beesknees Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 ok, i've heard this happening so often, i just have to ask why... my friend went out w/ this guy for 4 years, then he up and dumps her without telling her. he just "disappears"- no phone calls, emails, nothing. he's 35. then, he just up and puts an profile online, and starts dating & sexing other women right away! meanwhile, she's stuck in a rut, heartbroken, and doesn't understand what happened. it seemed they were doing so well, so in love. she said there was no fight- he just started saying he was busy w/ work, and never got back to her. what gives? does anyone know?
sweetadeline Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 If that's how he treats someone that he dated for four years, she is better off without him.
smile95 Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 I am in that same situation....minus the online dating part. Who knows why they do it. I guess the run when things get overwhelming or complicated and it is easier to say nothing than to explain feelings I guess? TEll her to move on and as soon as he sees her w/ someone else he will call her! lol
whichwayisup Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by beesknees ok, i've heard this happening so often, i just have to ask why... my friend went out w/ this guy for 4 years, then he up and dumps her without telling her. he just "disappears"- no phone calls, emails, nothing. he's 35. then, he just up and puts an profile online, and starts dating & sexing other women right away! meanwhile, she's stuck in a rut, heartbroken, and doesn't understand what happened. it seemed they were doing so well, so in love. she said there was no fight- he just started saying he was busy w/ work, and never got back to her. what gives? does anyone know? Outta sight outta mind...No guilt, and they don't have to do deal with any responsibility. 4 years? That guy is a total f#@*$*(&%*@( and then some! I wonder if he can look in the mirror? I wonder if he can sleep really well at night. What a complete A-hole and a LOSER. She is better off without him. Ha! She should reply to his online persona and screw him around..........But then again, he isn't worth the effort. I bet ya there is something "wrong" with him. Most normal and nice people do not do that - Especially after 4 years.
Fallen_Angel Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 I don't know what gives. Sorry. But this guy sounds like a royal schmuck. A total a-hole. A toad. A long list of very nasty words I won't bore you all with... I'm stuck in a similar rut, as my ex is basically ignoring me. Again, what a toad! Tell her at least she no longer has to put up with his ish. He's now someone else's problem. Plus, karma will catch up with him in the end.
outdated Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Not even worth her time. I know it's a heartbreaker for her, but better now than later. I mean, what kind of person does that? A-hole.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by beesknees ok, i've heard this happening so often, i just have to ask why... my friend went out w/ this guy for 4 years, then he up and dumps her without telling her. he just "disappears"- no phone calls, emails, nothing. he's 35. then, he just up and puts an profile online, and starts dating & sexing other women right away! meanwhile, she's stuck in a rut, heartbroken, and doesn't understand what happened. it seemed they were doing so well, so in love. she said there was no fight- he just started saying he was busy w/ work, and never got back to her. what gives? does anyone know? I dunno. Why did my ex, 28 up and dump me out of nowhere for someone else. No warning, nothing. Just met another guy and basically said "Take a hike, I like this guy better..." It works both ways....
Weird Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Not just a guy thing. Seems women do it too based on posts I have read. The real question is- Why are humans such morons? As for this guy...he sounds like a douchebag and she should be thankful the piece of trash is out of her life.
outdated Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 Originally posted by Weird Not just a guy thing. Seems women do it too based on posts I have read. The real question is- Why are humans such morons? As for this guy...he sounds like a douchebag and she should be thankful the piece of trash is out of her life. It's definitely not a guy thing. That's for sure. Women do it too. Everybody's stupid. Grass is always blah blah blah............. the good news is that Karma does exist. It may not come in the way of a jilted lover, but it'll come. Muahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa.....excellent. And that dude is a douchebag. More vinegar than water.
XNemesisX Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 What an ogre. That guy doesn't deserve to breathe the same oxygen as other people. My ex did this to me the first time we had a "real" breakup. It was right after I found out I was pregnant and he vanished off the face of the planet. Couldn't get a hold of him, wouldn't call me back..you name it. We had dated a long time too (not 4 years mind you) but well over a year at that point. I ended up losing the baby from the stress this caused me. Why do people do this? Because they are cowards and can't face someone and break up with them like a decent human being would. They are selfish, egotistical, cowardly, immature, wretched pieces of shyt. They don't want to actually feel bad for what they are doing and if they ignore the person they don't have to face the hurt they have caused someone else. Your friend is certainly better off without this f***tard.
BigB Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 My ex girlfriend did this.. and we lived together! just poof, gone.
Author beesknees Posted June 8, 2005 Author Posted June 8, 2005 she replied to one of his personals ads last night from a different email and he took the bait. he asked her for a pic, and she sent him one of them together. so, he didn't reply and automatically deleted his ad. he took the day off of work today... we figured he was shocked she found out and maybe he had a hard time sleeping. good! turns out he had a new ad up on a swingers site today looking for 3somes! she confronted him about it, and he took the ad and his pics off right away again, but he emailed her that he was thinking of killing himself for a long time now, and congratulations, he hopes she's happy w/ herself. WTF?? and if he's gonna have the ads up in the first place, and keep putting them up on different sites, why bother to take them down? it's obviously over between the two of them. do u think he's just afraid of her seeing what he's doing? oh, and didn't meant to offend the guys here... it's just this F&*()#$%^& is messing w/ my friend's heart. yeah, i know it goes both ways.
MySugaree Posted June 8, 2005 Posted June 8, 2005 That guy is a total f#@*$*(&%*@( and then some! this guy sounds like a royal schmuck. A total a-hole. A toad. what kind of person does that? A-hole As for this guy...he sounds like a douchebag and she should be thankful the piece of trash is out of her life. And that dude is a douchebag. More vinegar than water What an ogre. That guy doesn't deserve to breathe the same oxygen as other people. selfish, egotistical, cowardly, immature, wretched pieces of shyt Well, the "reviews" are in and it's thumbs down. I don't know what bothers folks more: the "fact" of the break-up after 4 years; the "manner" of the break-up; or the guy's post-break-up "swinging" behavior. As for the fact of the break-up, what's to condemn? He wasn't under contract--marital or otherwise. They dated for four years and then he left her. That happens--every day. No crime has been committed. As for the manner of the break-up, did he owe her a duty to not just disappear without an explanation? What could he have told her:"After 4 years I'm bored with you, the sex is blah, the spark is gone and I want to experience sex with other women that is more exciting, fulfilling and rewarding than anything I had with you." "I'm a swinger wanna-be." The truth cuts deep. I doubt this fellow's press would be any better had he told his jilted lover the true reasons for the break-up. I'd rather have a woman disappear than tell me I was a lousy fu*k. But then, that's just me. As for his post-break-up advertising for new partners, the relationship is over. He's free to "connect" with whomever he wants and in whatever permutation so long as children and animals are not involved. He's an adult, and a free man. If swinging is his cup of java, more power to him. Personally, I'd pass. So I cannot join this chorus of boo's. While I won't applaud him, I cannot indict him. Relationships are high wire acts, and there's never a net. And one always falls...
smile95 Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 your friend should be very glad she did not marry him! I know that must hurt a lot to find that out and to see him online. I wish her the best and tell her that she is so much better than this and to cut her losses now. What a slimeball!!
Jadey Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 My mums ex done something similar to her. One morning he said "julie i love you so much and i always will" and never came back. It turned out he left because he was in alotof trouble and didnt want to involve us. But i mean ****,come on,you should never just leave! Whatever happend to communication?! lmao. Its a big shame cos he loves us alland weloved him.But it wouldnt have hurt to write aletter, call, anything.He could have been dead for allwe knew.Its only when my sister saw him the other week we knew what was goin on This guy is a complete twat..And it must be heartbreaking but she is SO lucky hes outta her life, for real. He has issues. Guys like to run away from their problems i guess
Author beesknees Posted June 9, 2005 Author Posted June 9, 2005 yeah, she's heartbroken pretty bad and i told her all the same stuff, but i printed out all your replies so she could read 'em and she is feeling A LOT better! ALL he had to do was let her know he wasn't coming back so she could move on w/ her life. she didn't have to find his stinkin' profiles like she did. if he had already told her it was over, it's like, fine... but last thing he had told her was that he loved her and everything was fine.
BrotherAaron Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 If my SO just disappeared after 4 years... I'd call the cops. There'd be a manhunt. It'd be "Look over there, in the weeds, I think I see somebody!!" I'd be worried sick that she was dead, and she'd know it because Gretta Van Sustren would be issuing an Amber Alert on Fox News Primetime with a grainy picture of her. It'd make a great story for all the dates I'd be going on 2 weeks later when I found out she was just "bored" and didn't have the balls to say so.
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