Danielle4678 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 So I've always been a lurker on this site and it's helped me immensely but I did something really stupid and could use some advice (pity basically ha ha!). Me and my ex split up two months ago after a 7 year relationship. He initiated the "we need to talk" conversation but I knew the relationship had died a long time ago. Break up was completely mutual but very hard. The first few weeks were literally torture and I could barely eat or sleep. I just couldn't accept that after 7 years of seeing and speaking to someone every day that that was it. It was done. No longer a part of each other's lives. We've had minimal contact which was mainly sorting out logistics (we lived together and were tied together financially). The past month has been much better and I was actually in a good place. For some reason that's unbeknown to me I decided to check his eBay. I have no idea why I did this. I mean what did I expect to find? Anyway I did find something. He'd bought condoms a month ago. After being in such a good place this has completely wrecked me. I mean two months? Bloody hell I wish I could be that ok! He's off enjoying himself while the thought of being with someone else physically leaves me feeling sick. I guess I'm just after a pep talk really. I've managed not to contact him and chew him out as I realise logically it isn't any of business anymore. But it's tough. I don't want to speak to my friends or family about this as to me it just makes what we had look like s*it. Really struggling today. 2
smudge21 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Gotta' be harsh here, but when you go checking up on an ex, you're never going to find anything that makes you feel better. The fact is, even if you hadn't found his purchase history (seriously, ebay for condoms.. were they second hand like everything else?) you'd still be thinking about him and still be hurting. I recall seeing my ex was looking at wedding stuff, yep, we all do stupid things like this. You're having a bad time but you can't expect to heal instantly or even at a specific time. It will happen when it happens. You can't force it or set a date for it, just take your time, accept the bad and enjoy the good. Eventually you will feel better, we all heal. Oh and thinking about the ex having a great time is rubbish as you have no idea. You're just presuming the worse for you, when in reality he could be buying them so he doesn't ruin his new sex toy. Who knows. Chin up, it does get better. 1
PegNosePete Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 What do you mean, you checked his ebay? Is his purchase list public or something? Or did you log onto his account??? This is why you don't stalk him. You will see things you wish you hadn't. Don't do it again!!! 2
Toodaloo Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Guys view sex very differently to us. For them is more a physical act (like rushing your teeth) than emotional bonding. People buy condoms when they are not having sex... Perhaps the one in his wallet from before you got together disintegrated and left muck all in his wallet which made him think - gosh I might have sex in the next century better be prepared... Perhaps he is planning a party with mates or a practical "lads" joke. Last lot I brought a few were used to cover my dogs paws/ legs to stop dirt getting into cuts... Delete his ebay account. Stop looking and using it. This is where no contact (and that really does mean no contact, no snooping, no emails, phone calls, facebook, twitter, catch ups through mutual friends....) would really help you. Today you learnt that sometimes you are just better off not knowing. Go grab yourself a chocolate bar then get you ass out and get some exercise and fresh air. Call your girl friends, organise to do something that gets you out of the house and having fun. Go out for a meal, go help redecorate, anything that stops you being home and thinking about this. You get used to it. As time goes by it gets easier. 2
PegNosePete Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 gosh I might have sex in the next century better be prepared... Yes that is a very good point! And you know, you save in the long term by buying in bulk... 1
Author Danielle4678 Posted January 28, 2016 Author Posted January 28, 2016 I completely agree with both of you. I know snooping is never good and always leads to finding out something you'd rather not know! I'm surprised I did it because I've not done it once since we split up. We followed each other on eBay as sellers because we used to wind each other up and bid on each other's stuff/leave stupid feedback or what ever. I got a notification to say that he'd reached a feedback milestone or what ever and for some crazy reason thought I'd have a look. The particular bit of feedback was from a seller that only sold condoms. But seriously? Condoms on eBay? What a douchebag. Thanks for your input guys. I really appreciate it and know how ridiculously stupid I was. I've stopped following him now so he can keep his second hand eBay sex toys feedback to himself ha ha! 2
Toodaloo Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Yes that is a very good point! And you know, you save in the long term by buying in bulk... I am rather embarrassed to say that of the 30 condoms I have brought in the last 2 years... Only 3 have been used for actual sex... Who knew they were so versatile! 3
smudge21 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 I've stopped following him now so he can keep his second hand eBay sex toys feedback to himself ha ha! Good on you. I honestly can't imagine buying such things off ebay. How are they advertised... nearly new... one lady owner... and do they accept returns? Anyway, stay strong and stay away from such temptation. 1
Toodaloo Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Good on you. I honestly can't imagine buying such things off ebay. How are they advertised... nearly new... one lady owner... and do they accept returns? Anyway, stay strong and stay away from such temptation. You used to be able to buy boxes of 500 from the classifieds in the Farmers Weekly... The promise was that they would be delivered in a discrete brown paper parcel... Just saying! 1
smudge21 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 You used to be able to buy boxes of 500 from the classifieds in the Farmers Weekly... The promise was that they would be delivered in a discrete brown paper parcel... Just saying! Sorry but what would a Farmer want with 500 condo... ah, not a nice mental image that! 1
jen1447 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Sound like this is resolved but other possibilities include - - psyching himself up for potential sex he's not actually gonna have - random coping mechanism (condoms sit in drawer while he mopes) - might have even thought you'd see it and feel bad Glad you feel better OP. Toodaloo is the most awesomest for that.
TheArtist Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 I am rather embarrassed to say that of the 30 condoms I have brought in the last 2 years... Only 3 have been used for actual sex... Who knew they were so versatile! They work as shower caps too, but only at stag parties. 1
Toodaloo Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Sorry but what would a Farmer want with 500 condo... ah, not a nice mental image that! Depends on the farmer and whether he is arable or livestock I guess I know some quite tasty Arable farmers who I could very happily assist in using the bumper pack up with! 5000 for £50! bargain! They work as shower caps too, but only at stag parties. Or family get togethers' if you have cousins like mine who insist on trying to find the ultimate flavoured condoms from various pub vending machines (they all taste gak anyway and Kiwi tastes just the same as toffee and strawberry)... oh and for blowing up on your head in bar games... Other uses include keeping cash and phone dry while sailing. Keeping the cotton wool in your horses ears and loose stray hairs out while clipping. Putting over wing mirrors to keep the frost off. Putting over tow bar hitches to stop them rusting (we have ball hitches in the UK so it may not work in US)... Going over a wellington when you have just stuck a pitch fork through it and need to walk through muck and rivers... Mmmm I better go get some more... hopefully one day soon I will use one for its intended use again! 2
smudge21 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 This has turned into "500 things to do with a condom" 1
mightycpa Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 How many condoms do you have to buy in order to make it worthwhile to buy them from ebay? How do you know that the good prices you're getting are not because they are part of a batch that failed quality control?
TheArtist Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 How many condoms do you have to buy in order to make it worthwhile to buy them from ebay? How do you know that the good prices you're getting are not because they are part of a batch that failed quality control? If you get them shipped on pallets of 120,000 I hear it's much cheaper. Unless you're buying from a big brand on eBay I wouldn't chance something like that, especially if you're concerned about authenticity. They're not that expensive anyway, and can you really put a value on sexy-time? Nope!
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