, I really couldn't tell if this guy was just trying to find an excuse to ditch a "bad date" or if he was legitimately in pain. He did get in touch the next day, though, saying hello and apologizing about the night before, explaining it was not his usual self ... in the meantime keeping the conversation going, chatting about our plans for the day, etc. I really can't tell if he was still faking it but I didn't want to accuse him of anything either. I basically said it was okay and whatever it was it provided a natural break that I'd prefer the first date to be light anyway. Any insights? Is it too early for me to write this one off yet?
SwordofFlame Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 I would think he was legitimately sick. If he was faking it, he wouldn't have contacted you the next day. If he asks you for another date, he was definitely not faking it. 6
Maggie4 Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 I would believe him. I always thought men like to appear strong and healthy, so they don't tend to lie about being ill, which might make him appear of a weak constitution. Maybe it was diarrhea, but headache sounded better. 1
losangelena Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 Men are big babies when they're sick (the ones I know, anyway). My ex one time had been quite busy at work, so on Wednesday he announced that he couldn't see me until the weekend. So, the weekend rolls around and he comes to my place and we go on a nice date. Half-way through, he starts to have a pretty wicked allergy attack, sneezing and runny eyes and dripping nose. I get those too sometimes and they're awful and I get so cranky, but he was like 10x worse. He announced at a certain point that he wanted to go home, so we left, he dropped me off at my house and went home alone. Felt better in a couple of days and things went back to normal. So yeah, I think, especially because he circled back around, it seems legit in his case. 1
Philosopher Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 From what you say, there is no way to tell. He could genuinely have been sick, or he could have just used it as an excuse to end the date early. If he is anything like me he will try to communicate quite soon with you if he likes you. The best thing to do is to wait and see whether he gets in contact with you. If he likes you he will send you a text or possibly even call you. If after a couple days you have not heard from him then it probably is time to write him off.
losangelena Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 From what you say, there is no way to tell. He could genuinely have been sick, or he could have just used it as an excuse to end the date early. If he is anything like me he will try to communicate quite soon with you if he likes you. The best thing to do is to wait and see whether he gets in contact with you. If he likes you he will send you a text or possibly even call you. If after a couple days you have not heard from him then it probably is time to write him off. He already did get in touch though, apologizing. 1
Author ktragers Posted January 31, 2016 Author Posted January 31, 2016 Men are big babies when they're sick (the ones I know, anyway). My ex one time had been quite busy at work, so on Wednesday he announced that he couldn't see me until the weekend. So, the weekend rolls around and he comes to my place and we go on a nice date. Half-way through, he starts to have a pretty wicked allergy attack, sneezing and runny eyes and dripping nose. I get those too sometimes and they're awful and I get so cranky, but he was like 10x worse. He announced at a certain point that he wanted to go home, so we left, he dropped me off at my house and went home alone. Felt better in a couple of days and things went back to normal. So yeah, I think, especially because he circled back around, it seems legit in his case. Haha interesting story. I would agree that men are big babies when they are sick. I also feel that men get tired more easily than women - My ex would be totally beat by 10 or so in the evenings and granted he had a tough job but I was a busy woman too. I used to see a lot of couples on the subway going home from a sports game, where the women were excitedly babbling while the men were almost falling asleep.
Author ktragers Posted January 31, 2016 Author Posted January 31, 2016 I would think he was legitimately sick. If he was faking it, he wouldn't have contacted you the next day. If he asks you for another date, he was definitely not faking it. Yeah him getting in touch the next day calmed my mind a little bit but I'll see if he wants to go out again. I wasn't feeling a spark or giddiness after the first date but I didn't exactly notice any big red flags either, so I'm thinking I'll just go with the flow.
katiegrl Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 I would believe it was legit ...especially since he called the next day. In fact, I would go even further to say kudos to him for making the date in the first place -- being that he did not feel well! Do you know how many people would just have cancelled? He must have really wanted to meet you! 1
Versacehottie Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 Men are big babies when they're sick (the ones I know, anyway). OMG, so true!!! At least with all the ones I know too!!!
Ami1uwant Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 I eould believe him here....he may not have been 100%. If you guys had dinner he could have set something that wasn't the best to eat.
basil67 Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 He didn't finish his small beer? This is truly SICK. Poor guy 1
Redhead14 Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 I've been on a lot of dates but this is new territory to me - is "not feeling well" usually a legit case or just another excuse for people to get out of a date? I've personally never experienced anything like that until recently. I met someone on one of those dating apps and normally I really can't take anything developed in this route seriously because I feel like the apps are not even a website where you have to fill out a profile, and most guys are just on there looking for a hookup. Anyway, this guy seemed conventional, genuinely interested in a normal conversation to get to know each other, and was pretty good with keeping in touch so we decided to meet up for a drink. We went to one of those open areas where people just stand around and chat among a big crowd. The first date was fine in that we seemed to get along well, had a lot to talk about, and shared a few laughs. But toward the end I noticed that he seemed a bit distracted that he'd constantly look around the room and was almost fidgeting a bit. He also didn't even finish one small beer. Pretty soon I asked if he's okay and he said he'd had a light headache the whole evening and his stomach was not feeling too hot either. At that point I already felt like leaving anyway (I like to keep first dates short and light) so I said why don't we get out of here. So we did and walked back to the subway. He kept saying he'd normally be much more outgoing if it weren't for the headache, etc., and when we parted ways he said let's do a raincheck. Well, since I'd never experienced a guy telling me that he's not feeling well on a date, I really couldn't tell if this guy was just trying to find an excuse to ditch a "bad date" or if he was legitimately in pain. He did get in touch the next day, though, saying hello and apologizing about the night before, explaining it was not his usual self ... in the meantime keeping the conversation going, chatting about our plans for the day, etc. I really can't tell if he was still faking it but I didn't want to accuse him of anything either. I basically said it was okay and whatever it was it provided a natural break that I'd prefer the first date to be light anyway. Any insights? Is it too early for me to write this one off yet? Why write him off? Why think about it at all. It's just one date. Why not just sit back, go on with you life and observe. The guy did call you the next day. If it really were just an excuse, I doubt he'd have called you. If he really wasn't feeling well, let it play out a couple of days. He's sick, he's probably not going to set anything up right away. Just wait it out. If someone else asks you out, go out. 1
dispatch3d Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 Call the next day makes him seem interested. Keep on trucking!
preraph Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 No way to be sure, but just be sympathetic and understanding and give him the benefit of the doubt, and see if he recontacts you. In this case, not sure I'd text him asking how he is in case it was a blow-off. He knows where to find you and if he' was really into you, of course, he'll contact you soon.
Kofybean Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 I've been on a lot of dates but this is new territory to me - is "not feeling well" usually a legit case or just another excuse for people to get out of a date? I've personally never experienced anything like that until recently. I met someone on one of those dating apps and normally I really can't take anything developed in this route seriously because I feel like the apps are not even a website where you have to fill out a profile, and most guys are just on there looking for a hookup. Anyway, this guy seemed conventional, genuinely interested in a normal conversation to get to know each other, and was pretty good with keeping in touch so we decided to meet up for a drink. We went to one of those open areas where people just stand around and chat among a big crowd. The first date was fine in that we seemed to get along well, had a lot to talk about, and shared a few laughs. But toward the end I noticed that he seemed a bit distracted that he'd constantly look around the room and was almost fidgeting a bit. He also didn't even finish one small beer. Pretty soon I asked if he's okay and he said he'd had a light headache the whole evening and his stomach was not feeling too hot either. At that point I already felt like leaving anyway (I like to keep first dates short and light) so I said why don't we get out of here. So we did and walked back to the subway. He kept saying he'd normally be much more outgoing if it weren't for the headache, etc., and when we parted ways he said let's do a raincheck. Well, since I'd never experienced a guy telling me that he's not feeling well on a date, I really couldn't tell if this guy was just trying to find an excuse to ditch a "bad date" or if he was legitimately in pain. He did get in touch the next day, though, saying hello and apologizing about the night before, explaining it was not his usual self ... in the meantime keeping the conversation going, chatting about our plans for the day, etc. I really can't tell if he was still faking it but I didn't want to accuse him of anything either. I basically said it was okay and whatever it was it provided a natural break that I'd prefer the first date to be light anyway. Any insights? Is it too early for me to write this one off yet? No way, he is definitely not into you. Clearly he was faking it. Men simply never get sick, and if they do, they always see it through it. Good for you to question his serenity, as all too often men tend to use "illness" as a reason not to see a date the entire way through. You should delete his number, facebook, IG, snapchat, and leave a burning paper bag on his door step. I mean, if he got sick on your date, imagine what will happen in the future? I imagine since you clearly received numerous reasonable answers to your question, there was no harm in a bit of sarcasm. I think the questions on this site are a bit much for me today.
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