jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 So I met this really handsome/cute, funny, intelligent man online and we decided to meet for dinner and drinks. Things went really, really well and we both had a great time. He walked me to my door, gave me a hug and asked if I'd like to get together and go out again sometime. I said I would like that. Then he said he'd call. The next day he actually called, and we had a great conversation for about twenty minutes or so. He asked again if I'd like to get together. So I asked him to let me know what his schedule looked like. He said he's pretty open, but didn't offer to set a day to meet again. So I sent him an email, thanking him again for dinner and the fun evening, and suggesting to him that if he would like to go out again, he's got my info. He replied, and said that yes, he does have my contact info. But again he didn't suggest a specific day. I'm sort of frustrated, and wondering if perhaps he's ambivilent or if I've been tossed into the category of "back up girl". Any thoughts? Oh, and by the way... I know he's sort of an old fashioned kind of guy, in that he likes to pick up the check on the first few dates and do the chivalry thing (this is what he told me)....which is why I didn't ask him outright for a specific date.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 At this stage, I'd say the jury is out - I don't see enough information to tell. It could be that he's slow at taking such decisions. Or pacing himself. Or it could be that he had already arranged another date online and he feels duty bound to give this girl a fair chance, even though he's starting to like you. Or he may be in 2 minds about you or using you as his back up girl. Only time will tell. In the meantime, try not to dwell on it too much and enjoy the ride. Old fashioned or not, if he keeps faffing, I'd try and pin him down. One way or the other.
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 8, 2005 Author Posted June 8, 2005 Yes, of course, you're absolutely right. I'm not really all that worried, but I do like him a lot and am very attracted to him and would like to see him again, even though I have a date with another guy this Thursday. I guess I always hate this stage of dating. All the wondering about intentions.......very frustrating.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken I'm not really all that worried, but I do like him a lot and am very attracted to him and would like to see him again Good luck!
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 9, 2005 Author Posted June 9, 2005 He called again today, and emailed as well. We talked for a good half hour. He was really sweet and asked if I would call him later and I said I would. But again...no suggestion to meet again. I'm starting to get the feeling that there is someone else who he might be seeing and is just making sure to keep in contact with me in case things don't work out with her. Meanwhile, I have a date with this other guy tomorrow night who I'm not all that crazy about. He's attractive and nice enough, but is a bit more shy and humorless than I like. I am afraid that I might be the one to have to tell him that the chemistry just isn't there.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken I'm starting to get the feeling that there is someone else who he might be seeing I'd say this is quite likely. and is just making sure to keep in contact with me in case things don't work out with her. Don't be so sure. A gentleman doing multiple first dates has to pick his way quite carefully to do the right thing for each of the girls. If he is a true gentleman, he won't keep you hanging around as a back-up - he still thinks there's a realistic chance with you. Meanwhile, I have a date with this other guy tomorrow night who I'm not all that crazy about. I am afraid that I might be the one to have to tell him that the chemistry just isn't there. Guys are not girls. He won't be crushed if you say "hey, I've had a great time, but there's no chemistry between us". Don't stress, just enjoy the evening in its own terms, as a friendly night out - you may be surprised. If he's a good and decent guy, but no chemistry, offer to set him up with one of your friends who you think would be a better match for him.
Author jen_jen_heartbroken Posted June 9, 2005 Author Posted June 9, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo If he is a true gentleman, he won't keep you hanging around as a back-up - he still thinks there's a realistic chance with you. OH GOODY!!! I mean, I definitely get butterflies when I talk to him. Actually, when he called last night...most likely when he was on his way home from work.... he said he was calling because he wanted to know why I hadn't responded to his email from the day before (I did, but it was late evening and he hadn't checked his email yet). So, yes...something does tell me that he enjoys talking with me and would like to see me. I'm thinking that perhaps his weekend is already tied up (mine is too, with previous plans with my friends), and that may be why he hasn't brought up another date yet. I dunno. I just know I realllllly like this guy and reallllly want to see him again.
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