Want to move on but don't want to let him become a stranger?

January 26, 2016

My boyfriend of 8 months and I broke up VERY unexpectedly on Saturday (we were supposed to have had a fun date on Saturday and ended up breaking up instead). In the end, I know logically we probably would've broken up at some point due to his very busy next two years with school/work and ultimately wanting different things in the end. However, I am so upset and miss him so much. We lived together for 6 or 7 months and were together almost all the time so it's so weird for him not to be around and for us to not be texting like usual. I can't stop wondering like what he's doing or thinking of him just in general. I keep feeling like this is temporary and that things will go back to normal. I keep feeling like I'm gonna see him again or he'll text me like it never happened. I literally miss him like crazy and it makes it harder because I'm not angry/don't hate him because I understand why we broke up. He didn't screw me over or anything so I'm not mad which makes it harder to move on. With past breakups, a lot of times it ended because the guy cheated or something which made it easier for me to be like "screw you" and forget him because he didn't deserve me. But this guy is a genuinely great guy with a lot of qualities I haven't seen in many other men (other people have noticed this too, not just me) so I also feel like I'm really losing here. I don't want him to become some past memory or "some guy" I used to date.

I also can't imagine dating another guy or doing the things we did with anyone else. I know I need to because that's always helps me get over someone but I just can't.

I'm kind of in a weird situation right now so going out and or trying new things and seeing friends isn't really an option at the moment. I'm kind of isolated so it's making it worse but that can't be changed right now (long story, not really relevant). I just need help/advice

Also, we broke up partly because he said he still loves me but wasn't as happy as he should've been. I was a great girlfriend (his words) and supported him with his difficult job, school and his depression. I cooked often and we had sex a lot (I never turned him down and he said our sex life was "phenomenal").

He said our personalities were too different. He'd always insisted that wasn't an issue before but apparently it was.

Part of what is so hard is that on Friday, everything was normal and he was affectionate and saying I love you and then by Sunday, he wouldn't even let me in his apartment to get my stuff. He gathered everything for me but wouldn't let me check for something that I know I had to have left there. The drastic difference is partly why I feel so devastated I think. I really need a pep talk

I feel like because he wasn't as happy as he should've been, that no guy will be happy with me. It makes it even harder because #1 I don't want to get over him (I do but I don't) and #2 I know the kind of guy he is and I know he might be a little sad, but he's not devastated or thinking about it. I guess without realizing it, I was planning a future with him in it. It feels so weird that I'm going to have a new boyfriend that isn't him; that he's going to fade and turn into a stranger. That thought alone really breaks my heart.

January 26, 2016

how do I cope with wanting to move on with my life but feeling like I can't and don't want to let become a distant memory/someone I used to know?

We've only been broken up since Saturday.

I honestly feel like I can't let go because he'll fade. He'll forget me and his feelings will fade and so will mine. He'll become "some guy" I dated. He was such a big part of my life and we lived together and now it's over, we're not talking and he's just out of my life. It feels like he never existed; it hurts so much knowing he's out there living his life and now our lives aren't intertwined anymore. We're on two different paths now.

I can't turn to him when I have a bad day anymore, ask for his advice or snuggle up to him at night. I feel like I can't do this.

I don't want him to fade into a memory. It's harder because we broke up because of differences; he didn't screw me over like most of my exes so I don't hate him. It also hurts because I know he's not hurting probably and isn't thinking about it.

January 26, 2016

You cope by knowing that when you've moved on, you'll be ready to go out and find a new love with an open heart.

January 26, 2016

You only just broke up, you're at the worse stages right now and this pain won't magically go away. You have to see it through, just like we all have. You're not alone in anything you're feeling right now. These feelings of not wanting him to mean nothing to you, that fear that eventually you'll heal and he'll be a distant memory is often what holds us onto an ex for longer than it should. We invest so much time, energy and love into someone and they become part of us. When it all goes wrong it's like losing a limb, we can't imagine living without them.

I can remember the ex that brought me here years ago and how it hurt so much to think that we now meant nothing to each other and soon she would be just someone I didn't care about. Despite the fact she had moved on so much, I still thought, hoped that she would come back. That's the hardest part, accepting that it is over. You're not there yet, but you will be and this will get easier... as much as you don't want it to, as keeping the pain means keeping him in your heart and mind. Letting go just seems impossible.

Sadly there's no easy fix, no button to press that will remove feelings and there's nothing you can do to bring someone back. Only time heals these wounds and that could be weeks or even months, some even struggle for years, but it does get better and you will be better. Just accept your pain, accept this loss, accept that you'll be down and upset and see it through. Don't bottle it up, let it out and talk to people or sit eating ice cream, whatever works for you.

This forum helped me cope and it will help you too. All the best.

January 26, 2016

It's out of your control I'm afraid, even a super rationalised mind like mine still turns round from time to time and looks back when I feel like I'm moving on from someone, it's hard but that's just the person that you are, embrace that kind hearted side of you rather than think of it as a negative quality, I don't have any magic words that can make the pain go away, if I I did I would be telling everybody the same thing as some of the stories you read on this website are absolutely heart shattering, I can only tell you that you will one day be fine but you have to do something really difficult, you need to focus on yourself now and make steps towards moving forward and letting go, a break up can be a long journey or a short one, don't bottle anything, cry for 30 days and 30 nights if you have to, just don't keep anything bottled up inside.

January 26, 2016

It feels so weird that I'm going to have a new boyfriend that isn't him; that he's going to fade and turn into a stranger. That thought alone really breaks my heart.

It's just now.

When that actually happens, you will be very happy and won't care less about him.

January 26, 2016

Sorry my dear. We all know your pain. It will take some time to move on, but in time you will realize that you weren't meant to be together. If your paths ever cross again (please don't count on it), maybe you will find a way. But the beautiful thing is....this is your time!!

Allow yourself to grieve. Do things that make you happy (I know how hard that is right now), but time will heal you. Maybe one day you and him can be friends, but after some time you may not even be interested in that.

People come and go from your life for a reason. Take everything you learned from this situation and grow from it.

Nothing I can say will minimize your pain. It will take some time, but you will become the best version of you!!!!!

Remember this "Depression is thoughts from the past, anxiety is thoughts of the future. Live for you and accept the reality of your current situation. You cannot change the part and cannot predict the future"

All you can do is focus on yourself and see which way the wind blows. I also suggest no contact at all!! Any contact will delay your healing process!!

January 27, 2016

Thanks guys. Part of what seems to be most upsetting to me today is the feeling and realization that this is what he wants. He wants us to be broken up and apart. It hurts to realize I'm so devastated and that this is what he wants. This is what's making him happy probably.

Also, we broke up partly because he said he still loves me but wasn't as happy as he should've been. I was a great girlfriend (his words) and supported him with his difficult job, school and his depression. I cooked often and we had sex a lot (I never turned him down and he said our sex life was "phenomenal").

He said our personalities were too different and we wouldn't mix well long term. He'd always insisted that wasn't an issue before and that we got along well but apparently it was.

Part of what is so hard is that on Friday, everything was normal and he was affectionate and saying I love you and then by Sunday, he wouldn't even let me in his apartment to get my stuff. He gathered everything for me but wouldn't let me check for something that I know I had to have left there. The drastic difference is partly why I feel so devastated I think.

I feel like I was close to being a perfect girlfriend for him (he told me things like that multiple times) so if he wasn't happy with me, no guy will be.

January 27, 2016

Aw you're breaking my heart by saying that you don't think any guy will love you. That's absolutely ridiculous. It's a feeling thing and I truly believe that falling out of love is as random and unexplainable as falling in love. It is not your fault!! None of any this is a reflection of you!!

If you were a great girl to him that means you are capable of loving fully. That is a beautiful thing and you should be proud.

I feel for you, but please, know your worth and know you will love and be loved again. Some things don't last forever. Pick up the pieces, heal, be kind to yourself and you will find love again!!!!

January 27, 2016

Thanks guys. Part of what seems to be most upsetting to me today is the feeling and realization that this is what he wants. He wants us to be broken up and apart. It hurts to realize I'm so devastated and that this is what he wants. This is what's making him happy probably.

Also, we broke up partly because he said he still loves me but wasn't as happy as he should've been. I was a great girlfriend (his words) and supported him with his difficult job, school and his depression. I cooked often and we had sex a lot (I never turned him down and he said our sex life was "phenomenal").
He said our personalities were too different and we wouldn't mix well long term. He'd always insisted that wasn't an issue before and that we got along well but apparently it was.
Part of what is so hard is that on Friday, everything was normal and he was affectionate and saying I love you and then by Sunday, he wouldn't even let me in his apartment to get my stuff. He gathered everything for me but wouldn't let me check for something that I know I had to have left there. The drastic difference is partly why I feel so devastated I think.

I feel like I was close to being a perfect girlfriend for him (he told me things like that multiple times) so if he wasn't happy with me, no guy will be.

I had one like that once. I thought the world of her, she was my best girlfriend ever, but like you, in the long run, it wasn't going to work.

Why you ask?

Because the new girl I met wasn't going to put up with me seeing the both of them, that's why. Wouldn't let you in the apartment, huh? I wonder why.

This whole "nobody will love me" thing should pass, if you allow it. You can't paint everybody with that brush - it's just not fair. Think of it more like you weren't a match rather than you weren't good enough. Clearly you were good enough, or it wouldn't have been so good.

I always thought that they guy who got the girl I left behind was going to be pretty damn lucky. It was nothing about her, it was all me.

January 27, 2016

Aw you're breaking my heart by saying that you don't think any guy will love you. That's absolutely ridiculous. It's a feeling thing and I truly believe that falling out of love is as random and unexplainable as falling in love. It is not your fault!! None of any this is a reflection of you!!
If you were a great girl to him that means you are capable of loving fully. That is a beautiful thing and you should be proud.
I feel for you, but please, know your worth and know you will love and be loved again. Some things don't last forever. Pick up the pieces, heal, be kind to yourself and you will find love again!!!!

I just feel like if I couldn't make him as happy as he should've been, how will I make another guy happy?

Also he claims he does still love me which is what's really confusing. We agreed to talk on the phone tomorrow for me to get some closure and answers so I'm hoping maybe I could find out what that means. I want to do no contact after that as much as it's going to kill me.

January 27, 2016

I had one like that once. I thought the world of her, she was my best girlfriend ever, but like you, in the long run, it wasn't going to work.

Why you ask?

Because the new girl I met wasn't going to put up with me seeing the both of them, that's why. Wouldn't let you in the apartment, huh? I wonder why.

This whole "nobody will love me" thing should pass, if you allow it. You can't paint everybody with that brush - it's just not fair. Think of it more like you weren't a match rather than you weren't good enough. Clearly you were good enough, or it wouldn't have been so good.

I always thought that they guy who got the girl I left behind was going to be pretty damn lucky. It was nothing about her, it was all me.

Can I ask why if she was your best girlfriend ever did you dump her for another girl?

January 27, 2016

You'll do whatever you feel, but I highly highly suggest you do not have a conversation for "closure." Absolutely nothing he says will help you at all! Nothing!! It will leave you with more questions, more feelings of inadequacy and you will only feel worse. Any reason he gives you will not be truthful or valid. He isn't lying...he just doesn't know. You might hear something you don't want to....and it will only get worse!

I'll give you closure. He thinks you're great, he knows you're a great girl and he will miss you and the memories, but something is missing for him. If you've both been good to each other it's not your fault...it's not his fault. There is a feeling missing for him.

He made a choice. As bad as it hurts and as much as you hate it, you have to respect it. For your own good...go NC.

Heal your broken heart, regain your confidence, find things you enjoy, lean on friends and family and give it time.

January 27, 2016

Can I ask why if she was your best girlfriend ever did you dump her for another girl?

Sure. I met this other girl, and the night I met her, I knew I was going to marry her. It wasn't love at first sight, so I'm not sure how I knew, but I did. We did have an instant familiarity, like I'd known her for a long time. My mind and heart were turned in less than 45 minutes. Amazing.

You'd think it would've been hard to chuck the three year long, absolutely hands-down best relationship I'd ever had, but it wasn't. I never regretted it.

January 27, 2016

I just feel like if I couldn't make him as happy as he should've been, how will I make another guy happy?

Also he claims he does still love me which is what's really confusing. We agreed to talk on the phone tomorrow for me to get some closure and answers so I'm hoping maybe I could find out what that means. I want to do no contact after that as much as it's going to kill me.

The first thing you should ask him if he's going to tell you the brutal truth, because if not, it will hurt more than help. The first thing you'd better ask yourself is if you really want to hear it.

January 27, 2016

You'll do whatever you feel, but I highly highly suggest you do not have a conversation for "closure." Absolutely nothing he says will help you at all! Nothing!! It will leave you with more questions, more feelings of inadequacy and you will only feel worse. Any reason he gives you will not be truthful or valid. He isn't lying...he just doesn't know. You might hear something you don't want to....and it will only get worse!
I'll give you closure. He thinks you're great, he knows you're a great girl and he will miss you and the memories, but something is missing for him. If you've both been good to each other it's not your fault...it's not his fault. There is a feeling missing for him.
He made a choice. As bad as it hurts and as much as you hate it, you have to respect it. For your own good...go NC.
Heal your broken heart, regain your confidence, find things you enjoy, lean on friends and family and give it time.

I guess part of why is because I don't understand how I could feel so in love and happy with him and he was only happy part of the time. That hurts so much to realize. I honestly don't even care about anything right now and I feel like this is never going to get better. It hits me like a train as soon as I wake up.

January 27, 2016

I guess part of why is because I don't understand how I could feel so in love and happy with him and he was only happy part of the time. That hurts so much to realize. I honestly don't even care about anything right now and I feel like this is never going to get better. It hits me like a train as soon as I wake up.

But there is nothing he can tell you that will make you feel better!!! I promise you that. Let ignorance be bliss. I left a great woman after 3 years for another girl. If you read my thread from earlier today "I've been on all sides of the breakup" you may gain some prospective.

Anything he says to you can only hurt you more. Do yourself a favor and begin healing. Stop feeling inadequate...its normal, but it will pass.

January 27, 2016

I just feel like I need a closure conversation. I can't explain it. And if he says something hurtful, I feel like it'll help me move on. It's hard for me to get over someone if I'm not angry with them.

He's bluntly honest (to a fault almost) so I think he'll tell me what I want to know.

The way we split up was so abrupt and unexpected (we were actually supposed to have went on a date that night and broke up instead)and I left so quickly that I never got to talk to him or understand anything.

Adding to what's making me feel worse is that my new apartment isn't opening up for a month to two months so I'm having to stay with my mom who is OCD and a total control freak and literally nags both her boyfriend and me to death. I'm trying to deal with feeling like my heart has been ripped out and she's trying to argue about everything. I'd go somewhere else but I recently just moved back to Indiana from Texas after being gone for a few years before I met my ex and I'd lost touch with a lot of my friends.

I know I sound so whiny but I honestly feel like I can't deal with this.

January 27, 2016

I guess part of why is because I don't understand how I could feel so in love and happy with him and he was only happy part of the time. That hurts so much to realize. I honestly don't even care about anything right now and I feel like this is never going to get better. It hits me like a train as soon as I wake up.

I came here like 6 months ago with these exact feelings, being so hurt that someone I cared about so so much no longer felt the same for me. It was a huge weight to wake up to every morning.

Everyone on here was telling me "it will get better slowly" "only time can heal" "The bad days will slowly become replaced by the good" etc etc. At the time I was skeptical and it sort of pissed me off to be honest because I thought they were bs'ing me...but lo and behold, they were all 100% correct.

I'm not sure about you, but this past break up was the first time I had broken up with someone I had strong and deep feelings for, which is why it hurt me so much. However, due to the fact that I had never gone through something similar, I believe that is why I felt so hopeless during the first few months. BUT, I sit here now, half a year later, as happy as I have ever been with my life. Honestly, I'm probably even happier right now than I ever was with my ex, not because she was bad, but because I have put my life back together the way I want it, without having to worry about someone else.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is, you have to stick with it. The first few weeks/months are terrible I know, I've just been through that! Allow yourself to grieve, let it out, and I guarantee you that it WILL get easier as time goes on. Focus on loving yourself, treat yourself well, and don't get bogged down by what-if's or regrets or anything backward like that. You'll be able to look back on it all like I am right now, and, as strange as it seems, you'll be grateful for the learning experience the process has given you.

January 27, 2016

its your call. You will feel like you were broken up with all over tomorrow when you seek this "closure." I truly wish you the best of luck and feel for you. We've all been there. A clean break is tough to do. After a few though...you learn to not subject yourself to more pain than necessary and just keep one foot moving in front of the other.

January 27, 2016

I came here like 6 months ago with these exact feelings, being so hurt that someone I cared about so so much no longer felt the same for me. It was a huge weight to wake up to every morning.

Everyone on here was telling me "it will get better slowly" "only time can heal" "The bad days will slowly become replaced by the good" etc etc. At the time I was skeptical and it sort of pissed me off to be honest because I thought they were bs'ing me...but lo and behold, they were all 100% correct.

I'm not sure about you, but this past break up was the first time I had broken up with someone I had strong and deep feelings for, which is why it hurt me so much. However, due to the fact that I had never gone through something similar, I believe that is why I felt so hopeless during the first few months. BUT, I sit here now, half a year later, as happy as I have ever been with my life. Honestly, I'm probably even happier right now than I ever was with my ex, not because she was bad, but because I have put my life back together the way I want it, without having to worry about someone else.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is, you have to stick with it. The first few weeks/months are terrible I know, I've just been through that! Allow yourself to grieve, let it out, and I guarantee you that it WILL get easier as time goes on. Focus on loving yourself, treat yourself well, and don't get bogged down by what-if's or regrets or anything backward like that. You'll be able to look back on it all like I am right now, and, as strange as it seems, you'll be grateful for the learning experience the process has given you.

I feel like it's so hard because this is what he wants. He's not upset; well he said he's sad it happened this way but that it needs to happen.

Did you struggle with the feeling of not being able to date again? Or the thought of them becoming a stranger?

Also how long before you stopped feeling devastated? I'm not saying totally normal, but how many months before you felt more normal?

It just hurts because I thought maybe we'd end up married. He told me he saw a future with me, loved me so much, I made him happy, etc. and he was saying these things right up until the end basically.

I'm going to do no contact but I just honestly can't imagine my life without him. He was someone I turned to for everything and he supported me and gave me advice. He was also a close friend, not just a boyfriend

Edited January 27, 2016 by amberjadej

January 27, 2016

I feel like it's so hard because this is what he wants. He's not upset; well he said he's sad it happened this way but that it needs to happen.

I have a friend who just broke up with his girlfriend (going out nearly 3 years) and he's told me pretty much the same as this about his now ex. He still held strong feelings for her when he broke up with her, and he is likewise sad that it had to be that way, but he knew deep down that he could no longer give her what she wanted as they had grown in different ways, so despite it being so hard, he knew it was the best thing to do. He didn't want to prolong and increase the inevitable pain it would cause her by staying with her despite his doubts.

Did you struggle with the feeling of not being able to date again? Or the thought of them becoming a stranger?

Of course you are going to struggle with the idea of dating again, you can't just go from being with someone to being willing and able to meet someone new with the click of your fingers. It took me a good few months before I went on a date with someone else, but even now, I'm really enjoying the freedom of being single so dating isn't a very high priority at the moment.

The thought of her becoming a stranger did weigh down on me yes, and the first few weeks were extremely hard as I went from talking to her every day for about 2.5 years, to then not talking to her at all. But just like any other habit, it got easier to cope with. At the end of the day though, in regards to this, I knew that keeping her around in my life while I tried to recover would only stunt and delay my process. You need the time completely separated for you to understand that life is still just as enjoyable without the ex.

Also how long before you stopped feeling devastated? I'm not saying totally normal, but how many months before you felt more normal?

For me, it took a good 3 months, but I would say that this was reasonably quick considering the relationship was 2.5yrs, the break up was not nasty, and that we both still had feelings when it happened.

Keep in mind this was 3 months of 100% NC though, she was out of my life completely. But this time depends on so many things: The length of the relationship, the way you broke up, your actions after the breakup, your focus while you try to heal, your overall ability to let things go etc etc.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter how long it takes, rather what you do during that time.

It just hurts because I thought maybe we'd end up married. He told me he saw a future with me, loved me so much, I made him happy, etc. and he was saying these things right up until the end basically.

I completely understand. However, try and take this approach to seeing things. Instead of wondering why he no longer feels this way anymore, be grateful for the fact that at one stage, you made him feel that way. You made him feel loved, you made him feel happy, you made him look forward to his future - That is an amazing gift to give, and in turn to have received from him.

the #1 thing that helped me move on was by allowing myself to be grateful for what I had gotten from my ex, instead of being upset that I no longer had it. Instead of beating myself up because she's no longer around, I am extremely grateful for the memories and times we had while she was. All the firsts we had, all the things we did, the way she made me feel - These are all amazing things she shared with me, they built me up, made me happy, and I am forever grateful for being able to share them with her...I am a better person for it.

What it also allowed me to feel was immense excitement for the future: If this one girl left me with so many fond memories and experiences, imagine what the rest of the world has to offer....the next girl, the one after her and the one after her. Do these thoughts not make you excited when you realise just how much the world has to offer?

I'm going to do no contact but I just honestly can't imagine my life without him. He was someone I turned to for everything and he supported me and gave me advice. He was also a close friend, not just a boyfriend

You were perfectly fine before him, what's making you think you can't be the same now that your time together has ended. Sure, you won't be the same, but who's to say it has to be a change for the worse?

I felt the same about my ex, who was I going to share all these things with now? She was such a good friend on top of being my partner, and I didn't want to lose that. But again, turning to being grateful for having her while I did instead of being upset because I didn't anymore was how I got past this.

January 27, 2016

Thank you louxor. You really took the time to read and address each section.

I could deal with the breakup more easily if I knew he was hurt too (sounds petty I know). If I knew he was struggling and upset; not because I want him hurt but because that's easier for me than to know that he didn't love me anymore and just didn't wanna be with me anymore and feels relieved about it.

It'd be easier for me if the breakup was just because we're different rather than he stopped loving me.

He says he still loves me but he just wasn't as happy as he should've been. I'm not really sure in what way he was unhappy.

Or why he would tell me he was if he wasn't.

He did admit that he would go back and forth in his head about us, being happy sometimes and not others. I just feel inadequate since I couldn't make him as happy as he should've been despite me doing everything I knew to do to be a great girlfriend.

We're having our closure phone call tomorrow so maybe I can understand better.

One of the most heartbreaking things for me is to realize that our lives aren't intertwined together anymore; we're on two different paths. He was my rock and even tonight after an argument with a friend, I had to seriously fight the urge to call him.

I can't imagine living my life knowing he exists out there but us not speaking.

We had a couple day breakup a few months ago due to us realizing his schedule wouldn't work and he said he wanted us to be friends, chat, hang out and me to call/text him anytime I needed him. Obviously we reconciled after a week or so but even when we were broken up he seemed more friendly than he does this time

This time however, he claims he wants to be friends and chat (It'll be a long time before I can do that but still) and potentially hang out down the road, but when I've sent him messages about what time we're supposed to talk tomorrow and about getting a couple of my things back, he's reading them but not responding.

I've even offered that we don't have to have a closure talk if he didn't want to but he's still ignoring me.

As dumb as this sounds, I also feel jealous for whatever girl will end up making him as happy as I should've.

She'll be a very lucky girl because he's a pretty great guy.

Ironic thing is, is that his fiance of 4 years cheated on him and his other serious girlfriend literally moved to Utah overnight and didn't tell him. So it's funny that the girl who would've stayed beside him gets dumped.

Edited January 27, 2016 by amberjadej

January 27, 2016

Thank you louxor. You really took the time to read and address each section.

I could deal with the breakup more easily if I knew he was hurt too (sounds petty I know). If I knew he was struggling and upset; not because I want him hurt but because that's easier for me than to know that he didn't love me anymore and just didn't wanna be with me anymore and feels relieved about it.
It'd be easier for me if the breakup was just because we're different rather than he stopped loving me.

He is hurt, just in a different way, I can almost guarantee you that. Unless you were a complete and utter a**hole to him (which you weren't) he is going to be hurting one way or another.

Oh and he didn't just wake up one day and stop loving you. I'm sure he was thinking about this was a reasonable amount of time before it happened, it just seems so sudden to you because you probably didn't see it coming. My friend I was talking about earlier took 3 months of thinking to finally break up with his ex - This isn't a bad thing, but a testament to how much he cared for her that he was willing to put himself through 3 months of not being happy to try and work things out. I'd say your case is very similar.

He says he still loves me but he just wasn't as happy as he should've been. I'm not really sure in what way he was unhappy.
Or why he would tell me he was if he wasn't.
He did admit that he would go back and forth in his head about us, being happy sometimes and not others.

This is basically how my most recent ex broke up with me. At the time I was so desperate for answers, but as time has gone on, I've realised that she herself didn't even have the answer, she just felt the way she felt and there was nothing in particular that I had done that had caused it. On the surface it seems stupid and makes no sense, but sometimes this is just the way things are. Think about some childhood friends or people in general who you have just drifted away from. Sometimes this happens for no particualr reason at all, that's just how it is.

I just feel inadequate since I couldn't make him as happy as he should've been despite me doing everything I knew to do to be a great girlfriend.

You did the very best you could, if that isn't enough, it isn't your problem, it is his. You must not beat yourself down just because your best wasn't enough for him.

We're having our closure phone call tomorrow so maybe I can understand better.

I would be very wary of a conversation like this, as from what I've read, he may not even have answers to give you. And even if he does, these answers will just stem more questions, and the process will go on and on.

Closure itself is a bit of a lie to be honest, because as the one who got dumped, the only thing you really want to hear is that they miss you, made a mistake and want you back. Deep down that's all I wanted to hear from my ex when I was interested in gaining 'closure'. I'm glad I held off and just accepted it for what it was.

Edited January 27, 2016 by louxor

January 27, 2016

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