Revolver Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Hear me out. I remember a couple years ago me, my brother, and 3 of his female friends were in a car driving out of state and the conversation turned into the topic of "dumb things guys say to ruin their chances". All the women basically had so many stories of times they were going to sleep with a guy but he just said something that turned them off instantly. Ladies of lovedhack how often has this happened to you in your life? Are there any specific examples of comments? I'm only asking this is as I've looked and analyzed my life thinking about times I could potentially got sex but I made a girl feel uncomfortable or said something stupid that ruined my chances
Michelle ma Belle Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Umm yeah. Too many to count. I think most men try WAY too hard, with me anyway, and it wreaks of desperation and ultimately becomes a turn off. I like men who have a humble confidence about them and who are relaxed around me. It's not just what they say but how they behave that can kill any chance of having sex with me. 6
Toodaloo Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Yes it has happened. More times than you would think. Normally by guys who just pick the wrong moment to say something. Or guys who just want to get laid as they actually have no interest other than their penis... I do this on purpose if a guy is coming on strong and I am not "there" or not interested and he is not taking no for an answer. I will come up with something so weird or grim that its like a light switch being turned off... Its very easy once you know how. Most recent was "I am the tooth fairy and I am going to pull out all of your teeth and give them to old people who don't have any"... That was this morning. Those who know me and knew what I was doing had to retreat and take cover because they were laughing so hard... The poor chap was scared... To be fair I did put a strange "out of this world" smile on my face to go with it... Just for effect... and I was busy and needed to get on with my work so it shut him up and got him out of my way 5
Author Revolver Posted January 26, 2016 Author Posted January 26, 2016 I remember I was watching a podcast and the dude said something to the effect of "when a girl after a date wants to come over my house or invites me back to her place on the ride over I don't say ONE WORD". I was laughing because there is elements of truth to that:laugh: 9
Just a Guy Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Gosh! Are guys so desperate for sex that they would badger a woman for it in such a brazen way? And are women just sex objects for men to satisfy their lust? How has it come to such a pass that a man can make such overt and crude requests or appeals and expect a self respecting woman to comply? Are there women out there who have fulfilled such crsaa desires on the part of men fuelling further crass behaviour in the future? Would a woman not feel disgusted at being treated in such a cavalier fashion. Toodaloo would you rather not have turned around and slapped the guy who approached you in that manner? Did you not feel insulted by the assumption that you were so easy to bed? I am surprised that a person should feel emboldened to try stuff like that. What happened to good old courtesy? If I was wanting to get cozy with a woman I guess I would first treat her like a Lady. What happened to wooing a lady and getting her in the right mood by courting her and making her feel important? Or is sex just a transaction now? You slam bang thank you ma'am and moving on. Or maybe I'm just outdated! 3
jen1447 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Nervous chatter ("it sure is cold in winter") and over the top compliments ("you're the most amazing person who's ever lived") and premature extreme bonding ("I feel like we've known each other since before time began") are bad. 6
Lois_Griffin Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Gosh! Are guys so desperate for sex that they would badger a woman for it in such a brazen way? Yes. Yes they are. :-D 2
Toodaloo Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Gosh! Are guys so desperate for sex that they would badger a woman for it in such a brazen way? And are women just sex objects for men to satisfy their lust? How has it come to such a pass that a man can make such overt and crude requests or appeals and expect a self respecting woman to comply? Are there women out there who have fulfilled such crsaa desires on the part of men fuelling further crass behaviour in the future? Would a woman not feel disgusted at being treated in such a cavalier fashion. Toodaloo would you rather not have turned around and slapped the guy who approached you in that manner? Did you not feel insulted by the assumption that you were so easy to bed? I am surprised that a person should feel emboldened to try stuff like that. What happened to good old courtesy? If I was wanting to get cozy with a woman I guess I would first treat her like a Lady. What happened to wooing a lady and getting her in the right mood by courting her and making her feel important? Or is sex just a transaction now? You slam bang thank you ma'am and moving on. Or maybe I'm just outdated! No JaG your just missing that some guys are tools and then there are also some who read pick up artist books and become said tools... this is the result of that... Needless to say they don't get "lucky"... 1
Gloria25 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I was just arguing about this over the weekend. How can you be sexy with being crude, desperate, and/or vulgar guys? My neighbor that I post about so much here? I was horny and attracted, I gave him my telephone and invited him over for a beer....and he ruined it. He was like "what are you doing NOW?" And, I was in my head like "slow down, I don't know you like that" And, that sorta took the wind out of my sails. I had planned chatting, seduction, etc...And, then I started wondering if he does this all the time, no self control, probably jackhammering/terrible sex. Probably gonna only want to hit it and run... GUYS, don't be so eager, take your time and work your way into it...geesh Then over the weekend I was online and ran across a profile of a dude. Handsome, tall, athletic, military, into black women@@@@!!!!! Then he starts talking about how big and satisfying his penis is and that he's not trying to be cocky, but is telling you that he's confident. GUYS, not all black women are size queens and at some point we may end up having sex with you, and at that time you can put on your "show"... I'm a sexy, passionate, and confident woman myself, but I don't have to walk around like Lady Gaga to show it. Trust me, I have shelves of sexy gear/wear to back it up. When guys do that, it's a turn off. You don't make me feel sexy, less is more and gradually work your way up to that point. Also, "first impressions last"....if the first thing you need to talk about is your penis size, then you're telling me you offer nothing else. So, I gather you're just gonna lay there and make me do all the work (been there/done that)...no thanks. Once we start dating, yes, dirty talk will come...spontaneous sex and/or quickies will come. But take your time when you just meet me...be smooooth
mrldii Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 As the other women have indicated, far too many to remember exact details. I'm one of those women studies have confirmed we know within the first 30 seconds of meeting you if you've at least got a shot. Back when I actually was attempting to use OLD as a way of meeting men, I had a meet-and-greet with a guy I'd exchanged a couple of emails and phone calls with. Upon actually meeting him, yeah...physically, he was pretty danged attractive. I already like his personality (thru emails and phone chats). During the 30-or-so minutes of our initial meeting, he didn't say more than one or two word responses, and only if I asked a question. He had nothing else to say...he simply sat there shaking like a leaf during the whole encounter. It was really pretty off-putting, and completely destroyed any chance of any future get-togethers. At the end, as I finished my coffee and began to get up to leave and saying, "It was nice meeting you...best of lu..." he cut me off and finally found his voice and had something - one thing - to say. "So...you wanna come back to my place and watch a movie or something?" Seriously?!? GTFOH. No, really...get that f**k - and any thought that goes along with it - outta here. 2
preraph Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Guys who start telling you right away what they want you to do, as if you're their paid prostitute. And my earliest experience with that was a first kiss, and the guy decided to tell me exactly how to do it. That was the last of him. Usually when guys do that, they've just been getting unrealistic notions from watching too much porn, and women recognize that, so that's a big turnoff too because they're thinking, Yeah, I'm probably the only live female this guy has seen this year, but he's telling me what to do because he thinks he knows what real sex is like even though he's clearly inexperienced. 2
loveweary11 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Small window of opportunity for us guys. You spend years honing your craft... Then all of a sudden, just when you know everything to get any woman's attention... You're starting to worry about getting old! 2
jen1447 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Small window of opportunity for us guys. You spend years honing your craft... Then all of a sudden, just when you know everything to get any woman's attention... You're starting to worry about getting old! Haha, I thought you were gonna relate a blood-flow induced relapse. Like - "Then all of a sudden, just when you know everything to get any woman's attention...you blurt out 'nickle-dime-dog-dick' while staring at her boobs.'"
Miss Peach Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 "So...you wanna come back to my place and watch a movie or something?" Seriously?!? GTFOH. No, really...get that f**k - and any thought that goes along with it - outta here. I HATE that line. I've seen it used to many times unsuccessfully. What good timing. Some friends and I were just chatting last night about douchey behavior. OP - Yes men can be good at talking themselves out of chances. I have talked to men who told me up front that all they wanted was physical. I didn't necessarily cut them because I knew the deal and could evaluate whether I wanted to take it. It's often in the way they say things and the timing IME. If they acted poorly during or after that cut them off from future chances with me.
Anderlie Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Oh I have one of those! Many years ago when I was single I was out on the town and saw a really gorgeous looking guy. He looked like a more stylish, more buff young Russell Crowe. He was Scottish and we got chatting, he was cheeky and cute and his accent was slaying me. After a few hours and a lot more drinks on his part he started getting a little much but.... still gorgeous so I overlooked it and we got a cab. All of a sudden (maybe the fresh air hit him hard who knows) he just became a dribbling fool. He was racist towards our cab driver and suddenly started talking about how bad he was in bed including the immortal line 'oh and I've got a wee d***!' By this point the cabbie and I were sharing sympathetic looks in the rear view mirror and I was wondering how the hell to get out of it. Thankfully we pulled up to the guy's house and he stumbled out to pee about a metre from the car, leaving me to pay of course (after he'd made the cabbie drive through McDonalds!) and I barked out to the driver 'oh god, please just drive!' and he peeled out of there. We spent the rest of the way home laughing about it all and I gave the guy a good tip. 4
lino Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 You think guys are trying this stuff for the heck of it? No. They are doing it because it often works. It may not work on many of the women posting in these forums, but for good looking guys, they can get away with doing it often enough. Desirable guys can get away with much worse even and the girls will just keep coming back. See it every day. 1
Toodaloo Posted January 28, 2016 Posted January 28, 2016 Desirable guys can get away with much worse even and the girls will just keep coming back. See it every day. Thing is we wise up and grown up as they grow fat and bald thinking the same old stuff will work. Then the good guys get the use of all those magic tricks we have learnt as much and as often as they like and we also bake cookies and stuff. Desirable guys can very easily turn women off, we just need a bit of time to see whats behind the pretty face. Men are just as bad.
Mikau Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 All this talk of tricks and lines and routines here. Am I that strange that my only 'trick' is to be myself, treat women like a human being and tell them the truth about what I do and don't want? Am I old fashioned and out of the loop?
smudge21 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 We guys are pretty useless when it comes to saying too much or too little or just the obvious wrong thing. Done it myself so many times. Had got the girl right at the point where she's hanging on my every word, then I'll throw in a moment of stupid comedy! WTF! It's like I know where this is heading and so have to be self destructive. No idea why. Just wish we had a female friend on some hidden ear piece who could be telling us what to say at the right moment. Ladies, you could make a lot of money offering that service - guidance for fools. I personally just try to be honest as I want that in return. Besides, being male we often need real obvious signs to know when a girl is interested. Can't count how many times I've watched that boat sail away whilst I'm only dipping my toe in the water and wondering where my trunks are.
ltjg45 Posted January 29, 2016 Posted January 29, 2016 Women can be very difficult to figure out. It seems you have to walk on a very thin line with each woman when you communicate with them and that thin line is completely different from one lady to the next. I could keep my big mouth shut but that would mean I get laid like once every 5 years, if that. I could open it and possibly get slapped by 10-15 women every 2 months.....and after getting slapped like that a few times in my life, I can confirm those actually hurt.....a LOT! I am still trying to figure out the best generic way to tread that line and, at the least, avoid getting slapped, if nothing else. I can do without the pain.
spiderowl Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 Yes, guys seem to have gone from us getting on well to assuming that means they can talk to me as if I'm definitely going to sleep with them. Phrases such as 'babe', 'hey we're gonna have fun', and going into detail about what they like, are a big step up from us going on a date. Why guys immediately assume if you are positive about them, they can take on a 'swaggering' attitude and talk about having sex with you when you haven't even kissed yet, is beyond me!
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