em88 Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 i called my exbf yest after 5 days of NC in order to straighten things out and move on. i did this because 1) we broke up without talking about it. it just impulsivly happened 2) we will see each other everyday in school next month 3) we will be working on a project together in about 2 weeks time i told him that after 10 months together, we owed it to each other to talk, get everything out in the open so taht things wouldnt be awkward and so that we could slowly become friends. he answered back saying, "there is nothing i have to say. there is no point." all this after we never even talked about the breakup, why it happened, or anything. and i made it clear to him it wasnt because i wanted to get back together, just beacuse i felt that after 10months, we owed it to each other to talk and be civil about things. why are guys like this? (sorry, dont mean to generalize) ive been thinking...is it because they are incapable of thinking or feeling? is it too much for them to deal with? i didnt think he would shut me off like that after all we had. he was never like that to me. ever. it was a totally different side. i know many of you may say, he is just moving on. but i think that since the breakup wasnt because of something unforgivable, beacuase we will be seeing/working with each other in future and because i think that i deserved a talk after an impulsive breakup and after 10 months --he owed me that talk. or are guys just like that? believe me, ive told myself not to dwell. i am moving on. and i have accepted all of this. it just boggles me that he had such a change of character and just shut off.
outdated Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 It's not time for that talk yet. The dust hasn't settled. He is probably still confused like you are. Just because someone breaks up with you doesn't mean it isn't hard and confusing for them as well. People jump the gun, people are rash. They deal with feelings first and reality later. Wait and don't contact. If you need answers in the future, seek them then. He is obviously not ready to talk about them and maybe hasn't filtered them in his head either. If it matters, the day will come. Until then, work on yourself and not him.
Author em88 Posted June 8, 2005 Author Posted June 8, 2005 thanks. the thing is, i know him. and frm his past gfs i know how he is going to deal with it. just basically move on, forget it and not deal and talk. i know we will see each other soon. and i guess i just have to accept the how he deals with things and try and move on frm there.
miss-gonewest Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by outdated It's not time for that talk yet. The dust hasn't settled. He is probably still confused like you are. Just because someone breaks up with you doesn't mean it isn't hard and confusing for them as well. People jump the gun, people are rash. They deal with feelings first and reality later. Wait and don't contact. If you need answers in the future, seek them then. He is obviously not ready to talk about them and maybe hasn't filtered them in his head either. If it matters, the day will come. Until then, work on yourself and not him. Yah OK, I really see your point here... I was in the same situation as Em, and then today I get a random text message asking if he can still help me in a tipping competition I am in at work. Hello!??? No hi, no how are you... the dude kicked me out of his house telling me he never wanted to speak to me again, now he wants to be my tipping buddy? What is he trying to achieve? What does he want???
Marshbear Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 My ex was like that in the fact that she would never talk about it and just shut me out of her life totally after 2 years. I broke off the relationship but I told her exactly why I had to and I wished her the best and that we could still be civil to each other. Well, she wouldn't discuss it or have any contact period. It hurt for awhile but I realized I never really knew her and the person she was becoming was not somebody I want to associate with. Sometimes people just do not want to talk about the past and just want to avoid you and not deal with anything. It is best to let it go and realize that you are much better off without this person who don't even recognize. Peace...
Author em88 Posted June 10, 2005 Author Posted June 10, 2005 My ex was like that in the fact that she would never talk about it and just shut me out of her life totally after 2 years. I broke off the relationship but I told her exactly why I had to and I wished her the best and that we could still be civil to each other. Well, she wouldn't discuss it or have any contact period. It hurt for awhile but I realized I never really knew her and the person she was becoming was not somebody I want to associate with. Sometimes people just do not want to talk about the past and just want to avoid you and not deal with anything. It is best to let it go and realize that you are much better off without this person who don't even recognize. thanks. i guess thats good advice. it just hurt that after 10 mnts, he wasnt willing to keep things civil and clear everyhting, esp since we will be seeing each other alot in the future.
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