Isitme05 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 So met this girl at a group meetup and just talked as normal and got the phone number. I texted her a few days later with a funny text and after a couple exchanges, I setup the first date for the weekend. The date went well and physical escalation and flirtation was definitely there by the end. We kissed and when she got home texted me that she was safe. Next Tuesday she initiated contact through text so again we went back and forth with a couple texts and I wasted no time that night. I called her and chatted for a short time and set a 2nd date for the upcoming weekend. I let her meet me at my place (because she had an appointment in the area at the same time), she was receptive to the idea. Second date was great, we walked and held hands and all that, kissed at times and definitely got to know each other better. We Went to grab a bite and got back to my place where we watched a movie and got a little more physical (dry hump, topless etc.) no sex though, she pumped the brakes and I was cool with it. When she left and got home that night she texted again that she was home safe. Tuesday I initiated a another Hey/funny text and again had a couple exchanges (i've been trying to keep texting to a minimum to avoid clingyness, show abundance and only use texts to set up dates). I called her Wednesday night to just talk and possibly set up another date depending on how the conversation went. She seemed happy to talk about herself and I of course made her laugh at times (I let her do most of the talking). I asked what was her plan on the weekend and she said a couple of her girlfriends were in town so she'd be entertaining them. I was like "that's cool". She asked me what I was doing and told her that I'd be with some friends etc. The phone conversation ended with me telling her to have fun and that we'd hang out soon, maybe the following week. But I didn't set a definite date cause I didn't want to smother her and also show that I have a life outside of her too. I also wanted to let her focus on hanging out with her friends. ..............How do you guys think this went? Anything you wouldve done differently? I personally think its in good standing now but I would definitely appreciate some input.
Ami1uwant Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 I would gave been more forward and set up another date.... As you said you got to top,ess then you backing off is saying something about maybe you were turned off of upset she stopped so she is backing off from you.
angel.eyes Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Strange! Why didn't you just set up another date mid-week or the following weekend? Everyone is different, so I'll refrain from speculating about how she might interpret and react to your behavior. For me, if a guy is calling/texting but not actually asking me out on a date, I just move on to the next. He's playing games, not that interested, doesn't know what he wants, lacks confidence, etc...none of the possibilities are attractive or a good fit for me. I prioritize and focus on guys who seem genuinely interested and excited to date me instead. For me, that's a way better use of my time.
tasev1 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 LOL......I smell Corey Wayne all over this!! This is nearly 100% of what he would have you do....words and all. haha. Yeah, not setting that final date is debatable. Not great, but not bad either. There's always alternatives, and like the lady said....you were on a great track, but still set the date
Author Isitme05 Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 Ok I see where yall are coming from. I did get a gut feeling after the phone call that I should've set a date. Actually my plan was to do that but her friends being there threw a wrench into it and I hadn't thought of a contingency plan. That being said, do you advise that I initiate a text convo before or after the weekend? Or during the weekend? Of course the convo will lead to me setting a date but I just don't want to seem too needy or too disinterested. Thank you
266696687 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Ok I see where yall are coming from. I did get a gut feeling after the phone call that I should've set a date. Actually my plan was to do that but her friends being there threw a wrench into it and I hadn't thought of a contingency plan. That being said, do you advise that I initiate a text convo before or after the weekend? Or during the weekend? Of course the convo will lead to me setting a date but I just don't want to seem too needy or too disinterested. Thank you Just text her before the weekend telling her to have a great time with her friends and offer her a date next week set the time and day. Don't over think it be direct and send one message. To the point and clear. You'll do fine!
tasev1 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Don't let it throw a wrench in there.....just say, "oh, cool. I hope you have a great time with your friends! I want to hear more about it later, when are you free to meet up?"
Redhead14 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 So met this girl at a group meetup and just talked as normal and got the phone number. I texted her a few days later with a funny text and after a couple exchanges, I setup the first date for the weekend. The date went well and physical escalation and flirtation was definitely there by the end. We kissed and when she got home texted me that she was safe. Next Tuesday she initiated contact through text so again we went back and forth with a couple texts and I wasted no time that night. I called her and chatted for a short time and set a 2nd date for the upcoming weekend. I let her meet me at my place (because she had an appointment in the area at the same time), she was receptive to the idea. Second date was great, we walked and held hands and all that, kissed at times and definitely got to know each other better. We Went to grab a bite and got back to my place where we watched a movie and got a little more physical (dry hump, topless etc.) no sex though, she pumped the brakes and I was cool with it. When she left and got home that night she texted again that she was home safe. Tuesday I initiated a another Hey/funny text and again had a couple exchanges (i've been trying to keep texting to a minimum to avoid clingyness, show abundance and only use texts to set up dates). I called her Wednesday night to just talk and possibly set up another date depending on how the conversation went. She seemed happy to talk about herself and I of course made her laugh at times (I let her do most of the talking). I asked what was her plan on the weekend and she said a couple of her girlfriends were in town so she'd be entertaining them. I was like "that's cool". She asked me what I was doing and told her that I'd be with some friends etc. The phone conversation ended with me telling her to have fun and that we'd hang out soon, maybe the following week. But I didn't set a definite date cause I didn't want to smother her and also show that I have a life outside of her too. I also wanted to let her focus on hanging out with her friends. ..............How do you guys think this went? Anything you wouldve done differently? I personally think its in good standing now but I would definitely appreciate some input. You never leave a next date offer hanging without specifics. If you're going to suggest another date, close the deal. Since you've done it this way, call her within the next 2 days at least and arrange a specific day, time and place. I also wanted to let her focus on hanging out with her friends. -- I understand you logic, however, it could cause her more distraction because she's wondering if you're going to follow through . . .
Redhead14 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 and also show that I have a life outside of her too. - you're trying to apply some kind of dating logic/gaminess here, but it's faulty -- she's probably pretty busy too -- if you want her time, you'd better get on the calendar with specifics because if you wait, she won't have room for you . . . 1
Miss Peach Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 I would set up another date with a specific date/time. IME when people do stuff like you did it's often followed by flakiness or ghosting. I don't take a potential date seriously until there is a date/time/venue. I usually multi-date and I will give your slot to other guys who actually ask me out first even if I really like you.
Recommended Posts