amberjadej Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 (edited) Once I love the person, it's almost impossible for me to walk away. Like seriously. The only thing I can think of that would make it a no brainer would be physical abuse/cheating. With my relationship that just ended, I wanted to get married at some point (not to him, not at a certain time, just in general). He said it was a possibility but that he didn't know for sure and thought he probably wouldn't want to get married in general. He was engaged a few years ago for four years and she cheated and he says it opened his eyes to what a bad idea marriage is. I want kids in the future, he 100% doesn't; he's planning a vasectomy actually. We are on totally different ends of the spectrum with religion and what we believe. Multiple reasons for me to have walked away and I didn't. My only "plan" was that hopefully somehow it would work out (logically I knew it probably wouldn't but I didn't want to believe that. I chose to ignore it and pretend it'd all work out somehow). Ironically, none of that's why we broke up... it was because of schedule differences and not being able to see each other often during the next two years. I would've potentially sacrificed things I wanted (not sure, I might have left but I really loved him and I'm not sure what I would've done). WHY?! Why is SO hard for me to walk away from a relationship with someone I love? It can't be normal! Even now, realizing all the reasons he's not right for me, I can't help but wish he and I could get back together and work out. Don't get me wrong, if I didn't like the guy it'd be easy. Edited January 30, 2016 by amberjadej
Wuku Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 I understand. Once I fall for someone, that's it. I can't see a way, other than you mentioned, that I would dump them. I always seem to think things will get better, and that if you love someone enough you can overcome anything. I don't hold grudges, and tomorrow is always a new day, so arguments that people have that cause break ups, I don't find that serious. It should be done and dealt with, and I don't understand carrying things on. But I know I'd go through almost anything (and just have) to keep a relationship going if I love that person. I just don't give up, but In the end though, I'm the one who gets dumped. Then it takes me ages to get over it. I'm not sure most people are like that, as you say.
Alias80 Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 I'm the exact same way! I never end relationships. Even when I know they are wrong I hold out for something to get better. Multiple times I have dumped a boyfriend because I knew it was not going to work out - only to turn around and take them back hours later when they ask. And in all those situations after I take them back....I end up being the one who gets dumped. Then I'm depressed for months over a guy I knew was wrong for me in the first place! We do sometimes torture ourselves the most dont we!?
Learningtowalkagain Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 I'm the same way, I know how it's going to end (not well), yet I hang on, because I love the person. It's partially a psychological disorder called repetition compulsion. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil-deeds/200806/essential-secrets-psychotherapy-repetitive-relationship-patterns
Author amberjadej Posted January 31, 2016 Author Posted January 31, 2016 Well it's good to know I'm not totally alone! And yes, because of me doing this, I do get dumped more... And then I over analyze and agonize about the relationship and am super sad.
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