How to flirt in group setting?

[sportygirl89]

This will be the first time I won't have girls around the guy I like. This is as close to alone as I've been able to get. Still will have some other guys present. But I guess better than having girls around to compete his attention with.

[Versacehottie]

This will be the first time I won't have girls around the guy I like. This is as close to alone as I've been able to get. Still will have some other guys present. But I guess better than having girls around to compete his attention with.

 

Well, I'm just going to say that the dynamic is clearly in your favor! It's funny that you think of it as only removing the competition (other girls). One of the best things about a situation like this is if it is only you (one girl) and a bunch of guys, he who has the ability to grab your attention is on a high. I've seen it many times. It's so simple, it's scary.

 

As for the "type" or how to flirt, the only thing I would specifically recommend is no over-the-top stuff. It's not necessary and cheapens the moment. The subtle flirting OR basically tying your positive flirting IN RESPONSE to stuff he does/says is best. If it's not tied to HIS stuff or is over the top overt flirting, it can backfire or give impression that you are desperate or easy. Also make sure your interactions with the other guys are clearly "friends" and that his is special/attraction/flirty. That will typically make a guy feel really good--it means, to him, that he has beaten all the other guys to getting you! Which is actually how you should view this situation INSTEAD of that other girls won't be around (of course that's a factor but a girl worth having doesn't need to be jealous or threatened by other girls--or at least give that impression).

 

Good luck!

[Stereotypical11]

Be you is most important but I'd say

- dress to impress comfortable but sexy and smell sweet

- be fun and confidence is key

- don't show him all the attention let him see other guys are into you, the more attractive you are to other guys the more you'll appeal to him

- depending on who he is but most guys like women who make the first move touch his arm lightly when you talk or lean in and whisper in his ear

 

Most importantly if you've got nothing to lose go for it and if he's not interested it's his loss not yours x

[Versacehottie]

Be you is most important but I'd say

- dress to impress comfortable but sexy and smell sweet

- be fun and confidence is key

- don't show him all the attention let him see other guys are into you, the more attractive you are to other guys the more you'll appeal to him

- depending on who he is but most guys like women who make the first move touch his arm lightly when you talk or lean in and whisper in his ear

 

Most importantly if you've got nothing to lose go for it and if he's not interested it's his loss not yours x

 

Yes, this is right (bolded). That would be what I consider over-the-top. You need to be desired by the other guys, attention-wise or more and his efforts are the ones that are paying off.

[sportygirl89]

So seating arrangements didn't exactly work out in my favor, which I guess is fair when guys he is close with are present. However a friend of his said posted it was the best night he had. So I guess even though I didn't get a chance to talk to him I guess I got his attention since I set up the whole thing. Now how to get him alone so we can talk?

[Versacehottie]

So seating arrangements didn't exactly work out in my favor, which I guess is fair when guys he is close with are present. However a friend of his said posted it was the best night he had. So I guess even though I didn't get a chance to talk to him I guess I got his attention since I set up the whole thing. Now how to get him alone so we can talk?

 

did you guys take any pics that evening--even as a group? If so, just send him one and say, last night was a lot of fun--I'm so glad you came out. As the person who set up the whole thing, that sounds like a confident and leader type of thing to do. And put an open ended question in there so he will answer back and then when he does, tell him something like "too bad we didn't hang out more that night, you're funny or whatever is appropriate in light of what he says". Point is you want to plant a seed so that he has the idea of hanging out with you closer or alone. And then keep banter via text or messaging going. Expand the friendship with flirty, playful tones and get closer to him so that you are in more regular contact. Even if you didn't take a pic that you can forward to him, you can still do the same: thank him for coming out. As the person who organized the night, you again are in the perfect position to do this. It's a great reason to contact someone. Good luck

[sportygirl89]

did you guys take any pics that evening--even as a group? If so, just send him one and say, last night was a lot of fun--I'm so glad you came out. As the person who set up the whole thing, that sounds like a confident and leader type of thing to do. And put an open ended question in there so he will answer back and then when he does, tell him something like "too bad we didn't hang out more that night, you're funny or whatever is appropriate in light of what he says". Point is you want to plant a seed so that he has the idea of hanging out with you closer or alone. And then keep banter via text or messaging going. Expand the friendship with flirty, playful tones and get closer to him so that you are in more regular contact. Even if you didn't take a pic that you can forward to him, you can still do the same: thank him for coming out. As the person who organized the night, you again are in the perfect position to do this. It's a great reason to contact someone. Good luck

 

 

He said it was a once in a life time opportunity thing. Its just so depressing we have never been able to be alone. But did bond well with the family that came along with that he's close with.

[Versacehottie]

He said it was a once in a life time opportunity thing. Its just so depressing we have never been able to be alone. But did bond well with the family that came along with that he's close with.

 

well I'm not sure that I'm understanding the whole context but if it was a once in a lifetime thing, even more reason to send a pic as a momento or send a little message bonding over that comment. I do hear a tone of defeatist kinda thing between the lines of your posts. You have to turn that around and look at the positives. and build on the positives as opportunities. A to Z doesn't usually happen overnight. You just have to do the baby steps in between and since you don't know how he feels about you, you are only in control of what you can do to bring you two closer. That's good about the family--but two things, be careful about depending too much on how great your relationship is with them as a sign of what will happen with him--ultimately it will depend on just the two of you and your chemistry, even if he likes you a lot because of them that could just turn out to be friends; secondly, if you use the bond with them to build on stuff with him then chances are you won't be alone with him any time soon, they will be there too. So you have currently the perfect opportunity to bond with him separately with him--due to having an enjoyable night, with a once in a lifetime opportunity that you arranged. You just have to leap out of your comfort zone a little bit a presume a slightly closer connection than you actually have. People do this all the time. Girls that generate a lot of dates themselves tend to do this. Be bolder than you usually are but friendly that way no one feels uncomfortable. Actually it helps to just think of it as making a new friend to alleviate any panic you have about contacting him or feeling like you are out of bounds for doing so.

 

A friend of mine is a pro at this. Actually I think she tends to presume too much closeness, too quick but that's another story! But what I have to say about observing her doing this is it almost never backfires--it doesn't necessarily result in a bf BUT it does create a base from which that can evolve. Just lower the stakes in your head. I actually think on this site when guys want a girl to initiate first they really ideally meaning something like this. In other words, if you are a little clearer on your interest toward him and get to the halfway mark by reaching out, they can take it the rest of the way. Just put yourself in his shoes. He may have no idea you are interested. He may not want to cross a line since you are a family friend (or some version of that). He may be pondering exactly how to develop something with you that is separate from the group. This is about as good of an opportunity as it gets!!! There is a legit reason for contact right now; I would say you have from today til about thursday to be in contact about a saturday night event--without looking like you have been brewing and gathering up courage or obsessing over him. Just do it in breezy, confident, friendly tone--same as a girl who would organize a night out, which is pretty impressive in itself. It will totally fit since he probably doesn't know you that well and that you might be shy.

 

I think the comment alone that it was a once in a lifetime thing could potentially have been his way to try to create more of a bond with you. I guess it could have just been something people say but in no way does it sound like he would be opposed to contact from you. You are sure he's single, right?

 

Ok, feel free to PM me if you don't want to say the details of the event on the thread but that it might help to get some more context and I can help you think of something to say. Good luck.