Lobouspo Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Say you are in a LDR with someone in a different country. You committed to buy a $350 Tissot watch that a relative is getting at a bargain rate because this relative works for the company. Things are on the rocks between us, but I committed to buy the watch. Would you pay the $350 and blindly trust person to send you the watch. Here is what bugs me. She told me she used to skip out on restaurant tabs with a guy she used to date, and just kind of laughed about it, and didn't express any remorse or guilt about it. This guy had a lot of money. So it was just for laughs, which is concerning to me. Are my worries valid? Especially it looks like breakup may be imminent and we have no plans to meet again. Would I be an idiot sending the money and trusting her to send me the watch? Any opinions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
eye of the storm Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Personally, I wouldn't. If things are bad between you the odds are not in your favor. 1
Wewon Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Here is what bugs me. She told me she used to skip out on restaurant tabs with a guy she used to date, and just kind of laughed about it, and didn't express any remorse or guilt about it. Your concerns are legit. She's done crappy things in the past (and obviously rationalized it) and still doesn't seem remorseful. I would suspect that she would somehow rationalize anything when it works to her advantage.
Author Lobouspo Posted January 27, 2016 Author Posted January 27, 2016 She acted like it wasn't really a big deal, because restaurants have money, but does this speak to a major character issue?
WaitingForBardot Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 She acted like it wasn't really a big deal, because restaurants have money, but does this speak to a major character issue? I guess only if you regard stealing (from anyone) as a major character issue. I do. 3
eye of the storm Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Most wait staff I know either get their pay docked for dine and dashes or they get written up and or fired for it. My daughter had a group walk out on her with a tab of almost $300.00. If the bouncer hadn't called the cops and they hadn't gotten picked up down the street, she would have had to cover it. When you dine and dash. you are not "sticking it to the man" you are hurting someone that desperately needs that income. It is stealing and it is illegal. 4
Wewon Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 She acted like it wasn't really a big deal, because restaurants have money, but does this speak to a major character issue? This has simply been MY observation, people that do that can ultimately rationalize anything that they want. To me, this isn't about running out on the tab, its about holding herself accountable for what she's done. You can probably think several situations where this mindset has manifested itself.
Author Lobouspo Posted January 27, 2016 Author Posted January 27, 2016 This has simply been MY observation, people that do that can ultimately rationalize anything that they want. To me, this isn't about running out on the tab, its about holding herself accountable for what she's done. You can probably think several situations where this mindset has manifested itself. Yeah, its the flippant attitude that bugs me, and makes me wonder if I would ever get the watch. TBH, when I was 7 years old I got busted with some friends stealing from a store. BUT it happened when I was 7. I know it was wrong, and even though I'm a kid, I'm still terribly embarrassed about it to this day.
GunslingerRoland Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 When you dine and dash. you are not "sticking it to the man" you are hurting someone that desperately needs that income. Well, even calling restaurant owners "the man" (unless you are talking about large corporately owned ones) is a misleading, having had multiple people in my family own restaurants, it isn't really a big windfall of money to begin with. Most restaurant owners hardly fall in the 1% or whatever category you want to use for the rich. 1
spiderowl Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 Is this woman trustworthy at all? Do you know her relative actually works for this company? Why would she arrange for you to get an expensive watch? Was it her idea or yours? It seems a rash thing to do to commit yourself to buying anything from abroad via someone else. Ask if her relative has bought the watch. If they haven't, tell her you don't want it now and to stop the deal. If they have, it could be a bit more awkward (even assuming she's telling the truth that she's really getting this watch via her friend). Has she carried out her word on anything else before? I would not buy anything from abroad from an unauthorised dealer. It's just not worth the risk. If the watch goes wrong, what comeback do you have against the company. Plus, you do not know if the friend is getting it legitimately, even if they are actually getting it. I'd say back out quickly. If he's bought the watch, ask to see evidence and the serial number. If he hasn't really got it for you, but it is some sort of scam, he may baulk at giving you a serial number that can be traced.
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