cocoluv Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 What is essentially the start of cheating? If you are happy in a relationship then are out one day buying groceries and the check out guy flirts with you a bit, you flirt back. something you never would have done a year ago. But you did it today. Then you think about him on the way home. You think that was fun and he made me feel good about myself. You go to sleep with a smile that night but you feel like you did something wrong. This leads to more flirting behind your partners back, then more and more. Then its not enough. You start to go on webcam when hes not home. You take your clothes off you feel desired by men. OR you start a FB convo with a old friend who always had a crush on you. You then meet up, but nothing happens. You think of sleeping with him. So that was just starting from one small thing, for people who cheat is that how it begins or does it just happen?
RySant Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Simply when people begins to not be contented on what they already have. That's the start of cheating.
Grey Cloud Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Cheating is anything you keep secret from your spouse. Any conversations, emails, facebooking etc you try and hide because you are worried about their reaction. And because you feel guilty about it because deep down you know it's wrong. 6
Parannonx Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 If you wouldn't do it in front of your partner, or feel comfortable telling them about it, then it's cheating. 2
PegNosePete Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 What does it matter? It's how it ends that is important. 2
Alamo657 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Cheating starts when your partner loose respect, and thus attraction, toward you, but doesn't tell you, or doesn't notice.
carhill Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 What is essentially the start of cheating? Writing the answers to a test on your hand in grade school. Taking something that doesn't belong to you and lying about it. Any other of a million examples from life. So, who among us is not a cheater or a liar? See, we each decide what importance we place on the actions of living. Some of us get together in groups and create a group importance that we place on the lives of others, bending them to our will. We know what is right and wrong and so should they. Then, really big groups with resources get together and write laws and people with guns enforce them and people in robes pass judgment on the mortals in their charge. We are controlled. This discussion is one such example. Pondering the nuances of what is cheating. A social construct. I mean, kids texting their friends answers on tests in school should be rewarded as inventive, not cheating, right? Sharing the wealth of group knowledge for the betterment of the group. Ever watch a dog cheat? An owl? A llama? What is that like? Oh, wait, we're talking about 'relationship' cheating. The special relativity of those squishy emotions which are oh so fragile, but apparently not so fragile when perpetrating other injustices and hurts upon fellow humans out in the world. Relationship cheating is a special circumstance because, why, you said it is? I said it is? Who are we anyway? Pretty insignificant in the big picture of life and the universe is what we are. Short lived, fragile, self-important, id-driven biological organisms which create a whole manufactured reality around the simple concept of reproduction. What was the question again?
Parannonx Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Writing the answers to a test on your hand in grade school. Taking something that doesn't belong to you and lying about it. Any other of a million examples from life. So, who among us is not a cheater or a liar? See, we each decide what importance we place on the actions of living. Some of us get together in groups and create a group importance that we place on the lives of others, bending them to our will. We know what is right and wrong and so should they. Then, really big groups with resources get together and write laws and people with guns enforce them and people in robes pass judgment on the mortals in their charge. We are controlled. This discussion is one such example. Pondering the nuances of what is cheating. A social construct. I mean, kids texting their friends answers on tests in school should be rewarded as inventive, not cheating, right? Sharing the wealth of group knowledge for the betterment of the group. Ever watch a dog cheat? An owl? A llama? What is that like? Oh, wait, we're talking about 'relationship' cheating. The special relativity of those squishy emotions which are oh so fragile, but apparently not so fragile when perpetrating other injustices and hurts upon fellow humans out in the world. Relationship cheating is a special circumstance because, why, you said it is? I said it is? Who are we anyway? Pretty insignificant in the big picture of life and the universe is what we are. Short lived, fragile, self-important, id-driven biological organisms which create a whole manufactured reality around the simple concept of reproduction. What was the question again? It's not a special case, cheating is looked down upon in all situations because it is based in deception and lack of respect. Not respect like "respect my authority" but respect as in I am a human being with value. Cheating is about lying, not monogamy, it is entirely possible to be non monogamous without cheating. Relationship cheating is viewed as particularly heinous because it violates the faithful partner's right to consent. It is a unilateral and secret change to the relationship status with neither the consent or knowledge of one party. It exposes the faithful partner to both mental and physical health problems. This isn't some social construct this is basic behaviorism, trust is important for humans to feel safe with someone, when you trust someone and they betray you it undermines your entire world. Then there is the ongoing deception and gas lighting where the faithful partner is essentially told that they are crazy or insecure when they detect something wrong. Once they do discover the deception it causes them to question their judgement and being. The cheater will feel so powerful and clever that they can fool their partner even though they have the advantage of being the only one aware of the power play. The faithful partner assumes that there cheater has their back yet finds that they've been stabbed in it. It's called betrayal for a reason, just as a spy and saboteur can cause immense damage because they aren't being guarded against the cheater can cause immense damage to the faithful partner. Oh and on the subject, if you ask if it's cheating, then it probably is. 1
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