ToughShell Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 I got this text: Don't take this the wrong way but I need my space. You did nothing wrong. I just I have a lot on my mind right now. I said OK, then she replied back with I'm sorry. I've heard this many times, but there IS something different about this girl and the way she went about saying it. What do you all think? Is she being honest or is this just another case of BS? I do like this girl, but at the same time, I'm not so entwined that I'll fall apart like with the other one. Should I give her the benefit of the doubt? I want to know, but at the same time, I don't want to ruin my chances of starting something more.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 It's hard to say without much context. How long were you dating her? And how often did you see her? Do you know of any other stress in her life? Answering these questions will help us take a better guess at whether she is being truthful.
doeblin Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 A no is a no is a no is a no. Whatever is the reason behind it. Move on. 6
Author ToughShell Posted January 28, 2016 Author Posted January 28, 2016 (edited) It's hard to say without much context. How long were you dating her? And how often did you see her? Do you know of any other stress in her life? Answering these questions will help us take a better guess at whether she is being truthful. We've only been seeing each other for a couple months. Neither of us drive, so because of that, we have to rely on public transportation, we only get to see each other every week or two (it's three hours round trip by bus). A couple of her classmates are real ice holes (perpetual 10 year olds if you ask me). They are spreading rumors about her, myself and us together (I used to go to the same college, so we know a lot of the same people), but that's about it. I hope with that, you or one of the others can help me shed more light on the situation. Edited January 28, 2016 by ToughShell
ExpatInItaly Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 We've only been seeing each other for a couple months. Neither of us drive, so because of that, we have to rely on public transportation, we only get to see each other every week or two (it's three hours round trip by bus). A couple of her classmates are real ice holes (perpetual 10 year olds if you ask me). They are spreading rumors about her, myself and us together (I used to go to the same college, so we know a lot of the same people), but that's about it. I hope with that, you or one of the others can help me shed more light on the situation. What has been said? I ask because perhaps she's been hearing things she doesn't like and would rather just call it off.
bluefeather Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 I got this text: Don't take this the wrong way but I need my space. You did nothing wrong. I just I have a lot on my mind right now. I said OK, then she replied back with I'm sorry. How the heck are we supposed to know if that's bs if we don't even know how you two are with eachother..? When someone says they need space, it could mean time to think or it could mean breaking up. No way to tell for sure what that stupid text means. Man up and call her to find out what the child needs or forget about her because she's too childish to explain to you like an adult. And you need to do some growing up too if all you did was reply back in text "ok..." Seriously, so many of you kids don't know wtf you're doing...
Author ToughShell Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 What has been said? I ask because perhaps she's been hearing things she doesn't like and would rather just call it off. People have been saying about me that I had been dealing weed while there and about her, as far as I know, just that she's been badmouthing her friends.
Author ToughShell Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 How the heck are we supposed to know if that's bs if we don't even know how you two are with eachother..? When someone says they need space, it could mean time to think or it could mean breaking up. No way to tell for sure what that stupid text means. Man up and call her to find out what the child needs or forget about her because she's too childish to explain to you like an adult. And you need to do some growing up too if all you did was reply back in text "ok..." Seriously, so many of you kids don't know wtf you're doing... First of all, please leave the word "kids" out of this. We're not teenagers. I was way too sheltered/isolated as a kid and I'm paying for it now and unfortunately for me, this is how. As for the bs thing, that's frequently used as a way to spare feelings.
No_Go Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Honestly: She's BS you because she's not comfortable being the bad person. I've done this to a few guys that i wasn't attracted to BUT they did everything right and had no flows on paper. I just didn't like them and was too cowardish to admit One still tries to talk to me two (2) years later One guy also did that to me. I'll post the message if I find it. It was soooo poetic, but he was just telling me that he's not interested ;( I got this text: Don't take this the wrong way but I need my space. You did nothing wrong. I just I have a lot on my mind right now. I said OK, then she replied back with I'm sorry. I've heard this many times, but there IS something different about this girl and the way she went about saying it. What do you all think? Is she being honest or is this just another case of BS? I do like this girl, but at the same time, I'm not so entwined that I'll fall apart like with the other one. Should I give her the benefit of the doubt? I want to know, but at the same time, I don't want to ruin my chances of starting something more.
neowulf Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 I got this text: Don't take this the wrong way but I need my space. You did nothing wrong. I just I have a lot on my mind right now. I said OK, then she replied back with I'm sorry. I've heard this many times, but there IS something different about this girl and the way she went about saying it. What do you all think? Is she being honest or is this just another case of BS? I do like this girl, but at the same time, I'm not so entwined that I'll fall apart like with the other one. Should I give her the benefit of the doubt? I want to know, but at the same time, I don't want to ruin my chances of starting something more. You know what I've learnt to do? Let it go. They can dress it up any way they like. The end result is the same. They don't want to continue a relationship with you. You don't need to understand it, or have it make sense. You can actually just say "screw it" and move onto a woman who *does* want to be in a relationship with you. So many men drive themselves nuts trying to analyse what the "real" meaning behind the words are. Honestly, it doesn't matter. At all. Just shrug, take it on the chin and walk on. Don't waste time with flakes man. Life is short. 4
tasev1 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 She's essentially closing you off. it's her way of minimizing the emotional impact - which is what women do! She is worried more about how she makes you feel, rather than being straight up and saying it's over. DON'T pursue....give her space. If she wants, she will call you back, at which point you set a date.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 People have been saying about me that I had been dealing weed while there and about her, as far as I know, just that she's been badmouthing her friends. That's quite a random rumor; is there any truth to it? If she believes it, that could have a lot to do with it. In any case, she's not interested anymore. I'd just let this one go. 1
Toodaloo Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 ToughShell. I hope you have one because what she has just said to you is that she doesn't want you. There is no particular reason or "fault" in you. It is nothing specific you have done. She just doesn't want to be with you. It is that simple. 3
smudge21 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 The best, and hardest, thing to do is to walk away now. You both know where each other stands and if something changes for her she can come to you. She's the one who's closed the door, she has to open it again... then of course you have to decide, should that time come, if you really want to go back there. You may have met someone more in to you by then.
Zippy2000 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 (edited) You know what I've learnt to do? Let it go. They can dress it up any way they like. The end result is the same. They don't want to continue a relationship with you. I totally agree with this. I asked a girl out in 2014 and I remember this girl tell me: "Can we be friends just now. I ve got a lot of personal problems I need to deal with". Fast forward till today. Well, I can say it was an absolute lie. During the time I was speaking to her she met someone else! Asked whet her problems were. They never surfaced. Im still friends with this girl but if a girl isnt interested in you she will always make excuses to soften the blow. They will tell you indirectly to not hurt your feelings. I wish they would just tell the us the darn truth rather than beating about the bush. Edited January 29, 2016 by Zippy2000 1
Bobbi7 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 That's a bs excuse, c'mon... "it's not you, it's me?" of course it has everything to do with YOU. Or else why wouldn't she still want to see you? I honestly, I don't know why people are still posting that therea some tragedy going on in her life, I've had that same excuse used on me!!!
WaitingForBardot Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 IDK, I've had this said to me and I've accepted it at face value. Probably because every time I've broken up with someone it has been me. Regardless of what the underlying cause was, looks, personality mismatches, whatever, it was in fact, me. I was the one that didn't want to deal with it anymore. 1
Author ToughShell Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 That's quite a random rumor; is there any truth to it? If she believes it, that could have a lot to do with it. In any case, she's not interested anymore. I'd just let this one go. I tell jokes. Most of them are making fun of occupations and drugs/drug use. I think someone used that as a foundation for starting the weed rumor.
Author ToughShell Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 That's a bs excuse, c'mon... "it's not you, it's me?" of course it has everything to do with YOU. Or else why wouldn't she still want to see you? I honestly, I don't know why people are still posting that therea some tragedy going on in her life, I've had that same excuse used on me!!! Bobbi, I'm not saying she said that in particular, I said it's an it's-not-you-it's-me-esque" situation. If she said that to me, I'd know right away that it was 100% bs. Yeah, sure, I was too sheltered as a child, but I know what that means.
Author ToughShell Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 Zippy, I agree with you. The truth is much better. One thing they fail to realize is they're just delaying the inevitable, because most of us find out the truth anyway, but when we do, it hurts that much more than if they just came right out in the first place and told us straight forward.
Eighty_nine Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 It means she's not interested anymore, for now. The best thing you can do is give her space. No texts or follow up questions, etc. Girls often aren't sure what they want and with breathing room, she might be curious about what you're up to and come back around eventually.
xcupid Posted January 31, 2016 Posted January 31, 2016 I'd be inclined to think she's giving you a pass and trying to bow out gracefully without hurting your feelings.
Author ToughShell Posted February 8, 2016 Author Posted February 8, 2016 I'd be inclined to think she's giving you a pass and trying to bow out gracefully without hurting your feelings. Like I stated in another post, not saying anything/insisting it's in some way her fault (or at least not mine) is a pretty vague and hurtful statement. I (and most other people who have been in this situation) would rather just hear the truth. Guys are just as guilty of doing this when they're the ones breaking it off. It is applicable both ways.
joseb Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 Like I stated in another post, not saying anything/insisting it's in some way her fault (or at least not mine) is a pretty vague and hurtful statement. I (and most other people who have been in this situation) would rather just hear the truth. Guys are just as guilty of doing this when they're the ones breaking it off. It is applicable both ways. I'm not sure how you feel the statement is hurtful. It sounds like she is trying to be nice about breaking up. Would you rather she say "I'm breaking up with you and it's all your fault, you're such a jerk" or something? 2
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