barbossa Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 How do you define what persistence is and what is pathetic? ( as it relates to dating/courtship) In my experience some females have said they gauge a males' level of interest given their persistence to keep asking/chasing them, (Do you agree?) How many times do you ask for a person's number? How many times you ask a person out? How many OLD messages do you send someone before giving up? In your opinion Is it persistence or pathetic if you keep trying?
doeblin Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 You should ask her out as soon as possible. If she flakes once, she might have a good reason. If she flakes twice, and doesn't give you a counteroffer, you are done. If you keep persisting after that, you will look more and more desperate. 1
Alamo657 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 In my experience some females have said they gauge a males' level of interest given their persistence to keep asking/chasing them, (Do you agree?) Only if they are interested in the guy in the first place. If not you're just a "creepy, pathetic, psychopath" guy. Just a matter of perspective. In your opinion Is it persistence or pathetic if you keep trying? It becomes pathetic when you appear all weak and whiny about it, resorting to flowery kind of stuff to buy her affection. It's persistence if you try once a year, without instisting. 2
Redhead14 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 How do you define what persistence is and what is pathetic? ( as it relates to dating/courtship) In my experience some females have said they gauge a males' level of interest given their persistence to keep asking/chasing them, (Do you agree?) How many times do you ask for a person's number? How many times you ask a person out? How many OLD messages do you send someone before giving up? In your opinion Is it persistence or pathetic if you keep trying? Pathetic/Chasing is a man who hounds me when I've shown him no interest whatsoever or clearly said no. Persistence is when a man has been given a green light by me, either flirtatiously/subtle yet clear or given my number, who calls me regularly and not incessantly, who arranges dates on a regular basis, and maintains respect and paces his advances to demonstrate sincerity without neediness, being demanding or being over eager. Pursuit balanced by reciprocation. 2
Wewon Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 How do you define what persistence is and what is pathetic? ( as it relates to dating/courtship) As cynical as this sounds, barring wild extremes, it totally depends on if she finds you attractive or not. How I handled this when I was single, I followed the motto that interested people act interested. Meaning, if she's not meeting me halfway (cancelling and not rescheduling, not initiating phone calls, etc) then I move on. I've learned that there are a lot of women that will treat a guy as an option if he let's her. The real tell is if she puts forward any effort or will she only tolerate you if its as easy as falling off the couch. 1
spriggan2 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Ive learned that there are a lot of women that will treat a guy as an option if he let's her. The real tell is if she puts forward any effort or will she only tolerate you if its as easy as falling off the couch. Ugh..so true. Just learned this the hard way. Never again.
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 How do you define what persistence is and what is pathetic? ( as it relates to dating/courtship) In my experience some females have said they gauge a males' level of interest given their persistence to keep asking/chasing them, (Do you agree?) How many times do you ask for a person's number? How many times you ask a person out? How many OLD messages do you send someone before giving up? In your opinion Is it persistence or pathetic if you keep trying? Funny you brought this up, I've heard "how we met" stories where women or wives would talk about, "How my husband/boyfriend asked me out 5 times before I said yes!" Something doesn't add up there, but apparently the guy was persistent enough where he got her to change her mind. I hear about how women would tell a single guy how he "gives up too easily" after making one phone call and then never having it returned. I hear some women let a man call them 2 or 3 times, to see if his interest is genuine before returning or picking up the phone to answer. With this in mind, I would sometimes make 2 or 3 attempts, but I always kind of cringed by the third time to the point where I would think that she thinks I may come off as stalker-ish attempting to make that attempt.
Redhead14 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Funny you brought this up, I've heard "how we met" stories where women or wives would talk about, "How my husband/boyfriend asked me out 5 times before I said yes!" Something doesn't add up there, but apparently the guy was persistent enough where he got her to change her mind. I hear about how women would tell a single guy how he "gives up too easily" after making one phone call and then never having it returned. I hear some women let a man call them 2 or 3 times, to see if his interest is genuine before returning or picking up the phone to answer. With this in mind, I would sometimes make 2 or 3 attempts, but I always kind of cringed by the third time to the point where I would think that she thinks I may come off as stalker-ish attempting to make that attempt. but apparently the guy was persistent enough where he got her to change her mind. -- She gave enough signals but toyed with him and he knew it. He just knew what he was "looking at". That's a little different and says something about their "chemistry" These are kinda "one off" scenarios. I hear about how women would tell a single guy how he "gives up too easily" after making one phone call and then never having it returned. I hear some women let a man call them 2 or 3 times, to see if his interest is genuine before returning or picking up the phone to answer. -- This is game playing fueled by insecurity or entitlement. You like the guy, answer the damn phone. This kind of stuff pisses me off It just f's with the dating process and people's heads until one day no one is dating anyone. 1
thecrucible Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Personally I never play games. If I like a guy, I will always answer his calls and texts in as timely a manner as possible. I only ever seem to get extremes with men recently - either they are clearly not interested or too interested. To me persistence should be a kind of balance between the two of you where you both demonstrating that there is some reciprocal interest without feeling the need to go over the top. So the man might ask me on a date, I graciously accept and let him know I had a great time and then there is really nothing else I can do. To me, one text if I hadn't heard would be a little persistent but not a cardinal sin in my dating book. If nothing happened after that text I would move on/let the guy get back to me. I also think that if you've decided to move on, the other person should accept that and not contact you unless you change your mind. I have exes that keep sending me messages. Each time it throws me off balance but I get a bad taste in my mouth and just do not want to talk to them.
No_Go Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Agree with the first part (the level of interest / perspective). But: "It's persistence if you try once a year, without instisting." - that's pathetic. We're talking here years of stalkerish behavior (presuming that most adults do not stay single for years). Persistent is if you ask her out twice,because the first time her answer was ambiguous. Only if they are interested in the guy in the first place. If not you're just a "creepy, pathetic, psychopath" guy. Just a matter of perspective. It becomes pathetic when you appear all weak and whiny about it, resorting to flowery kind of stuff to buy her affection. It's persistence if you try once a year, without instisting.
Maggie4 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 My definition? Difference is how HE feels. If he is happily enjoying the chase, that's persistence. If he is frustrated, upset, worried, tense, bitter, that's pathetic. And I can tell the difference by the look on his face. You can't fake it.
No_Go Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 " In my experience some females have said they gauge a males' level of interest given their persistence to keep asking/chasing them, (Do you agree?)" - No "How many times do you ask for a person's number?" - once, then give her yours if you don't get hers "How many times you ask a person out?" - up to two-three times is appropriate, 3 is pushing it though "How many OLD messages do you send someone before giving up?" - One and only one until she responds. You can "remind her" of yourself by liking/nudging/visiting her profile once more, but hell don't write a second message "Have you seen my first one?" Yes she did AND chose not to respond.
iphone_user1 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 How do you define what persistence is and what is pathetic? ( as it relates to dating/courtship) Persitence is showing interest without being needy. Pathetic would be like "Please, go out with me". In my experience some females have said they gauge a males' level of interest given their persistence to keep asking/chasing them, (Do you agree?) I'm done with immature mind games. How many times do you ask for a person's number? How many times you ask a person out? How many OLD messages do you send someone before giving up? Twice for the 3 questions.
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