mira80 Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Hi everyone I'm new here. I'm 35yrs old and I was in a relationship for almost 3 years with my gf who was 27yrs old. So 6 weeks ago we got into a silly fight and I snapped and yelled at her. She just got up and left. She then ignored me for about a week. She then finally msg'd me and said she doesn't think we're right for each other and is thinking of breaking up. So naturally I begged and apologized and asked for a last chance. She said she gave me many chances to change. Then eventually she said give her some time to think about it. She went on vacation for 2 weeks and didn't really talk to me during that time. When she came back, she would only talk to me via text msgs and was very distant in our conversations. Then after 2 weeks she said she was ready to see me and talk in person. That's when she broke up with me. But while she was breaking up with me, she was still kissing me, touching my face and telling me she doesn't want me to leave yet. She even brought me a gift back from vacation to give to me as an xmas gift. I begged and begged and promised it would be different this time and she says she's just sick and tired of waiting for me to change and she's not getting any younger so she doesn't want to wait anymore. And also her mom doesn't approve of me as well and she's tired of defending me against her mom. The biggest problems she wanted change in is my temper, and lack of communication. She's adamant in not giving me another chance, because she says the last time we fought, she said this is your last chance. BUT everytime she has given me a chance or I said I will change was via text msgs. I tried to explain to her thats not a way to communicate and that these things we should talk about in person or even over the phone but she always says no and has to be over text msgs. And this is the first time I've ever asked her in person to give me one last chance. She told me she still loves me but just doesn't want to be with me anymore. I love her so much and she's my everything. All choices I've made in the past few yrs were all for her. I'm so hurt right now, and I don't want to give up on her. Esp knowing she still loves me. Is there anything I can do? I've been hurting so much and I feel my life has no purpose anymore.
Methodical Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 I don't want to beat up on you when you're down, but these silly arguments, your temper, and lack of communication (which is vital in meaningful relationships) are apparently ongoing issues. She has expressed concern and you've promised to change, yet the end result has been more of the same. I suspect she took the break, did some soul searching, weighed the pros and cons and although she has feelings for you, she believes your promises are empty appeasements that are temporary at best. You say she has warned you, given you last chances on more than one occasion. This time, she's staying true to her word. The only thing you can do is put forth effort that shows you are trying to improve and hope she notices and has a change of heart. Honestly, it sounds like it may be too late. 2
Author mira80 Posted January 28, 2016 Author Posted January 28, 2016 But everytime she gave me a chance was over text msgs and I've told her we can't communicate like this, we must talk in person when there are problems because there's no emotions or sincerity over text mgs. But she says no everytime. This is the first time me asking her in person for a last chance.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 But everytime she gave me a chance was over text msgs and I've told her we can't communicate like this, we must talk in person when there are problems because there's no emotions or sincerity over text mgs. But she says no everytime. This is the first time me asking her in person for a last chance. I think regardless of how it came about, she's been pretty clear: your temper sucks, she ain't happy with it and she has some weird baggage about her Mom. So, if you want to avoid this in the future, work on your temper. Go to anger management. Or domestic support. Or find someone that is more lax in that department. Why should she keep giving you chances if you are just going to steamroll through them? 1
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