CTRL C Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 When a girl says she doesn't care about Valentine's Day ... A) Believe her and don't do anything B) It means don't get me a gift but flowers or dinner would be nice C) It is a trick statement and she would get upset if you don't do anything, especially when her friends get flowers and ask her what her bf done for her Can we survey the crowd here. Personally... I don't care about Valentine's because it's literally a Hallmark sales holiday. There's no expectation on the guy to perform on that day any differently from any other day. I care about him, not about a specific day on the calendar. That said, anything he does choose to do, gifts or special dates or whatever, is still greatly appreciated, for the kind gesture of affection that it is. If he wants that day to be a special day, we'll make it special. If he wants February 10 to be a special day instead, we'll do that. So, I say A.2) believe her and do what you want with that information.
stillafool Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Instead, it's on the guy to figure out that 1) she doesn't really mean it when she says she doesn't want anything; and 2) what to give/do that strikes the right balance of seeming to have heard her wishes but been so consumed by love that he had to do something anyway. Exactly! OP, I would take her at her word and get her nothing. If she wasn't sincere about not wanting anything she will tell the truth the next time. Don't get caught up in games.
lilmissjava Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Singles Awareness Day is my most cherished day of the year! If she is anything like me, V Day isn't that big of a deal. I celebrate the 14th of February by owning my single status and not being down about it at all.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I'm disheartened by the number of posters suggesting that C (she says she doesn't want anything for VD but it's a trick to see of the guy will do something anyway) is ok. Why is it ok for a woman to say something she doesn't mean, basically setting the guy up for failure if he believes her? What is wrong with saying "I like VD and enjoy celebrating it" or whatever, if that is the case? Instead, it's on the guy to figure out that 1) she doesn't really mean it when she says she doesn't want anything; and 2) what to give/do that strikes the right balance of seeming to have heard her wishes but been so consumed by love that he had to do something anyway. It's not okay at all. You'll notice a couple of us have classified that type of woman who would do that as dramatic/immature or inexperienced. 1
WhirlwindGuy Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 My girlfriend has told me numerous times recently that every day is like valentines day with you, we really don't need a silly holiday to remember we love each other. We are also going to the beach this weekend to spend time together, which she said would be a good early valentine's day celebration. That said, I do still intend to buy her a small gift.
Toodaloo Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Women are indoctrinated to say that they don't care so we do. If we say we want to be special then we are "needy" or "demanding" or "over the top"... Its only when we get older and don't give two hoots what anyone thinks that we have the courage to say I DO CARE AND I WANT TO FEEL SPECIAL. Its the old addage that women have to be meek and mild and men have to be gruff protectors. "I like VD and enjoy celebrating it" Just as an aside you do know that for those of us who are "old skool" VD was an acronym for STD's so that sentence just reads so wrong... 2
introverted1 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Just as an aside you do know that for those of us who are "old skool" VD was an acronym for STD's so that sentence just reads so wrong... Yep! I was laughing to myself as I reread what I'd posted. I think the migration has been VD-->STD-->STI. Unless there is something more current that I have missed! 1
Toodaloo Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Yep! I was laughing to myself as I reread what I'd posted. I think the migration has been VD-->STD-->STI. Unless there is something more current that I have missed! Well you are a step ahead of me!!! 2
dreamingoftigers Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Yep! I was laughing to myself as I reread what I'd posted. I think the migration has been VD-->STD-->STI. Unless there is something more current that I have missed! Yeah whatever you do, don't get her a card that says, "Let's Celebrate VD Together." 1
introverted1 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Yeah whatever you do, don't get her a card that says, "Let's Celebrate VD Together." Depending on her age, she might not know! My 17yo had no idea what "VD" was. 3
BarryJohnny Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 Even if she doesn't care about it, I'm sure she'd appreciate a small token of your affection, if you feel moved to give it. This could be as simple as a single wildflower or a cute limerick you write for her. I'm a die-hard romantic, though I treasure all the sweet things men have done for me on the cheesy day for lovers. Yeah, thats true. Hey, i am new to dating womens, although i am not the youngest. idk why. It was always the same. I had money, confidence, jobs, beloved friends but no womans in my life. Until this year. I´ve met a wonderfull girl at a new year party and now were together! I am so glad! Now i want to ask, if this small piece would be a "appreciated small token of my affection" to her too, or would it be a bad idea, because she is one of that girls that said. "Please dont give me anything at valentines day", and now i dont know what to do. Maybe i will present it to her at 15/02/2016, then she cant complain about being given a valentine present. Any small advice? Thank you very much.
d0nnivain Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 I used to say that as a way of self protection. If I said I didn't care & had a crappy VD it hurt a lot less. However, I never said that when I had a BF. What I'd say was I had a lot of bad V-Days so I'd like to do something but it doesn't have to be other the top. As I matured that evolved into I have the expectation that we will celebrate V-day but I do not want to go out to eat on the 14th itself because the restaurants will be too crowded & I never want long stemmed roses because the mark-up is ridiculous. I do want a card & a heart shaped box of chocolate; however I would rather have the bigger box on the 15th when it's half off. (I'm cheap ). So my advice OP is get further clarification & spell out your own expectations. Even if she really wants nothing to do with the holiday but you enjoy celebrating make sure she won't bite your head off for getting her a card. As for your small piece of jewelry, that would be over the top for a woman who has already professed not to like the holiday. It's a cute necklace though.
Kofybean Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 When a girl says she doesn't care about Valentine's Day ... A) Believe her and don't do anything B) It means don't get me a gift but flowers or dinner would be nice C) It is a trick statement and she would get upset if you don't do anything, especially when her friends get flowers and ask her what her bf done for her Can we survey the crowd here. D) Believer her and do what you feel like doing for her. D is the only correct answer. 1
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