Mjm1014 Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 (edited) So I'm an outgoing guy, 28, not shy, and would say I'm average when it comes to looks, although only 5'6...as for my looks, like I said I'm average, clean shaven, short hair, and fairly muscular yet NOT overweight. I try to always look nice, and keep up on hygiene. I try to keep a smile on my face when possible too. I have a stable job as a pilot, and am doing something with my life. Anyways anytime I'm out in public (bars, airports, malls, you name it), I never seem to get any IOI's from females. It feels like I'm completely invisible and they don't even notice me. I'm not saying I think women should approach me, but they don't even make eye contact, smile, or act remotely interested if I engage them causally. I've definitely had no issue in the past getting girlfriends but over the years I've always met them online and it seems the closer I get to 30 the harder it is to attract anyone. In high school and college, they just didn't give me the time of day. I can only think of one time in my life a women has visibly showed any interested!! I would approach more and engage in conversation if I knew they were even slightly interested. Even girls I dated in the past, even long term relationships, they never acted like they were all that attracted. Like I said, I look fit, and the only thing I can think of is my height. I wouldn't say I'm a 10/10 on looks, only average, but it baffles me why zero women want anything to do with me, even obese ones lol (not that that's my thing to be honest).. Maybe it's my age or height, or even my job since they know I could be gone a lot? Ugh it sucks going to bed every night knowing not one single female in this world gives you the time of day.. I can't even tell you the last time I engaged talking to a lady in person that was interested, and trust me, I try.... Dating sites, yep no luck what so ever Edited January 25, 2016 by Mjm1014
SwordofFlame Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 It's probably your height and maybe your race too if you are minority.
Author Mjm1014 Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 Dude I'm white hahahahaha so yep I guess that eliminates that
carhill Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 One question to ask yourself is why you would ponder women's opinion of you, largely unknown, prior to retiring for the evening alone. I dealt with a lot of dating issues when younger and it boils down to this....women we meet like what they like and if we're not it, we're not. Over and done.
Author Mjm1014 Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 (edited) Carhill, I totally agree, but I guess I just don't get what's wrong with me...at 28, stable job, leading a healthy lifestyle, I'm not sure what my weakenesses are, and not even sure how to correct them at this point. I know something is turning them off, but I'm not sure what is. I have no one to ask or any way to find out. All I know is, whatever I'm doing is not working. I feel like I have way less interested in me at my age than the average guy my age, and I feel like possibly 90% of it is because women want a guy to be 6 foot plus, but again idk.... Edited January 26, 2016 by Mjm1014
carhill Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Reproductive drives are strong and we often feel we should, if failing to attract a mate, bend ourselves into what we think they will like and love and want to mate with. Looking back, having done all that stuff, including being married, IMO I wasted a lot of valuable life energy and time supplicating at the altar of what I perceived women to want, love and mate with. I wouldn't have wasted that time knowing what I know now. Heck, if I ever invent time travel I'll go back and erase the whole timeline. What an embarrassment. If it's not one thing, it's something else. Ha, I just got this image of a dog chasing its tail in my mind. That's what it felt like. I can laugh about it now. Back in the day it was darned depressing. IDK, maybe you just have to go through it, adapt the best you can, and accept the results. 3
thecrucible Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Carhill has the right idea. You just be the best person you can be and look as good as you can, and it's a throw of the dice whether someone is into you or not. Like Carhill, I wish I hadn't bent over backwards to try and seem like the perfect potential partner. I decided at 22 I would stop doing that. I actually get more attention from men sometimes for that reason because I think they can sense the fact I am comfortable with myself. I have quite a zany personality and I work with what I've got looks wise. I also have to say something regarding attention in public places. The best I've gotten is a few open mouthed stares from men I've met in bars (I assume they were quite drunk and admired my flawless makeup application). Anyway my point is that you could look really good and not get any noticeable attention (unless you're a model) because it doesn't really work like that. For instance, I've seen good looking guys from a distance but I'd only really start to notice them if they approached me and after we'd talked for a while. The guy could not be as good looking and I could still really feel intrigued by him only after we've talked to each other. When I'm in the middle of my day running errands or on my way somewhere, I probably should see dating opportunities (I keep telling myself this) but usually I'm too busy with something to notice what's around me anyway. I hope what I wrote actually makes sense!
Oregon_Dude Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Just date short women. 5'2" and under. Seriously. 1
LLQ1986 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Just date short women. 5'2" and under. Seriously. Yeah i'm 5'2", i would totally date a 5'6" lol 3
Ruby Slippers Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 I know short guys who are never without a cute girlfriend long. They're comfortable in their masculinity and lighthearted about their height, rather than self-deprecating. 3
mrs rubble Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Attitude is everything. When I dated online I had my profile set to exclude anyone under 5'8. (+ other silly things) the man I'm engaged to now was on the same site and lived 5 minutes away. I met him in person through a club I joined (he's 5'6 & so am I) When we're happy in ourselves and doing the things we love, we're more attractive to others regardless of our preconceived wishes. Concentrate on doing what you enjoy in your spare time, distracting yourself from the search for ms right and you're likely to find her.
Guitarisgood Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 The good thing is those that admit to something that may be wrong and looking to change. Ever thought that maybe it is your personality? Bar everything else, it's essentially what brings someone back or pips a girls interest. Are you very open? Are you very needy as an individual? Are you funny or very serious? Are you a good story teller about your life? Or how is your skills at picking up flirtations and suggestiveness? While many people say never change for someone else, I believe change is good if it is change you want for YOU. This can range from simply being less open, to watching more comedy shows and being funnier and openning up to even being more determined in chasing your passions and hence talking about it in casual conversation. If all else fails, maybe it is time to journey out into the world and start anew elsewhere. Afterall, for all the towns and countries there's bound to be one girl you'd hope interested! (I'm only joking here)
PogoStick Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 You may lose some women at 5'6, but if you have the rest of the package you will have no shortage of choices. Only you can tell us what's missing. Do you have any female friends? Coworkers? Ask them for honest opinions on your strengths and weaknesses. What could you change or work on? Your vibe/presence, hair, clothes, conversation, confidence? If you don't have female friends to ask, that's a big red flag in the first place. In which case, go to the mall and ask 20 random women of varying ages their perception of you and what they would suggest to be more attractive. At age 28 you are starting your peak years and the next 5-10 are yours for the taking.
hasaquestion Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 The good thing is those that admit to something that may be wrong and looking to change. Ever thought that maybe it is your personality? How can this be? I've read on here that everyone has a flawless, compelling and sexy personality, and that any hardship they face must be solely due to being two inches shorter. 1
brothers343 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Sometimes is just the vibe that you put out, I have had many woman tell me I'm a great looking guy but they all have sad that I have that (leave me the **** alone attitude) and it makes me at times non approachable. But I'm really a nice guy at heart when people get to know me that is. Your age shouldn't matter. There thousands of guys that think there old but still pull beautiful woman. And remember woman like man not boys. Good luck.
Buddhist Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) Some people are just not universally appealing, I know this because I'm one of them (and female). I will have someone express interest in me approximately twice per decade. I'm just an acquired taste, despite the fact I've got a great body, reasonably intelligent, and okay in the face. I'm not going to stop traffic but definitely not below average either. I'm just not the kind of woman that men approach at all. I'm largely invisible. I have all the universally admired traits physically, petite hourglass, long hair, clear skin, no wrinkles, straight teeth. Confident, I work a social job so how I'm coming across definitely is not it. I'm not hitting the radar of most people out there. Why this is, I have no idea, and to be honest it does not bother me much either. It's just my lot in life. Other women tell me I'm beautiful, attractive or lovely. But I tend not to believe their judgement because it isn't backed up by my experience. Maybe they are just being polite? Although seriously I don't see a lot wrong with my face. What is obvious though is that I'm not your average personality. I don't go flirty over every attractive guy I meet, I don't laugh at poor jokes and I do like to have conversations with substance. Maybe that's a huge turn off? Who knows. Like you I still don't have much trouble finding a partner but I'll not ever be a person that many people pursue. Edited January 26, 2016 by Buddhist 1
basil67 Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Make sure to consider outside influences too. For example, I was out with a girlfriend one night recently and a couple of guys started hitting on us. We brushed them off and kept walking. Now one of them may have thought that it was because he was short or ugly. But the real reason is that we are both married (both of us married to shorter guys as it so happens) 1
preraph Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 When you're out at clubs or just anywhere people are there to meet the opposite sex, there's always focus from both sides on the very best looking people and the others often get overlooked. People tend to shoot for the moon, I guess. How you overcome that is by putting yourself in repeated contact with women, either working closely or an activity or class where you will over time keep talking to them because of the circumstances. Then if you are a nice interesting person, someone will pick up on that and take an interest. Average people kind of blend into the background. They're not eye candy. But personality can give you an advantage if you have a good one.
Author Mjm1014 Posted February 10, 2016 Author Posted February 10, 2016 Thanks for all your response. This is the first time I've received all very constructive responses and opinions. Thanks for taking the time to do that everyone. I'm just going to focus on myself at this point, lay off the alcohol, work out hard, and find some new hobbies and just see what happens. I've been baffled if it's my height or looks but after really reflecting, I can't even remember the last time I even approached a female, so I guess that's my own fault. Lol :/
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