Should I forgive her?

[Mr Blunt]

By Michael

The only reason why I didn't kick her out was because as soon as I dug up this useful piece of info I left the apartment and went to my parents' so that I wouldn't be alone through these hard times. I'm having suicidal thoughts but I also have a great family and I think that with their help I'll pull through.

 

Your wife has severely damaged herself and will never recover 100%.

 

 

ONLY CONCENTRATE ON YOU GETTING BETTER WITH ALL KINDS OF HELP.

 

 

Your wife may try and contact you so that she can try and hold on to what she has from you. Her emotional actions maybe way too much for you right now and you will need people that will be a source of strength not a source of great pain. Get IC and all other help and if no contact with your wife is best then make sure you follow that advice. Your wife is extremely sick and you are emotionally sick so you know that two sick people cannot cure each other.

 

 

Your great family can be a huge support and you can recover in time. I know you can because I did.

 

 

It maybe natural for some men to think they are a loser but you will have to trust those that really love you that know that you are not a loser. Your emotions are shattered right now and you need to be around people that lift you up and RUN RUN from those that will bring you down (your wife).

Make sure that you get help for your suicidal thoughts immediately as you are extremely important and cherished by your family.

 

 

You can have a good life again so hold on to that truth!

[drifter777]

Stay with your parents for a few days during this time of crisis. On Monday call a divorce lawyer and start the process. Have absolutely no contact with her. If she tries to contact you just hang up and block her number or simply walk away. The sooner you harden your heart and dump her the sooner you begin to heal.

Edited January 30, 2016 by drifter777

[Satu]

I will divorce her...I don't think I'll ever be able to move on though.I don't even know if I ever want to be in a relationship ever again.

 

You will move on, and you will have another relationship.

 

Nature will see to that.

 

It will take some time.

 

For now, what you need is healing and a good lawyer.

 

Get the evidence off her laptop asap.

 

 

Take care.

Edited January 30, 2016 by Satu

[Spectre]

First of all,I'd like to thank you for your responses.You guys are wonderful!

 

I'm definitely going to divorce her because thanks to your posts I thought to check her laptop,phone and so on.She indeed deactivated her Ashley Maddison account but that was her plan..like....I asked her to reactivate it and I went through her personal messages.It is true-she's been seeing other men too,even sent them inappropriate pictures and videos and texts.She is a whore.Over the last 4 months she's slept with at least 7 men,most of them if not all have been here at home where she finally admitted to have slept with them in our bed which proves that she indeed did much more than BJs.I'm honestly on the verge of a mental breakdown.The only reason why I didn't kick her out was because as soon as I dug up this useful piece of info I left the apartment and went to my parents' so that I wouldn't be alone through these hard times.I'm having suicidal thoughts but I also have a great family and I think that with their help I'll pull through.Maybe I should've kicked her out because I pay the bills,I'm the provider and Come to think of it she got her AM account using my money.I'm such a loser to be honest.I don't even know if I love her any more.In the beginning of our marriage our sex life was great or so I thought...now all of a sudden...this happens...I don't know why,I don't understand it.I didn't expect this from her-a woman who at first glance doesn't look like a cheater at all.

 

Dude, do not kill yourself over utter trash. Your wife is a ho and now you know(hey that rhymes).

 

Though buddy, she should of been kicked to the curb over the BJ alone. Looking further into it shouldn't of been necessary. It's not like sucking 1 guy is better then her sucking 5, she still blew some guy in your home.

 

I'm so glad you got this trash out of your life. Also yes kick her out! You pay the bills, she deserves nothing. She can go stay with her Ashley Madison friends.

[aliveagain]

I read somewhere that A/M's business is down something like 80%. Your wife must be in hot demand, she's must be a big part of the 20% of their business that's left. I think it would take a special kind of woman to sign up with a company that has had that much negative publicity about members being at risk of public exposure. I guess that is all part of her lack of respect for you, seriously, who brings strange men they just met on a hook-up website to their home? I think most married men would choose to meet at a motel rather then take a chance at meeting the husband while he's in the middle of banging his cheating wife in his bed. These men must be the real risky types, just my opinion.

[sowhatwedonow]

Hey. F** k no.

[TrustedthenBusted]

I'm such a loser to be honest.

 

 

I thought the same thing about myself at first. And it took a while to get over that. It's easy to assume that you must be a loser, and somehow less than all these other morons your wife was meeting up with.

 

But really... THEY are the losers. They are the ones trolling the internet for vulnerable, and morally bankrupt married women. They are the ones risking a beat-down for an indiscriminate piece of bootie who probably caught cooties from the 6 dirty applicants right before them.

 

THEY are the ones who lied, cheated, and had to go to YOUR home, because they couldn't go to their own, or afford a hotel like a normal cheater.

 

And SHE is the biggest loser of all. Her house of cards just crumbled, her lies exposed. Her gig...over.

 

And do you know who the winner is?

 

That's right, buddy. You.

 

You discovered it all, and now have the power to call the shots, and move on with the kind of clarity only the ****storm of infidelity can give people.

[HereNorThere]

It's refreshing to hear that their are still people out there that have principles. There are a lot men around here who would have taken the WS back and enabled them to do it again and again.

 

You're a strong person and I respect that. Whether you know it or not, you have helped a lot of people by sharing your story. It sucks you had to go through it, but maybe you can help someone else have the courage to leave an abusive relationship. Being cheated on is bad enough, but the amount of hell people go through to "reconcile" with a serial cheater is much worse. If you don't believe me, I encourage you dig a little deeper on the forum.

 

You'll have no problem finding someone worthy of your love. Strong men are attractive to women and you've shown your strength. Try to stay positive and take care of yourself.

 

Godspeed

[Bryanp]

You would only be a loser if you did not divorce her.

[Spectre]

Also just realize how sick this is. She didn't just get contacted by a former boyfriend and have a fling. She didn't go out drinking and end up having a ONS. She specifically signed up to a site meant for cheating. She went OUT OF HER WAY to betray you. That is a sicko, plain and simple, a sick individual with no remorse for her actions. Have you ever seen your wife get a deep cut on her skin, and spot some metal underneath? Is there a chance you married a skanky terminator?

 

It's refreshing to hear that their are still people out there that have principles. There are a lot men around here who would have taken the WS back and enabled them to do it again and again.

 

Yep, you see this here TIME and TIME again and I've really noticed it is men more likely to take a female back for cheating. At least that is how it seems on this forum. Or rather, it seems like it is the men who are more willing to accept utterly disrespectful behavior time and time again.

[higgsboson]

Forgive her or not, there is a 70% chance that she'll cheat again.

Can you live with those odds?