Just because you're attracted doesn't mean you should date him/her

[LookAtThisPOst]

I think sometimes a lot of people get caught up in bad relationships because they let their attraction overlook the serious character flaws in other people.

 

I recall a woman who liked me a lot, but being the kind of person that winds up getting to KNOW the person in a group setting through some of these Meetup events, she had some behaviors I found to be a turn off. She tends to trend heavily a lot at events and the smell of Vodka reeks from her by the end of the evening.

 

I mean, I could have easily took her home and had my way with her, but just not how I am wired. I have a female friend of mine that was fixed up with a real redneck, he smokes like a fiend and she's telling me she can't stand cigarette smoke and smoking is usually a deal breaker for her, but...she claims to be attracted.

 

I said, "Just because you're attracted, doesn't mean you should date them."

 

Do you think this is how all of these relationships get off to a bad start from the beginning? People are letting their attraction trump common sense?

[thecrucible]

I said, "Just because you're attracted, doesn't mean you should date them."

 

Do you think this is how all of these relationships get off to a bad start from the beginning? People are letting their attraction trump common sense?

 

Maybe that is the case. Or perhaps they are not looking for anything serious anyway so they don't spend much time thinking about long term compatibility? I'm with you. I could never date someone just because I found them physically attractive. There would have to be more to it.

[Alamo657]

I think sometimes a lot of people get caught up in bad relationships because they let their attraction overlook the serious character flaws in other people.

 

I recall a woman who liked me a lot, but being the kind of person that winds up getting to KNOW the person in a group setting through some of these Meetup events, she had some behaviors I found to be a turn off. She tends to trend heavily a lot at events and the smell of Vodka reeks from her by the end of the evening.

 

I mean, I could have easily took her home and had my way with her, but just not how I am wired. I have a female friend of mine that was fixed up with a real redneck, he smokes like a fiend and she's telling me she can't stand cigarette smoke and smoking is usually a deal breaker for her, but...she claims to be attracted.

 

I said, "Just because you're attracted, doesn't mean you should date them."

 

Do you think this is how all of these relationships get off to a bad start from the beginning? People are letting their attraction trump common sense?

 

By following your reasoning, all the people with a flaw in their character or a minor incompatibility should be social outcasts avoided by the opposite gender.

 

Sure, you can "wait" for the "perfect match" forever, but you might not ever see this rare gem in your lifetime, or it won't be available for you.

 

So, let people date who they wanna date. Enough with the sanitization of relationships !

 

Unless someone kill kittens at night with a sadistic smile on its face, that person deserves at least a try for the remaining 95% of its personnality which can make up for the minor problems.

Edited January 29, 2016 by Alamo657

[LookAtThisPOst]

By following your reasoning, all the people with a flaw in their character or a minor incompatibility should be social outcasts avoided by the opposite gender.

 

Sure, you can "wait" for the "perfect match" forever, but you might not ever see this rare gem in your lifetime, or it won't be available for you.

 

So, let people date who they wanna date. Enough with the sanitization of relationships !

 

Unless someone kill kittens at night with a sadistic smile on its face, that person deserves at least a try for the remaining 95% of its personnality which can make up for the minor problems.

 

Hey, they can do what they want. But if they complain about this person's behavior, I don't feel sorry for them.

 

I'd be like, "Hey, you got yourself into this, might as well start the launch count down..." lol

 

The said woman, who later found a boyfriend asked me, "How come you never had a crush on me?" and I was like "Um, why are you asking me that?!"

 

A male friend, that's a good friend of hers just wrote what I said to him, what SHE said...as, "Meh, she just likes attention from guys." Maybe it was just an ego thing that I was turned off by her alcoholism. She is big into going on these retreats where they consume psychedelics to find their "spirit animal." and from her conversations about dating, it sounds like she's been around the block. She complained about a lot of guys having sex with her, but never calling back.

 

See, it takes getting to know someone after a course of a few social events to determine whether or not you'd like to ask them out.

[introverted1]

 

I said, "Just because you're attracted, doesn't mean you should date them."

 

Do you think this is how all of these relationships get off to a bad start from the beginning? People are letting their attraction trump common sense?

 

I think this goes back to the chemistry/compatibility debate that was here a few days ago. IMO, you need both. What you are observing (and I have observed the same) is that some people over-value chemistry and end up in relationships where there isn't true compatibility. They act on the initial chemistry without considering compatibility.

[Redhead14]

I think sometimes a lot of people get caught up in bad relationships because they let their attraction overlook the serious character flaws in other people.

 

I recall a woman who liked me a lot, but being the kind of person that winds up getting to KNOW the person in a group setting through some of these Meetup events, she had some behaviors I found to be a turn off. She tends to trend heavily a lot at events and the smell of Vodka reeks from her by the end of the evening.

 

I mean, I could have easily took her home and had my way with her, but just not how I am wired. I have a female friend of mine that was fixed up with a real redneck, he smokes like a fiend and she's telling me she can't stand cigarette smoke and smoking is usually a deal breaker for her, but...she claims to be attracted.

 

I said, "Just because you're attracted, doesn't mean you should date them."

 

Do you think this is how all of these relationships get off to a bad start from the beginning? People are letting their attraction trump common sense?

 

Anyone who dates a person and overlooks character flaws or with whom they are incompatible are doing it because a) they are desperate, b) they are co-dependent or c) doesn't care about anything and just wants to get laid.