meanthingsisaid Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 When a girl says she doesn't care about Valentine's Day ... A) Believe her and don't do anything B) It means don't get me a gift but flowers or dinner would be nice C) It is a trick statement and she would get upset if you don't do anything, especially when her friends get flowers and ask her what her bf done for her Can we survey the crowd here.
loveweary11 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Gotta know the individual girl. No one here can actually answer this but you. 8
Methodical Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Maybe she had a bad experience due to past expectations, which led to huge let downs so now she doesn't get worked up over it. That way, it's no big deal. If you do something nice, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. 1
introverted1 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 When a girl says she doesn't care about Valentine's Day ... A) Believe her and don't do anything B) It means don't get me a gift but flowers or dinner would be nice C) It is a trick statement and she would get upset if you don't do anything, especially when her friends get flowers and ask her what her bf done for her Can we survey the crowd here. A) Hopefully it's this. B) You can definitely ask about this. C) Game playing. Why would you even want to be with this girl? 3
iphone_user1 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Marry her, those who don't give a flying ass about that day are the ones LOL 4
RedRobin Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I always tell my SO not to buy me anything on stupid made up holidays where everything costs twice as much and it's not spontaneous anyway. If you want to do something nice, wait till the following few days when everything is half off and the crowds are gone, lol. Or just buy her flowers for something random. If she had a tough day, or finished a major project... Whatever. But me personally, I think Valentine's Day is for HS. 4
thecrucible Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I hope she wouldn't be game playing but some women with less experience might actually say "aww you don't have to do anything for me" but they are in the back of their minds wondering what surprises you have planned. How did she convey this information to you? You could do dinner as I'm sure anyone would appreciate that, valentines day or not. I've always done that with boyfriends and some of them weren't really the romantic type.
truth_seeker Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 This can be tricky... When a woman says "fine" that's code for "I'm not happy" ... if a woman told me she's not into Valentine's Day, I wouldn't believe her. I would still get her something. Even if she hated it. This way she can't turn around and say you're a bad boyfriend. Just don't go crazy on spending... I would shop a a week or two before so you don't get hit with absurd mark up prices. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Get her something but say, "I know you aren't really 'into' Valentine's Day but I didn't the most wonderful girl to go empty-handed today. If it bothers you, we can return it and use it for something fun another time." That way you cover ALL of the bases AND score points. 4
LivingWaterPlease Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 At it's best Valentine's Day is not about what your SO expects to get from you, it's about what YOU want to give her as a token of your affection for her! So do what is in your heart, whatever it may be! 2
kendahke Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) C) It is a trick statement and she would get upset if you don't do anything, especially when her friends get flowers and ask her what her bf done for her How does this same woman feel about not recognizing her birthday? Go by her expectations for that day. Edited January 26, 2016 by kendahke
preraph Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I would still see her on Valentine's evening, but I would not take her to do any of the conventional Valentine's things. Why not just ask her "Well, I want to do something for Valentine's, but we don't have to do any of the traditional stuff. How about we go bowling?" Or just something silly like that. And as long as she's up for talking about it, say "So you're not going to get me anything?" Don't say "So you don't want me to get you anything." It will be funnier if you act like a child about it. See how serious she really is that way. Make her say if she's getting you anything so you'll know whether to get her anything or not.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Even if she doesn't care about it, I'm sure she'd appreciate a small token of your affection, if you feel moved to give it. This could be as simple as a single wildflower or a cute limerick you write for her. I'm a die-hard romantic, though I treasure all the sweet things men have done for me on the cheesy day for lovers. 2
ltjg45 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Honestly, I wouldn't do anything if she said that. The only time I would bother is if she has any value into Valentine's Day. I personally don't care for it so if she doesn't either, then it is just another regular day. 1
salparadise Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 At it's best Valentine's Day is not about what your SO expects to get from you, it's about what YOU want to give her as a token of your affection for her! So do what is in your heart, whatever it may be! Ah, now where have I heard that line before? Are you a sales person in a jewelry store? When you start equating what you buy with how much affection is in your heart... that's where it all goes haywire. That's how you get a naive young man to spend two weeks pay on a trinket that would assess for five bucks.
Zippy2000 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Everyone cares for Valentines day. Trust me but if she says soemthing like that I d probably do something small and not over the top. My mum used to say she didnt care for her birthday! Of course she did but it was her way of saying dont go over the top and do something big. Its best to give her a small card. That way shes got no come back to say you didnt care. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 This depends on the maturity level of the girl in question. If she's mature and secure, believe her. She's just being honest. It would be nice to offer a simple loving gesture but she won't get bent out of shape if you don't. If she's not very mature or has a history of being a drama queen, assume it's a trick statement. 1
smudge21 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Take her to see Deadpool... it's a win win for you both. 1
basil67 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I'm female and I don't care about Valentines. But I will make sure he doesn't forget my birthday! 1
Toodaloo Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Mmmm the V day... The one day of the year where we get it thrown in our faces that we are supposed to be loved... I hated it for years. My ex used the excuse of it being commercial to make a point of being mean, a tight wad and selfish (all over again!). So when I split up with him I thought sod that and now I plan well in advance to do lots of really great fun things. My take is this. Its a day to celebrate love. So why not celebrate it and do what ever you want to do that celebrates your partner. We don't do that enough these days. We take people for granted and we get grumpy. We constantly ask "What is in it for me?" - well how about just for one day we say heck I adore you and your fantastic for all these reasons... Do what you feel comfortable with. Just remember many women say that they are not really into it because of social pressures... either to be in a fantastic Disney style relationship where everything is peaches and cream on facebook, or because guys have got so grumpy and slack and treated her badly over the years so she has become used to it and her wishes and dreams of being wooed by Prince Charming (aka You) have died a long slow lingering death... If you choose to ignore it, or choose to celebrate it just make sure she knows you care for her the rest of the year...
Miss Clavel Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I hope she wouldn't be game playing but some women with less experience might actually say "aww you don't have to do anything for me" but they are in the back of their minds wondering what surprises you have planned. How did she convey this information to you? You could do dinner as I'm sure anyone would appreciate that, valentines day or not. I've always done that with boyfriends and some of them weren't really the romantic type. agree. my oldest said, for weeks, "it's a made up holiday". she told her SO she did not want to celebrate. luckily, he did not believe her.
introverted1 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I'm disheartened by the number of posters suggesting that C (she says she doesn't want anything for VD but it's a trick to see of the guy will do something anyway) is ok. Why is it ok for a woman to say something she doesn't mean, basically setting the guy up for failure if he believes her? What is wrong with saying "I like VD and enjoy celebrating it" or whatever, if that is the case? Instead, it's on the guy to figure out that 1) she doesn't really mean it when she says she doesn't want anything; and 2) what to give/do that strikes the right balance of seeming to have heard her wishes but been so consumed by love that he had to do something anyway.
Phoenician Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 if you know what she loves , get her that one day before valentine , with a note that everyday is V .
veggirl Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 B is what I mean when I say it. I mean that I don't want anything big, no need to go all out etc, but yes a little something.
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