John Charles Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 who wins the most girls? nice guys or the jerks. support your theory... again this child i deciding which man to become to be most successful with the ladies....
agnf666 Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Hmmm... I would have to say that the JERKS tend to get more girls. Why??? Because they are the "Bad Boys" the type that most girls are looking for. The men that treat girls like ****. The NICE GUYS get girls but they could come one to be too nice... So then girls run from them to go to a complete jerk. The one thing about NICE GUYS though , they are always taked. Boy, do I wish there was more nice guys!!!
blue_eyes18 Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Don't be too nice, but don't be too much of a jerk either. I hate complete a**h***s. But if a guy is TOO too nice, I think he is dorky. lol
amerikajin Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 The key is to be balanced. Well, actually, the real key is to be the best, most mature, masculine dude you can be and not care about the outcome.
Kat Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 A jerk had me for 6mths. A nice guy has now had me for 4 years and I don't have any plans on going anywhere. Jerks get the girls, short term. Nice guys get the girls long term
Marshbear Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 The only thing about nice guys is they tend to taken as friends to women. You can be a nice guy but you need to let them know that you are interested in them sexually and not get in the friends trap. You can be nice but also confident. Most women will see through the jerk eventually and if they don't, do you really want them???
ConfusedInOC Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by John Charles who wins the most girls? nice guys or the jerks. support your theory... again this child i deciding which man to become to be most successful with the ladies.... READ MY LIPS: NEITHER Nice guys are as bad as jerks and vice versa. It's the men who are comfortable in their skins and understand BALANCE and BOUNDARIES in a relationship that thrive in them. Nice guys give too much and seek approval of women. Your typical WIMP. Jerks don't give enough and are too tough. Your typical self centered, egotistical punk. So as you can see, a man who understands that he must love himself and understand he has needs too, has boundaries and repercussions for crossing them, who is comfortable in his masculinity, who understands he needs to show SOME emotions but still be confident, calm, self-assured and masculine....who can make a woman feel like she's the only woman in the world and yet STILL be his own man....ah...that is what a REAL man is. And yes, he will have his pick of any woman he wants, but he will not at any time use them or abuse them. He will find a woman that compliments his life - not consumes it - and they will both be extremely happy.
Kat Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Nice guys give too much and seek approval of women. Your typical WIMP. I could call my guy a 'nice guy' and he gives and takes. He knows the boundries and is willing to make it known if I have crossed them or upset him. He is NOT a wimp
ConfusedInOC Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by Kat I could call my guy a 'nice guy' and he gives and takes. He knows the boundries and is willing to make it known if I have crossed them or upset him. He is NOT a wimp He's not a typical NICE GUY. He is balanced.
Kat Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC He's not a typical NICE GUY. He is balanced. What is a typical nice guy? Or do you classify nice guys as wimps? I put them in different catagories
Tony Posted June 8, 2005 Senior Moderators Posted June 8, 2005 I think this thread, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t53288/ , which was started about six months ago covered the subject pretty well. However, it's something that's been discussed here a lot and the answers seem to always be the same. Each generation produces its own set of nice guys and wimps and they have to learn on their own. The lucky ones are those who know how to balance things in life. There seems to be a lot of merit to what each side has to say on this issue...there are no wrong answers because people and situations differ so much.
moimeme Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 They called me Ms. Language Person on another board. I think it's time I take that title and exert my force of will. The word 'nice' does not and should not equate with 'wimp' 'wussy' 'spineless' nor any other such word. Since such words already exist, I hereby declare it a sin and a crime against humanity to misuse and abuse the word 'nice' to have it denigrated so. Ms. Language Person Chairhuman, People Interested in Saving Semantics and Orthography Faithfully and Fully
outdated Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by Kat A jerk had me for 6mths. A nice guy has now had me for 4 years and I don't have any plans on going anywhere. Jerks get the girls, short term. Nice guys get the girls long term So in love with you right now.
outdated Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme They called me Ms. Language Person on another board. I think it's time I take that title and exert my force of will. The word 'nice' does not and should not equate with 'wimp' 'wussy' 'spineless' nor any other such word. Since such words already exist, I hereby declare it a sin and a crime against humanity to misuse and abuse the word 'nice' to have it denigrated so. Ms. Language Person Chairhuman, People Interested in Saving Semantics and Orthography Faithfully and Fully Loving you too....
ConfusedInOC Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by Tony I think this thread, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t53288/ , which was started about six months ago covered the subject pretty well. However, it's something that's been discussed here a lot and the answers seem to always be the same. Each generation produces its own set of nice guys and wimps and they have to learn on their own. The lucky ones are those who know how to balance things in life. There seems to be a lot of merit to what each side has to say on this issue...there are no wrong answers because people and situations differ so much. Right on target with that thread and your comments. When I refer to a "nice guy" I am always referring to an emotionally weak man, lacking self-confidence, confidence and masculinity who seeks approval from women, doesn't know how to set boundaries and sets "covert contracts" to gain his sense of self worth. There's nothing wrong with being kind, caring, etc. But as you stated, it must be BALANCED.
BigB Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 We really need to replace this stupid "nice guy" term with DOOR-MAT. Nice guy should equal a nice balanced good dude. The kind that the girls are talking about wanting. Door-mat is the weak, push over type that often get's called a "nice guy"
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme They called me Ms. Language Person on another board. I think it's time I take that title and exert my force of will. The word 'nice' does not and should not equate with 'wimp' 'wussy' 'spineless' nor any other such word. But "nice" is faint praise. So while not equivalent to wimp, etc, it does have connotations of "nice, but..." Chair of the working group "For Understanding and Clarifying Knowledge in Use of Language, Orally and Semantically in Every Relationship"
ConfusedInOC Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Nice guy = door mat. I refer to the right man as "balanced." So when I am talking about being the right kind of man, I will say "balanced." When I am talking about being a pushover, door mat, clingy, feminine, etc. I mean NICE GUY. "Bad Boy" refers to men who can act like jerks, are too into themselves, etc. The opposite of nice guy. You have to read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and you'll understand.
dgiirl Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 I married a Nice guy, then he turned into a Jerk hehe. If you're looking for many quick relationships, be a jerk. If you're looking for a long term relationship, be a nice balanced guy.
superfabulous Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 JERKS don't take the time to reveal their true feelings Jerks- are selfish self centered for the most part Jerks do nice things only when its effortless...they dont have to go out of their way... Jerks do what they feel like at that moment w/out considering how the woman may feel about it...I refer to some men as struck with the "out a sight, outta mind" thing going on... Jerks don' call when they say they will , ususally when they're bored or lonely or wanting sex or company- ie: the girl /woman is the last thing on his mind. nice guys try and will communicate how the feel ...ie: expressing if and how you envision a relaitionship should go. Nice guys know what they want and how to keep it fun!!! nice guys keep their word and do acts of kindness So now you go ahead and be whichever one you want to be!! AS long as you keep the fun and passion alive and have respect for the ladies- you will be considered a hottie
alphamale Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 a real man is smart enuf to know when to be nice and sensitive and when to be tough and unforgiving. its all driven by the intellect.
moimeme Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 You have to read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and you'll understand. I don't care if some twerp decides to write a book and further the abuse of the whole idea of 'nice'. He's still wrong.
Tony Posted June 10, 2005 Senior Moderators Posted June 10, 2005 "I don't care if some twerp decides to write a book and further the abuse of the whole idea of 'nice'. He's still wrong." It's actually quite an excellent book. The author delves deep into the minds of guys who go way beyond their reach and means to be overly nice and generous and ask nothing in return. There are some surprising explanations to this behavior in the book, written by a scholar who is a therapist and has done a LOT of research on the subject. I highly recommend it. I also agree that the term "nice guys" ought to be replaced by the term "door mats." Most respectable women will be repulsed by a man who gives up his entire being in order to cater to her every whim...that is clearly being a door mat.
moimeme Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 It's actually quite an excellent book Oh ok then. The way it was being described made it seem to be feeding some of the tired old cliches. Then again, I suppose it's a losing battle. 'Nice guy' and 'christian' have been overused too often for the genie to be stuffed back into the bottle, I guess. I'll just go eat chocolate.
crazy_grl Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Oh ok then. The way it was being described made it seem to be feeding some of the tired old cliches. Then again, I suppose it's a losing battle. 'Nice guy' and 'christian' have been overused too often for the genie to be stuffed back into the bottle, I guess. I think the label/clique actually comes from the doormat guys actually believing that their problem is that they're too nice. This is because a girl will often turn a doormat down by using the polite euphemism "you're just too nice." Many of them might even believe that the guy's problem is that he's too nice when it really is that he's spineless and lacking confidence. I think the author of that book chose a good title, because it'll get to the people who need it most, which are these doormats who think they're just 'nice guys' because that's what girls have been telling them when they get dumped.
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