bree Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 OK, let me start off by saying the background of this; this guy I've known for almost over a year now, we tried to date (but that didn't go well). we used to be really close...now we're just friends, but He says if he ever wants to get things done he has to spend less time with me. And he said I just seem like a job to him ever since we first met...this hurts really badly. He and I used to be such good friends. And i don't understand why he can't be there for me any more. He says he just wants me to be happy, and last week he asked "do you think we could make each other happy" I dunno if he was suggesting anything. I haven't heard from him much since...he disappeared for three days and said a lot has been going on. no phone calls, but then again we're just friends so I wouldnt expect to get one now. So what am I supposed to do? confronting him will probably just make everything worse. i can't imagine coming up to him and asking him why he can't be there for me... I would come off as totally scary, and even more work. I don't want to be like that. Hope this doesn't sound crazy
JanieQP Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 No Bree, it doesn't sound crazy. But I don't understand what you expect / hope from him. Could you explain that a little more thoroughly, please? What does "being a friend" or "being there for someone" mean to you?
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Sometimes, you outgrow your friendships and its time to move on. The reason it was seeming like a job was because he realized he was investing all this time and effort into a girl who was never going to date him. So, what's the point in staying 'friends'? It sounds like he was harboring some feelings for you, and when those feelings ran completely out and he realized that there was no hope of dating you - he was left with a girl that he really only wanted to be friends with because he had feelings for her. Once he let those feelings go, there was really no need to be friends anymore - and he made his break. we tried to date (but that didn't go well). we used to be really close...now we're just friends Just let him be. You can't make someone want to be friends with you, particularly when it was never really 'just friends' he wanted to begin with, from the sounds of it and by saying just a week ago: "do you think we could make each other happy" Its pretty apparent he still has more than 'just friends' in mind. If you don't want to date this guy, just let him go.
Marshbear Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 He wanted more from you but realized that things weren't going to go that way so now he is with drawing from the friendship. He never really wanted to be just your friend. You will have to let him dictate the terms of your relationship. If he wants to stay in touch then talk when he wants to but if you see him less and less then he is trying to break away and you need to let him do as he feels he must. Do not confront him, it will not help and might make things worse. Follow his lead. Speak if he does and leave it as that. Peace...
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