Dating a mother, toddlers misbehavior highly tolerated

[Alamo657]

i dont know what im asking, just venting i guess.... but i appreciate any thoughts

 

Both parents need to agree with you interfering in the education of the kids for it to happen.

 

What you have to understand tho, is that if you disagree on how a child should be raised, and it creates arguments, then you have to leave the relationship, there is no other way.

[bender1]

He is just a 3 year old of course

 

This is the first year of his brain making realizations of course

 

She does put him in time out but only when its shocking behaviour

 

Its just not happening enough there needs to be more IMO the inbetween less minor bad behavior is being dismissed

 

And then she wonders why he cant be taken out in public

 

The child is controlling the adult. The adult has no reign. And that to me is revolting to watch and will only get worse

[TaraMaiden2]

He is just a 3 year old of course

 

This is the first year of his brain making realizations of course

 

She does put him in time out but only when its shocking behaviour

 

Its just not happening enough there needs to be more IMO the inbetween less minor bad behavior is being dismissed

It really is of no relevance what your opinion, view or handle on the matter, is.

You don't HAVE a say.

 

And then she wonders why he cant be taken out in public

That, as his parent, is her problem, not yours.

 

The child is controlling the adult. The adult has no reign. And that to me is revolting to watch and will only get worse

Yup.

But as you aren't even in the frame, let alone the picture, it's nothing you need get your pants in a pickle, over.

[bender1]

Touchy tara dont get too sensitive

 

Sorry i didnt put a full stop on that sentence

 

As a role model, and someone who he adores, im in full right to be a mate and explain the difference between right and wrong, im not parenting the kid.

 

He bashed his 1 year old sister and then kicks her plate of food all over the floor so i put him in time-out ok, get over it

[TaraMaiden2]

Touchy Tara, don't get too sensitive.

 

Sorry I didn't put a full stop on that sentence.

 

As a role model, and someone who he adores, I'm in full right to be a mate and explain the difference between right and wrong, I'm not parenting the kid.

(Fixed it all, for you... )

Only if the mother has told you you have that right. You cannot, should not and never should assume that right solo. And by explaining the difference between right and wrong - you are exactly 'parenting the kid'.

 

He bashed his 1 year old sister and then kicks her plate of food all over the floor so i put him in time-out ok, get over it

Why, after everything everyone has already told you, advised you and revealed to you, do you still insist you are right and everyone else is wrong?

Kind of stubborn aren't you?

Life is give and take, and being open to correction when appropriate.

Something you are taking it upon yourself to teach this child, and something evidently your parents forgot to teach you.

[bender1]

Ok so i wont teach him how to kick a football properly

 

Hes doing it wrong but best not teach him the right way, best ask his parent first, dont wanna educate the child that would be awful.

 

Omg somebody else has taught my child something. Omg call family welfare centre!!!

[TaraMaiden2]

Ok so I won't teach him how to kick a football properly....

 

He's doing it wrong, but best not teach him the right way; best ask his parent first, don't want to educate the child - that would be awful....!

 

Omg somebody else has taught my child something....! Omg! call family welfare centre!!!

 

Well, I'll say this. You are consistent in your persistent deafness....!

[bender1]

Hey sweetie your son just bashed your daughter before

 

I just stood there im not allowed to correct the situation. I think your daughters still on the floor hurt and crying but me and your son we just kept kicking the footy because im not permitted to take responsibility of the situation. Im not permitted to tell him what he did was wrong so we just kept kicking the footy and had more fun yay!!!

 

Is that better tara. Is ridiculous enough to satisfy you

[LookAtThisPOst]

Your GF is doing the correct type of parenting and as a parent myself if I ever was to find myself going thru a divorce and my soon to be ex was to let a BF discipline my child I'd take him out to the wood shed and show him what fer...

 

Sounds like a lose-lose situation. If an unruly brat is impacting me and my life somehow, that kid WILL be getting an "knock it off!" from me if he/she starts acting unruly.

 

I'm the new boyfriend, so I should have SOME say in the matter as this woman would be part of my life. Now, I wouldn't be the one to discipline the child, but I WILL not put up with that crap.

[bender1]

Sounds like a lose-lose situation. If an unruly brat is impacting me and my life somehow, that kid WILL be getting an "knock it off!" from me if he/she starts acting unruly.

 

I'm the new boyfriend, so I should have SOME say in the matter as this woman would be part of my life. Now, I wouldn't be the one to discipline the child, but I WILL not put up with that crap.

 

Yea man exactly. These little creatures cant even wipe their own ass but we hav to kneel and muzzle ourselves whilst they torment and mutilate everyones day?

 

Phht as if. Wont stand for bs.

[upnorth]

It doesn't sound as though you two were dating very long if you are in still in a stage of trying to one up each other in banter trying to appear " cool"....so I'm a bit confused as to why you are already spending so much time with the children? but to each their own, and that's not the concern here.

 

As other posters have said, you do not have the right to discipline someone else's child unless they have given you permission.

 

To a parent, there is nothing more annoying than a non parent with such strong views of discipline.

 

I mean, a non parent can talk for hours about how they may potentionally discpline theoritical children, but most parents know once you are in the trenches things can change.

 

You really did over step a boundary. You not only disciplined someone else's child without permission, you also did so by placing your hands on them.

 

I would be shocked if she was willing to spend time with you again. I think you know you are in the wrong and trying to justify it with your strong views...you are looking for validation, obviously it's on your mind, despite the fact you say you won't see her again.

 

Also, you have the right to discipline your children however you see fit. Obviously, you and this woman have different views on that, so....what's the issue? You're not right for each other. These kids are really young, they're going to be around for a long time.

 

I don't think a single mother is going to change the way she runs her household due to a fling from tinder hauling her son off to the bedroom. I am only guessing you met that way due to alluding to the length of time and her meeting someone else..if I'm mistaken, I apologize.

[William]

Apparently, the toddler doesn't have the market cornered on misbehaving, hence we'll provide this timeout.