iphone_user1 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 For what reasons would you keep an ex-gf/bf/fbuddy/FWB number in your phone after breaking up or cutting off the relationship you were involved in?
kendahke Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 laziness not really being done with them a myriad of reasons would come to mind 4
Gaeta Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 What kind of ex? An ex you dated a couple of months, it didn't work out and no one has resentment because no deep feelings were involved? (I got those on my phone. We remained acquaintances, get some news every once in a while, give each other business, references, etc) An ex you dated months or years and you were in love and he broke your heart? ( I don't keep those on my contact list) An ex you were married with and have children with? (does it need explanation?) 3
carhill Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 For what reasons would you keep an ex-gf/bf/fbuddy/FWB number in your phone after breaking up or cutting off the relationship you were involved in? One example from real life is when friends from far flung places want to get in touch with my exW and neglected to get her new number when we divorced. A lot of my friends were her friends too but that's how things go when people get divorced. So, since we've had contact since the D, most recently her calling me when her best friend died, I still have her number in my phone. Use it? Nope. No need.
salparadise Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Why would anyone need a reason for not deleting numbers. Hell, I've got every number I've collected in the last fifteen years or more. Should I feel bad about that? 9
Author iphone_user1 Posted January 26, 2016 Author Posted January 26, 2016 Why would anyone need a reason for not deleting numbers. Hell, I've got every number I've collected in the last fifteen years or more. Should I feel bad about that? No, you're the opposite, I delete numbers I don't really need anymore after some time of no contact.
thecrucible Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I've deleted all numbers of exes but I could easily contact them all on Facebook if I really wanted to (although I'm not Facebook friends with any of them). So if someone hasn't deleted an ex's number, I don't think I would think too much of it as the world is so connected these days.
Methodical Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Not all relationships end on bad terms, they just weren't a good match for each other. In those situations, no one harbors ill-will and they remain friends. No big deal. 1
Zapbasket Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I deleted all my exes' numbers immediately after the breakup. It was a low-profile (because only I would know) way of reclaiming some power after being dumped--a severance I created. But really, it probably made no difference; I still have my 2007 ex's number memorized and will probably never forget it, and the same goes for my 2013 ex. When my 2007 ex called me in late 2008 after 1 year and 7 months of NC, his name didn't come up on my phone but I recognized the number instantly. It nearly gave me a heart attack because I'd told myself he'd never contact me. I never returned the call. I don't think it necessarily makes a difference whether you keep an ex as a contact in your phone. And I don't think that alone is a red flag if it's someone you are dating who has an ex in his/her phone. It *might* be a red flag if they stay in contact regularly.
loveweary11 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Because I don't delete any numbers from my phone? I'm the type that looks at current activity (like "new posts" on this forum), not at actual categories or lists. I'm activity driven. Any person i haven't talked to in a long time just vanishes automatically. 1
salparadise Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 And the other thing is, my gf isn't likely to ever find out that I still have ex's numbers in my phone because we don't mess with each other's phones. I've always preferred the security code to be active, and now that iPhone has fingerprint recognition, privacy/security is effortless. Not that I think she'd be tempted to even try... I don't understand how people become enmeshed so quickly that they start worrying about what personal information has or hasn't been deleted. I'm still friends with a couple of ex's on farcebook too. Guess that's a red flag with a marching band, eh? 1
sweet honeydew Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I do. or should I say I don't even bother to delete. The main reasons: 1) I have better things to do. 2) So when they call one day (they always do), I would know who is calling. I don't remember their number now and won't remember in the future. p.s. why should anyone care? 1
PegNosePete Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 So that if they call, you know who it is, and can avoid answering the call. 4
basil67 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I've got a stack of obsolete numbers on my phone. Just laziness. 2
introverted1 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) Why would anyone need a reason for not deleting numbers. Hell, I've got every number I've collected in the last fifteen years or more. Should I feel bad about that? This. I have numbers I don't even know who they belong to because there's only a first name. I don't delete because I can't remember if it's a guy I dated a couple of times and it didn't work out or if it's that dry-wall guy my plumber told me about when I had some water damage! (I seem to have multiple "David"s in my phone - very confusing.) ETA: I also have a drawer full of keys that I have no idea what they open. Seems related to me somehow! Edited January 26, 2016 by introverted1 2
jen1447 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 It also seems a bit drama-queen-ish to have a deletion ceremony anytime you break up w/someone. If that works for you personally, fine, but I don't think it can be considered a universal standard.
Wewon Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 For what reasons would you keep an ex-gf/bf/fbuddy/FWB number in your phone after breaking up or cutting off the relationship you were involved in? Keeping the numbers or are they simply not deleting numbers? I have a bowflex/coat rack in my basement, I don't think that I qualify as 'keeping it around' since I wouldn't care less if someone liked it enough to pick it up and carry it away. 1
Author iphone_user1 Posted January 26, 2016 Author Posted January 26, 2016 It also seems a bit drama-queen-ish to have a deletion ceremony anytime you break up w/someone. If that works for you personally, fine, but I don't think it can be considered a universal standard. Not like a ceremony LOL or after a break up. Personally, I go around my contacts list every one or two months and delete phone numbers of the people I once met but now we don't talk. It can a guy I had a beer with or a girlfriend I broke up with.
truth_seeker Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 For what reasons would you keep an ex-gf/bf/fbuddy/FWB number in your phone after breaking up or cutting off the relationship you were involved in? Some do it as back up. In case they're alone, horny and hope they can get a quick fix.
Emilia Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I delete everything: phone number, old texts, emails. I'm very much a believer in the clean slate. It's possible (has happened about 3-4 times so far) that years down the line I find them on facebook or LinkedIn but once the decision is made to stop seeing someone, to me it's a point of no return. I wasn't always like this and found contact dragged on. Not anymore. 1
contel3 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Several reasons: - laziness/not really caring - curiosity/checking up on them - work related reasons That's for significant exes. For the insignificant ones I usually just forget we ever had something going on. So I think about deleting their number just as much as about deleting my neighbour's one.
ASG Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I don't think I've ever deleted a single number from my phone. Not a single one, ever, unless someone changed numbers and I deleted the old one when I updated the contact details. And now that all my contacts are online, even when I change phones, there they are, on my account. I've lost numbers over the years, especially in the move from non smartphone to smartphone, but again, most of those were in the SIM card and that remained and I then transferred most (if not all) to my online account. So yeah... I have numbers of people I dated, I had a FWB relationship with, everything! 1
MissBee Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 For what reasons would you keep an ex-gf/bf/fbuddy/FWB number in your phone after breaking up or cutting off the relationship you were involved in? I have lots of numbers of people I never call in my phone, mostly because I don't think about it so don't often go on deleting binges and likely don't even remember that I still have their number. Also, because of the whole contact syncing thing, sometimes when I get a new phone it restores all my contacts and then some, from ages back. Since this happens automatically, sometimes old exes and other random people's numbers are still part of my contact list. I've deleted exes numbers when I was in No Contact, to prevent me reaching out, but once I don't care, then it's not something I think about, even if I have their number. Their number becomes no different than the many other numbers I never call but have in my phone.
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