Jealousies

[stepht]

So, my now ex boyfriend and I had previously been best friends for a year before we started dating. Would talk every day, and it was strictly platonic. I found out he had strong feelings for me, and then eventually it became mutual, and we started talking as more than friends. He would tell me how happy he was and how he daydreamed of being with me and dating me and he was honestly just so sweet about it and I was pretty happy because I had someone that loved me unconditionally. 6 months later he breaks things off with me because we're at a party together and we can't seem to be able to speak to one another. The breakup was pretty brief (a week?) and then we were back together. another month later we pretty much mutually ended things because we both had been busy over the summer and hadn't been able to see each other, and I didn't have strong feelings then. couple weeks later, we see each other again and begin talking and this time it is so strong and so stable and both of us were completely in love. there were no issues until his best friend (girl) of middle school began wanting to become close to him again. they would have sleepovers (alone and in bed with each other), he would have sleepovers w multiple girls and he would have group sleepovers that I was never at because we had different friends. despite this, I knew that he only had feelings for me and he kept trying to tell me that it was only me for him. which was true, and his best friendship was strictly platonic. but it didn't stop me from feeling so jealous and feeling like a boundary had been crossed even in a friendship and I would make comments like are there more boys there or are you guys alone and all of that. he began to get angrier and angrier as time went on, because he felt like I didn't trust him despite his constant telling me that they were friends. I knew that, but it just still got to me. he dealt w it for a while, saying that he wasn't going to change for me and I understood that and didn't want him to. I just wanted things to tone down a bit because I felt like I was second to his best friend. not to mention, she joined the sport team that we're both on and spend most of our time together on and he tried to get a job with her. all of these little things just pushed me over the edge as well as him and he stopped trying to communicate his feelings and would begin to ignore me when I asked any questions or said things that he didn't like. like, flat out ignore me in person and give me dirty looks until I said sorry. one time, he got angry that in an important situation where my friend wanted me to be with her I went with him instead and told him after that maybe I should have chosen her over him that night. he took it as I put my friends over him and that prompted a big ignoring phase that only stopped when I said sorry. besides this, there were no problems. both of us loved each other unconditionally and there was just that disconnect- I stressed communication and his type of coping was ignoring me. so one day, I heard from a friend that he was trying to get a job with his best friend, and I freaked out and said I'd prefer if you didn't try to get a job with her. this prompted two weeks of ignoring me and eventually him saying the fact you couldn't trust me to get a job with a friend hurt me, and I don't know if I can ever feel the same way about you again. but, he completely disregarded my uncomfortableness and never asked if I was okay and would say I would be fine if you did the same (but I never did because I never had the desire to). everything just turned into a mess and basically I apologized to him and his best friend and regardless he didn't even want to make it work. broke it off with me over the phone, and for the next couple days had sleepovers with his girl best friend and didn't talk to me all despite being platonic. the thing is, we were perfectly fine the day before any of this stuff happened. the day I mentioned the job was a day I was going over to his house and everything. he wouldn't speak to me and ignored me and he seems to break things off when there is a problem in the relationship. everyone around him seems to think we've had a lot of issues, but in reality they were all fixable and silly, and he just hasn't been mature enough to see it. I see him every day and it's so difficult because he pretends that I don't exist and says he doesn't care if we're friends or anything and hides his emotions extremely well. despite the sound of all of this, we really were so so happy together despite this issue. I even tried to resolve it and apologize and be mature about it, but he couldn't even consider it for me. I feel like anyone would understandably be a little uncomfortable. I tried to be and dealt with it for awhile, but it just would get so uncomfortable because he felt like he could do anything and have me not care simply because of our strong bond. what does anyone think about this? we've gotten back together in the past and people are telling me that he'll probably see in the future just how stupid it was to break things off because he chose to simply have no friendship boundaries with his best friend over keeping his girlfriend. was I in the wrong? we clearly had such strong feelings for each other but he said he got too stressed out and needs space. he makes pretty rash decisions and when issues arise he chooses to avoid them. he even told me that he values his happiness above all others (including my feelings) and I feel like he's been being so immature and threw something very good away even though it didn't even have to be this way.