Lola2609 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 (edited) We met in July 2015 on a vacation in a foreign country. We both live in USA, 4 hours flight. We met during our last night of vacation and spent only 4 hours together. We danced, swimmed and kissed. We exchanged the phone numbers and I didnt expect anything. But as soon as I got home he started texting me. And 6 months later we still text several times a day (no phone calls). He invited me to visit him, then he suggested to come visit me but I was busy with school and work and that never happened. A month ago I visited his state but far from where he lives (6 hours drive). He offered to come and see me but it was impossible for me (not that I didnt want to). Finally, I told him I will go back in a month (end of Feb) and visit him. I have never had a long distance relationship. I feel like I already have feelings for him and I dont want to be hurt if this doesnt work out. I dont even know what he wants. I feel it is too naive to expect anything. Maybe he just wants some fun and since he liked me, why not invite me to go visit. But again, he texts me every day first thing in the morning and good night every evening. I guess I am looking for someone else's thoughts on this. Edited January 29, 2016 by Lola2609 1
Arieswoman Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Lola2609, You say ; "We met during our last night of vacation and spent only 4 hours together" and already you are talking about a "romance" ?? I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh, but please take a reality check. You've spent 4 hours with this guy and already you are weaving a romantic fantasy around the meeting? You know absolutely nothing about this guy, who I suspect is quite happy to string you along in they hope of getting his leg over. Block him, delete him and forget him. There are dozens of available guys in your area that you can date without the drama. 1
Author Lola2609 Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 (edited) Lola2609, You say ; "We met during our last night of vacation and spent only 4 hours together" and already you are talking about a "romance" I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh, but please take a reality check. You've spent 4 hours with this guy and already you are weaving a romantic fantasy around the meeting? You know absolutely nothing about this guy, who I suspect is quite happy to string you along in they hope of getting his leg over. Block him, delete him and forget him. There are dozens of available guys in your area that you can date without the drama. I guess romance is not the right word. Anyway, he has been wonderful to me. Sending me jokes when I am upset or bored, talking to me about my problems. I first thought that he might be bored and that is the reason he texts 10 times a day. Then I checked his fb profile and realized that his life is pretty busy and fulfilled (at least seems like that) and his ex gf is gorgeous which only made me more insecure. Just to add, when I visited his state he offered to see me and even said if I didnt have time he would come (drive 6 hours) take me and my friend for dinner and go back home. (I had a personal, good reason for not seeing him). Now I am confused. I do think he might only want sex but then... Edited January 29, 2016 by Lola2609 1
Arieswoman Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Lola2629, Please take care; "he texts 10 times a day" He's "lovebombing" you - please read up about Sociopaths and Psychopaths ; Seducing and love bombing | Dating a Sociopath You have been warned ....
Author Lola2609 Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 (edited) I guess that is the reason I am asking this question. After six months, I have realized that I am texting him more than anyone I was in a relationship with. I also know "everyrthing" about his daily life. Texting is frielndly, no romatic, but it feels like we are in a relatiinship (weird). Edited January 29, 2016 by Lola2609
Author Lola2609 Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 After reading the article I am still not 100% clear if he is some kind of a sociopath. He does text constantly, it does feel weird sometimes. He also said he will clear his work schedule whenever I decide to visit. Even postpone a trip to Europe. That seems little too much for someone he doesnt even know. On the other hand, he has an interesting life, way more interesting than I do. He seems to make enough money and does things. I know this because he is telling me his plans and when I ask for pics he sends them. For example, he is at some event and he is telling me it is great. I ask for a pic so I can see it too.
d0nnivain Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Anything is possible. The Q is more how probable is it. How much work do you both want to put into keeping this alive & can you afford it? Even assuming you can get flights for about $250 how often are you willing to drop that kind of money? Also how realistic is it that the distance could ever close? Are you tied to where you live? Is he? I'm not suggesting marriage or living together is a realistic concern this early but if you never want to move, you can't go into this thinking he'll relocate. If it's physically impossible to overcome the distance why bother? Do give it a shot but be sensible. You don't really know this guy 4 hours together plus a few electronic interactions is not personal knowledge. Get a hotel room. Do not stay with him. Make sure somebody knows where you are. Consider running a formal background check. At least do an internet search.
Author Lola2609 Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 Thank you. If it works out, I could relocate somewhat easily. I am at school currently but if I could transfer I would def do that. Or I could wait to more years at least to graduate. He on the other hand is in the process of buying his own house, so he will need sometime as well. Right now, he lives with his brother (who is married). When I checked his fb, everything he told me was true. Everything he was talking he was doing last few months was there on fb. I was really relieved that he wasnt exaggerating certain things or even worse lying. He offered to come to his place or to meet in another city that I mentioned I would love to see (It would be 4 hours flight for me and 7 hours drive for him). And I guess, we would share a hotel room.
d0nnivain Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 If you are still in school & you are willing to look for a job near him, maybe. No hotel room sharing initially You need your own space the 1st few times you meet. What if after spending more than 4 hours together you don't like him? If you are sharing you can't get away from him. At this point, you may have stars in your eyes. That doesn't help you see the reality of the situation. What's the age difference between you two? That will be a factor. He seems to be at a different life stage then you. Also, you can't tell anything from social media. I meant you should pay one of those sites to do a criminal background check.
Author Lola2609 Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 We are almost the same age. However, he had a good start in life and is way ahead of me. I have been on my own pretty much my whole life and I am still struggling and working hard to accomplish my goals.
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