GlobeTrotter9 Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 So my ex broke up with me very suddenly mid November and was with another guy within 5 days. I took it hard but ever since the new year have been doing much better. Today is her birthday though and for some reason its making me feel really really down about it again. It doesn't help the fact that when I logged into facebook this morning, despite not being friends with her anymore a picture which mutual friends commented on of her and her new guy having a romantic getaway for her birthday popped up on my newsfeed. Bit of a kick in the balls really. I have no idea why I'm feeling down and I figured I'd rather post something on here to see if people have had some similiar experiences. I've seen pictures of them together looking all couply since the break up which hurt but it didn't bother me half as much as the one I saw today. Why am I suddenly heading back in the wrong direction?! 1
Author GlobeTrotter9 Posted January 27, 2016 Author Posted January 27, 2016 Oh and now she's also changed her relationship status to in a relationship with this guy. Great...
RySant Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 That's my problem with people who can easily jump into another relationship. It's as if they have no respect to their ex's feelings or respect to your personhood already. All I can say is, don't look at her FB already. Block her. So that you won't be able to see anything from her. You doing this will just prolong the recovery and will just give you fresh new wounds to lick by. Find a girl that would love you. She's just around the corner
Brando Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Ouch!!! I know how that goes! I was fresh out of a breakup and went on instagram and had a mutual friend post a pic of my ex out with all her girlfriends. Luckily, no guys in the picture, but she was all done up, lipstick, tight red dress...the whole 9 yards.... Killed me and brought back some pain. I already had her blocked (and plan on keeping it that way forever at this point). I then had to block all her friends and mutual friends. I don't care about blocking anyone if it keeps me from having to see or know anything that will hurt my healing process!! You should do the same!!!
CDJ Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 My ex had her birthday two weeks after we broke up. She'd been telling me in those two week that she missed me and still loved me (though the break-up was more her choice). I wanted to drop off the presents I'd bought for her over her bday weekend when she was at work, but she asked me to come when she was at home so that she could see me. When I got there, she had a guy in her bed. She's in a relationship with him now. Suffice to say, I won't be wishing her a happy birthday this year! You know what you're doing wrong; you're torturing yourself by looking at her social media photos. But the compulsion is too much, isn't it? You can't help yourself. I went through the same thing; in fact, I still look from time to time. But trust me, it gets easier and you'll eventually check less often. You basically have to get through checkpoints: the first time you work out there's another guy; the first time you know they're official; the first photo; the first time his/her friends and family start commenting/'liking' these things. Each one is a dagger in the heart (I came across one this morning, 5 months after the break-up, which gave me that numb feeling again). But each time you pass through one of these checkpoints it becomes easier to see - you've just got to brace yourself and do you best to fight the urge to look! 2
Author GlobeTrotter9 Posted January 27, 2016 Author Posted January 27, 2016 That's my problem with people who can easily jump into another relationship. It's as if they have no respect to their ex's feelings or respect to your personhood already. - tell me about it mate! 3 years together and replaced in 5 days like everything meant nothing at all. Absolutely destroyed my confidence and will to actually get back out there. Still got a while to go yet before I can even think about seeing other people. After seeing that picture this morning I keep teetering between being upset and angry. I just can't understand why today being her birthday feels like such a big thing?!
PegNosePete Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Oh and now she's also changed her relationship status to in a relationship with this guy. Great... Stop stalking her. BLOCK her. 2
DarkHorizon Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Completely agree with pegnosepete. Block her. Completely. Cut all chances of seeing or reading or hearing about her. Treat her as she is dead. You have to stop the bleeding.
CDJ Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 That's my problem with people who can easily jump into another relationship. It's as if they have no respect to their ex's feelings or respect to your personhood already. - tell me about it mate! 3 years together and replaced in 5 days like everything meant nothing at all. Absolutely destroyed my confidence and will to actually get back out there. Still got a while to go yet before I can even think about seeing other people. After seeing that picture this morning I keep teetering between being upset and angry. I just can't understand why today being her birthday feels like such a big thing?! It feels like such a big thing because you would otherwise be spending it with her. It's a landmark occasion that you're missing out on. And with regards to her moving on so quickly: it might be that she just rebounds like that; that she needs the attention/to not feel lonely; or, she moved on in her mind long ago and was more than ready by the time you broke up. But you'll never know, unfortunately, and it's a difficult thing to accept. Hurts like hell, I know.
Wewon Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 So my ex broke up with me very suddenly mid November and was with another guy within 5 days. I took it hard but ever since the new year have been doing much better. Today is her birthday though and for some reason its making me feel really really down about it again. It doesn't help the fact that when I logged into facebook this morning, despite not being friends with her anymore a picture which mutual friends commented on of her and her new guy having a romantic getaway for her birthday popped up on my newsfeed. Bit of a kick in the balls really. I have no idea why I'm feeling down and I figured I'd rather post something on here to see if people have had some similiar experiences. I've seen pictures of them together looking all couply since the break up which hurt but it didn't bother me half as much as the one I saw today. Why am I suddenly heading back in the wrong direction?! I'm not going to pretend that I can understand all of the nuances of social media, or if its possible to not see what your friends say to people that you aren't friends with, but avoid social media so that you aren't seeing things involuntarily. Also, do the things that you are capable of (blocking, unfriending etc. ) Break ups are tough as matter of course, but the hardest parts seem to be things like birthdays, anniversary's, holidays and milestones. Add this on top of routine rituals such as set date nights or specific activities and you have a virtual mine field ripe to set you back at any time. Its on you to learn this minefield and avoid the 'pops'. This is when people weaken and start making humiliating pleads to reconcile. Social media seems to be designed to put all of those potential triggers front and center, avoid it during those periods, and keep yourself busy/develop new routines to eclipse the old ones.
Toodaloo Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Block her, take all mutual friends off of your news feed. The kick in the balls is one you have caused to yourself. Time to let yourself heal. New guy will probably be bled dry and ditched in the same way when she has had enough so you have nothing to be jealous about. If you are jealous then why are you not getting up off your bottom and doing fun things instead of moping about? Globetrotter? Its time to live up to your name. Up up and at 'em! 1
losangelena Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 It was my ex's birthday on Sunday. I know how you feel.
greenleaves54 Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 Ups and downs mate! Soon you will feel better. Then in some time a little worse again, then better again. It's only natural. Hurtful reminders pop up now and then. But after some time you realize you care less and less. And all of a sudden you got a new amazing girl to think about. Let her stay confused in her rebound relationship. Whatever. There's a whole world to explore out there! Just keep marching on 1
Recommended Posts