losangelena Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 I don't think that removing pictures from social media necessarily means he's moved on. I think that most people remove those pictures in an attempt to move on. It's difficult to move on if you have pictures of an ex around because those reminders open up old wounds. He's probably not doing it to hurt you. It's more likely that he needs to this to move on. It's not childish to remove pictures of an ex from social media. Maturity or immaturity really have nothing to do with it. Removing pictures is really just a normal thing that most everyone does at some point. Some do it the next day. Some take months and do it in stages. I've always removed pictures, social media or otherwise, and belongings immediately because I didn't want the reminder. I most definitely wasn't thinking of the other person at the time either. I was doing what I needed to do to move on. I agree with this. Even though my ex and I broke up five months ago, the only thing I've done is hide the evidence of him from my space, and deleted our couple photos on Facebook. But I still have photos of him on my phone, and on my Instagram, so has he. I am more of a slow-approach kind of person, though. It feels weird, right now, deleting everything and pretending that he wasn't a huge part of my life for a year, but soon, those memories will mean less and less. Every day, I check my IG to see if he's still following me, but again, one day, it won't matter and I'm sure we will just slip away from each other and it'll be no big deal. Of course, doing it all at once at the beginning feels more hurtful to the other person, but if that's what they need to do to get over, then that's what they're gonna do. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 It's not childish and I very much doubt it's intended to hurt you, OP. He's actually taking a smart step by deleting these pictures; it's one of the first of many steps in separating yourself from someone else's life. It can be difficult to see reminders of that person, especially in such a public forum as social media. He's doing it for him, I imagine. I don't see any reason why he should keep them on his profiles, to be honest. Sorry girl, but it's the reality of a break-up. 2
Neffer Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 He's not trying to hurt you - its just a containment move. He is trying to move on and get over things. NC is a good tool to manage the pain of a breakup. Try not to take it personally. People handle breakups/emotional pain differently. I can understand how it would feel as if you were being erased, but it isn't a weapon aimed at you. Its him managing things for himself. * A few responses are somewhat "burn the witch!" as you are pegged as a dumper or manipulator. Please don't take that to heart. I think people get a bit hardened by their own breakups and read motive into things. Breakups are not a power game to most people.
mightycpa Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 Hello, I broke up with my ex literally a week ago. It was mostly that we were just not getting along, but I didn't really want to break up. I guess things happen. I still wanted to talk to him but he has been pretty much ignoring me for the most part so I've held off. He's always been an extremely calm, emotionally stable person who I always felt was very much in love with me. I found out today that he has deleted all photos of me from his FB, in addition to unfollowing my on Instagram, etc. I have no idea why he is being so cold and it's breaking my heart. Any ideas or reasoning behind this?Sounds to me like he's acting as if YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM. 1
Captivating Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 Cameragirl, You broke up with him, this decision wasn't his choice, he had no control over this situation. Besides him being heartbroken, you also hurt his ego by dumping him. He is probably very upset thinking how easily you broke up with him, that he doesn't mean anything to you etc. He is sad and mad probably. PRIDE ! Decide what you want....whether you want him back or not and proceed with a heartfelt message explaining things and revealing things. Even if he rejects you, you tried to mend the relationship and you won't have regrets not reaching out. Then reach out again in 2 months, just in case... You dumped him, you walked out on him, you need to reach out. Also, you guys need to work on the issues that led to the breakup in order to work. I hope things will work out
Author cameragirl Posted January 30, 2016 Author Posted January 30, 2016 I didn't. I simply meant "we broke up"
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 I didn't. I simply meant "we broke up" It makes no difference. You're broken up. He's doing the right thing. There isn't anybody here who's going to tell you differently. No matter who broke up with whom, or whether it was a mutually-agreed, joint decision. He's your ex. You no longer have a say, and he's doing what he feels necessary....
mightycpa Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 I didn't. I simply meant "we broke up"Either way. He dumped you, you dumped him, or you got together over coffee and both agreed it was a good idea to end the romantic relationship, for cause or no cause. This is what people do when they break up if they were emotionally involved. If he didn't give a crap about you, those pictures would still be there, right next to pictures of the new girl. Take it as testament to the fact you mean something to him.
NoLeafClover Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 You broke up with him....he can do anything he wants including deleting your pictures...you broke his heart thus he has every right to move on. It's a bit childish to me to breakup with someone and then want them to keep everything like it was before. Relationship either work or don't ..There is no in between. If you wanted to be with him then you shouldn't of broken up with him.
Qboro90 Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 You can't wonder why he's being so cold and deleting your photos off his social media... When you're the one who broke up with him... Or even if you're the one who initiated the talk. Clearly he didn't see you that day and break with you. If you wanted him to be more broken up about it then he's showing then that would be out of character. You say that he's always a very calm rational person. So his actions are showing that he's being calm and rational even through a breakup. What's a calm rational person do when their gf breaks up with them? They don't contact them, they remove the reminders of the relationship from their lives , which includes social media. Your ego is bruised because he's not giving you the satisfaction of being more upset or crushed then you like or expected him to be. Which is making him more appealing to you. Why people sometimes feel this way is bizarre but it's almost like a "wait... You don't care about me and are fine without me?! Wait wait I want you back now!!"
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