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Struggling with insults


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Posted (edited)

Has anyone had trouble forgetting things their ex has said. My ex called me narrow minded , judgmental, bitter, neurotic. I can't shift feeling like a bad person. Sometimes he would say he also thought i was caring /had amazing qualities. He called me judgmental as I made a comment one time about his friends probably not being dressed up to go to a club (they were in tracksuits).

 

Deep down I don't think his insults are true but I have low self esteem. My ex seems to want to punish me. I feel like an unlovable person.

Edited by Heatemyheart89
Posted

The problem with people who know you well is that they also know your biggest insecurities and exactly what to say to get under your skin. The people you want in your life are those who don't use that knowledge against you.

 

A bit of constructive criticism isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if it is said in the heat of the moment to hurt you then that is crossing a line.

 

If you know it isn't a true reflection of your character then keep reminding yourself of that. Fight those negative thoughts and remind yourself of all your good qualities. You are lovable.

 

I know it may not be easy, but focusing on the positive things will become a habit. It just takes time and practice.

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