Author ilovemusic3 Posted January 29, 2016 Author Posted January 29, 2016 I do have pictures up with me smiling, and I think they are good pics, I can't imagine taking ones that look better than them. And I don't know how to make my profile more funny or interesting. I just say some things about my likes and dislikes and some things about me.
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 I do have pictures up with me smiling, and I think they are good pics, I can't imagine taking ones that look better than them. And I don't know how to make my profile more funny or interesting. I just say some things about my likes and dislikes and some things about me. I had to chuckle at the people here that say, "Get better photos" as they were already assuming the OP had not-so-great photos. A guy that's short and bald is still going to be short and bald regardless of the lighting / environment he's in and if that's not what she's into, that's not what she's into. I've even seen grainy photos of a woman that I thought was cute.
Zippy2000 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Its also to do with the "Child in the sweet shop syndrome". For OLD its like you are a kid in a sweet shop looking to get every sweetie there is on offer and thinking the next sweet is going to be better than the next. You have a lot of choices on OLD and people also set their expectations higher I ve noticed since I ve also grown older. Not a lot of women message me now. Im 41 and feel invisible to the younger men on there. Do OLD and IRL (In Real Life) dating to double your chances.
TheArtist Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 A guy that's short and bald is still going to be short and bald regardless of the lighting / environment he's in and if that's not what she's into, that's not what she's into. Mark Strong, Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, The Rock, Woody Harrelson, Bruce Willis, Samuel L Jackson, Ben Kingsley... You've got to use what you have and MAKE it work. No excuses! From a fellow slaphead.
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Mark Strong, Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, The Rock, Woody Harrelson, Bruce Willis, Samuel L Jackson, Ben Kingsley... You've got to use what you have and MAKE it work. No excuses! From a fellow slaphead. I think we're getting off topic here. We're talking about photos, apparently she did use good photos, so since she has the "Ben Kingsley" of photos, she's still not getting results....so it's all moot.
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Wrong. I don't respond to uninspired messages. I've got dozens sitting there that are all some variation of "hey." If you read a whole interesting, engaging profile and that's the best thing you can come up with, no one worth their salt will want to go out with you. It shows a lack of creativity and judgment. The same goes for the profile. If doesn't display any personality or character, they'd better be sure they display some in the first message. Otherwise the assumption will be made that they're exactly as boring as they portray themselves to be. Just curious, the messages that just say, "Hey"...how do their profiles read? Interestingly enough, I got an answer from someone on OK Cupid with a diff. perspective. All she had was some short message about "How men get catfished on here, and I'm real...go check out <her instagram screen name>" That's ALL she had, nothing else, she later claimed "It's just a dating profile, not the Constitution (referring to the lengthy document). So apparently, some feel justified in keeping their main profile short and sweet to the point where it lacks substance. I think that's how TINDER gained popularity. It is meant for people too lazy to type up anything of significance.
L3ANNE Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 What I would say is be careful as most men on these sites are not single and are out to cheat on wife's/girlfriends and be disloyal as I've learnt my partner was doing so. And men become addicted to talking to women and won't give it up once they have met someone.
Toodaloo Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 I sat and listened to two men discussing womens profiles last night. This is what they said. Around 90-95% are not worth contacting or speaking to. Their pictures may be good or may be rubbish but their profiles were either 1. Dull 2. Screaming "I hate men" 3. Screaming "daddy issues" 4. Screaming "entertain me" They would click on the nice photos then run a mile. If the write up was good with poor photos they would stop a while. Both are decent men (well I know for sure one is as I am related) the other I have only known a short time. They discussed photos a bit but they were not all that bothered by them as they recognise that people are who they are. They were more interested in what people had written. Made me feel better it has to be said. Most of my dates when I ask about mine just say I sounded fun and happy and that is why they wanted to meet me. 4
Larryville Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Ladies, take these into consideration no matter if you are in your 20’s or 60’s The dudes list to screen out the time wasters, not about looks but presentation... No photo, or a grainy, out-of-focus or outdated photo, are a sign that the person probably has something to hide, or else is not really serious about the dating process. Photos where they are lying on their belly trying to look sexy ANY Photos where they try to look sexy – turning to the side to show their butts Too many freaking bathroom selfies Holding drinks in photos Ton of photos, it could mean they’re a little self-absorbed. Do they have a photo of themselves with another person cut out of it? That’s a huge red flag on so many levels. “Main” photo with a pet Kids in ANY photo, especially their grown kids… Is there someone or something else in all of their photos? It’s good to have outside interests. But if their dog, friends, boat or even their kids are in ALL their photos, it may tell you a little about where you’ll stand. Main photo of them standing in the distance Car selfies with sunglasses on... hell sunglasses on in any freaking picture Profile references "I'm trying to lose weight" or "I've been working out a lot lately" Too many religious references particularly when the references don't jive with the photos or other language in the profile. Self-description: If the user name or headline is weird, overtly sexual or otherwise inappropriate Too much humor... usually a sign that the person is insecure Marital status: “separated” because separated people are nowhere near done. They may be on a trial separation, seeking variety, or way too fresh from a bad relationship to date seriously.” And if the person is still talking about their ex, that’s a red flag. What he/she’s looking for: Requiring too much or too little are both red flags. You’ll never live up to the laundry list. "accept me as I am" "I want a real man" Significant amount of ALL CAPS in profile for no good reason. 2
TheArtist Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 (edited) Could not agree with Larry more! The main thing is a good, clear headshot, with a huge and genuine smile - instantly you're more attractive! That draws men in. Then you need a good write up to make them stay. What reason is there that I should contact you over the next girl? Convince me! And stop writing 'Just ask xxx' as your profile because no one is going to, I promise you that. And please, for the love of all that's holy, stop pouting and pulling out your tongues! Edited January 29, 2016 by TheArtist 1
Larryville Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 stop pouting and pulling out your tongues! Aw man this drives me insane, but what is worse is has absolutely nothing to do with age, women in their late 50's do this crap. Ladies it is not cute, its just dumb. Now if you don't care about attracting guys fine, but simplicity is always better. 1
PegNosePete Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 I had to chuckle at the people here that say, "Get better photos" as they were already assuming the OP had not-so-great photos. Yes, and I am still assuming that. Almost everyone thinks they have great photos. Even when they come to the profile reviews forum, they say "my photos are fine so it can't be that...". Wake up... it IS that! Photos usually SUCK even when the OP says they have great photos. I haven't seen the OP's profile so I can't say for sure. All I can say is that 90% of the time when people say "my photos are great", they are not. So statistics says the OP's photos are probably bad, even though she says they aren't. I don't know how to make my profile more funny or interesting. I just say some things about my likes and dislikes and some things about me. Right, so basically you have a boring profile that is just like everyone else's, reads like a washing machine instruction manual rather than an ADVERT. You don't stand out from the crowd at all. That is probably why you're not having much success. their profiles were either 1. Dull 2. Screaming "I hate men" 3. Screaming "daddy issues" 4. Screaming "entertain me" They would click on the nice photos then run a mile. If the write up was good with poor photos they would stop a while. Haha! Yes that is definitely true. My ex-housemate and I used to send profiles to each other to laugh at. Usually the comment was "look at this one, she looks nice, but why would any bloke ever sign up for THAT?!?!" - usually the reasons 2, 3 or 4 above. There were lots of 1's too but they weren't any good to show each other and laugh at. I saw a hell of a lot of profiles that I would not touch with someone else's barge pole! 3
normal person Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Just curious, the messages that just say, "Hey"...how do their profiles read? That's the thing, if the message is that bad, I don't even look at the profile because I assume it can't be any better, or I'm already turned off enough by the lack of creativity in the message. As I guess most others are. Interestingly enough, I got an answer from someone on OK Cupid with a diff. perspective. All she had was some short message about "How men get catfished on here, and I'm real...go check out <her instagram screen name>" That's ALL she had, nothing else, she later claimed "It's just a dating profile, not the Constitution (referring to the lengthy document). So apparently, some feel justified in keeping their main profile short and sweet to the point where it lacks substance. For sure, everyone's in it for different reasons. For some people these days, having an appealing instagram might be their first priority and say more than a profile ever could. It might work, it might not. Some people just aren't that great at writing about themselves. And let's face it, pictures can tell you a lot about a person. Not the whole story, but a much different perspective. Personally, I'd rather she just fill out the section where she explains what she does for a living rather than just showing an instagram of her trying to look sexy at a desk, but that's just me. I think that's how TINDER gained popularity. It is meant for people too lazy to type up anything of significance. I think it's more for people who actively don't really care what's written rather than those who are too lazy. 1
truth_seeker Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 But she's a woman, and she's contacting men. If a woman contacts me on a dating site, a poor profile isn't going to keep from replying. If a woman contacts me and she's unattractive, overweight I either ignore or will reply if she writes me a nice message. If she writes me a nice message, I usually reply only to say no thank you. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 No joke, I saw a woman take a picture of her boobs while she was in the pool...at water level. She had the caption "t*t selfie" LOL
Miss Peach Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Did they change the amount of interest you got? It did. It also got me cuter guys. It was enough the site I was on said I was rated among the most attractive and therefore they would send me better looking matches. Also rewriting my profile from scratch after coming out of a relationship helped. I accidentally had both up for a few days. The first profile it was a lot of guys looking for hookups. The second one it was a lot of seemingly quality guys. Different pics and content so I'm not sure which did it but I would only use the latter one next time I do OLD. I do have pictures up with me smiling, and I think they are good pics, I can't imagine taking ones that look better than them. And I don't know how to make my profile more funny or interesting. I just say some things about my likes and dislikes and some things about me. I thought my pics were good too. But guys focus in on different things. In mine my guy friends said my eyes looked weird on the ones I thought looked good. The ones they picked out I hated my hair but they said that guys wouldn't be that picky about that. Another thing is read a bunch of women's profiles. So many of them sound the same. Just like a man it helps to write things that make you different than all those women. You might not catch every day with those things but the ones that are a good match will like them.
Miss Peach Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Just curious, the messages that just say, "Hey"...how do their profiles read? I have never found one of those types of messages to ever turn out to anything more substantial so I just ignore them now. I had tried several times to respond but the guy made me do ALL the lifting just to keep it going. If a guy can't make an effort to put something into a message other than some variation of 'Hi" or "How are you?" then I really doubt IRL the conversation would be much better. I know women may do the same but my primary experience with OLD is with men. 1
AMJ Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Try different sites! OKCupid is a little overplayed, I think people tend to gravitate towards the "cool new" dating sites. Right now Bumble or Happnd are newer, but it also depends on where you live. Match is tried and true to get decent people, and I have mixed feelings about EHarmony. Not getting responses doesn't necessarily mean your photos aren't good, but maybe what you've written in your profile is a turn-off. My advice is the simpler, the better. No one wants to spend more than 30 seconds deciding whether or not they want to talk to you, because there are so many more profiles they need to fish through. It's best to make yourself look intriguing and leave a person wanting to know more. This is the complete opposite of a resume. You don't need to list all 25 of your hobbies, or every city you've lived in, what you do for work, etc. Keep it short, give them a reason to talk to you and ask questions about yourself. You may want to broaden your own standards about the types of guys you're trying to talk to. One of my closest friends says, "If I had to rely on online dating to meet my husband, we would have never met! I would have never been interested in him based on his pictures or whatever nonsense he would write in a profile". Which means, we never know who we will have chemistry with. OLD makes both men and women more lazy- and more selective than we'd normally be. People get hung up on things like age, occupation, height, religion, eye color, weight....much moreso in OLD than we did before OLD existed. You're too young to know what I'm talking about, but it's true!
SwordofFlame Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 OP, have you tried Tinder? Bumble? You don't even need to write a good profile for those.
Larryville Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Another thing that kills me about women is they will have lots of “I love God” or I go to Church every Sunday” or a bunch of religious fanaticism in the profile and “demand” they their ideal guy be "Christian" and yet the photographs are overly sexual, overhead shots clearly showing chest, in some sort of tight cocktail dress, oversexualized poses and the kicker the username is “sexualized” Hotsexymama or “sexy (insert favorite college nickname) shows either complete cluelessness or they truly don’t give a damn or are simply using the site to entertain themselves, they just want attention. The end result is when the guy figures out he has wasted his time he takes that out on future women who are sincere in their efforts to find a decent guy. Bottom line other women are more responsible for the behaviors of guys than guys ignoring, lying playing games or being insincere.
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