cowgirl Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Hello everyone, At the moment Im in a relationship with a person and its almost 12mths on. At the start is was a bit shaky because we are complete opposites in likes and dislikes but he made me happy so I was determined to give it my all. At the moment he is building a new home and we will be moving in together once it is finished in a few months. I have been engaged before and got very hurt last time when that was all over but that is the past and Ive moved on with this wonderful person but it has made me very cautious this time around taking that step again. I am a very family orientated person and I want kids in the future. I turn 31 next week and I would like at least one in the next couple of years. He's unsure if he wants kids and we have discussed it and decided that we'll see what happens when the time comes. Last night my mother asked he and I to go for dinner this weekend for my birthday and when I asked him he said yeh ok. I asked him if he really wanted to go and he said " if you want me to go I will". I told him don't go because I want you to, go because you want to go. I told him Im very family orientated and I don't want to be with someone who isnt. He said he never grew up that way, he always had his parents fighting and then they split and I think thats alot of the reason he feels that way. He lives quite a distance to all his family except his father who lives in the same town and he is very close to. I told him in the heat of things last night that we both need to have a good think about if we have a future and told him I'll call him in a few days. I just want time out to think on my own. I am thinking of moving on as Im so tired of being unsure if I'll have any kids with this guy if it gets that far and worrying about whether he really likes my family. I really love him and I don't want to lose him but I may not have a choice but to move on and find someone who is similar to me. Thanks for taking time to read my forum and I hope you could give me some helpful advice to think about. Regards,
seagirl Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 The bad part about your relationship is you are sure that you want kids and he is unsure about it, the bad part is both of you are right. Neither of you should have to give up anything and neither of you should be making the other feel guilty about your own needs and wants. What happens if you are to "wait and see what happens" and then he decides he doesn't want kids? Is this something you can be ok with? You don't want to have kids with someone who really doesn't want them the kids will suffer for it and so will you. Think very hard if this is the right man for you. Good luck.
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