CTRL C Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 Okay, so first off, my ex and I separated in July. During the relationship I was the higher earner and so took the lion's share of our expenses, especially during the years he was in school and after I graduated. That means bills, groceries, date night, gas, housework, and vet bills. Not complaining, just fact. During our relationship, a year or so before ending, he wanted to buy a motorcycle. He could afford said motorcycle, but didn't have the credit for the loan. So, we agreed to take the loan in my name as long as my name was also on the title until paid back. He did not put my name on the title. He also stopped putting money towards the loan after the first six months. When we split there was about 3 grand of his debt in my name. Part was the bike, part on my credit card for a big repair on his truck. I'm not one for counting pennies in a relationship, but that's a large sum for something that I have never gotten to enjoy. Those two things he specifically said he'd pay back when he asked me to cover them, so it's not like I'm retaliating after the breakup (if I were, there's about $15k in improvements on his home I could add, but that was spent as plans for "our home" so I don't feel right going after that money). Additionally, we had a dog together. All vet records are in my name and have been paid by me, including rabies vaccines. He was supposed to pay the county taxes but never did. Currently, he gets the dog the majority of the time while I get occasional weekends. It's been 6 months of him promising to restart paying on that loan. I haven't been pushy about it but I have been making payments on this loan for the past 18 months, even after the breakup, without a bit from him. I'm aggravated. But I don't want to start drama because the first thing he'll do is try to take the dog from me... Though on paperwork I could probably get the dog for myself, I just hate to do that when I know he loves that dog as much as I do. I guess I'm just looking to vent today and maybe a little validation that yes I do have a right to be frustrated, I've been reasonable and am not a b**** for considering small claims court. Because I feel like that's what it's going to take and I know that's what he's going to call me if I do. Any advice on dealing with this is appreciated.
LydiaLong Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 Motorcycle It was a really bad mistake on your part to make sure that your name wasn't on the title. Does he have insurance on the bike? If he wrecks it without insurance, you will be liable for any damages caused. A small claims court would likely force him to transfer the title to you, and then you can repossess it. As for the other debits, I doubt that a small claims court would award you money you spent on him while you were sleeping together, unless you have documentation that he promised to pay it back. Is he working? If you were married, you would be able to split the assets and bills down the middle.
Author CTRL C Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 Motorcycle It was a really bad mistake on your part to make sure that your name wasn't on the title. Does he have insurance on the bike? If he wrecks it without insurance, you will be liable for any damages caused. A small claims court would likely force him to transfer the title to you, and then you can repossess it. As for the other debits, I doubt that a small claims court would award you money you spent on him while you were sleeping together, unless you have documentation that he promised to pay it back. Is he working? If you were married, you would be able to split the assets and bills down the middle. Yes it is insured last I was aware, in his name and title in his name. I realized the mistake in not making sure the title was in my name. It was a private party seller and he signed off on the paperwork in the man's house in the 2 minutes I wasn't right there. I had trusted him and we had that understanding about the title up to that very moment... I obviously shouldn't have let him carry the money. His reasoning was that insurance would be more expensive as I was under 25 at the time. Trust me, I was pissed at his move, but as long as he was doing what he promised... Not married, just a very long term relationship of many years. I do have texts, emails, documentation of his payments to my account that I transferred to the loan, and the itemized bill and receipt of payment for work on the truck titled to him that was paid for with my CC. He is employed with a decent job, he is just horrible at managing his finances. I just want the money he promised he'd pay back, not more. I'm not even going to worry about interest on the credit card. Trying to be as reasonable as possible but I can't help feeling used.
rester Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 It sounds like you are going above and beyond reasonable, which is why you may be feeling used. I would speak with an attorney for an hour to see what your options are. It might cost you US$150, but it would help you to understand what it would take legally to go after the rest of the money and/or the dog, if you end up needing to as a last resort. It's possible that if your ex knew about you seeing an attorney, he may feel you are more serious about going after the money and would rather pay it back than deal with any court situations. For me at least, understanding the legal aspects of this would help to make more clear decisions, and if things get even more out of control, you would have some legal representation set up.
Apparition Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 It's a silly mistake on your behalf to do that and I'm sure you've learned from your mistake. When you're in a relationship and in love with the person you're taking risks for, you trust them to pay you back. You trust them, period. Every time people break up, someone gets hurt, there is fights, nastiness, mean things are said in the heat of the moment and then regret kicks in. It's overall a horrible process, especially if money is involved. If I was you, I would probably take it to small claims court, though, because he does owe you. Do you have it in writing that he agreed to pay you back, at least? Because if not, they won't entertain you. All they care about is signatures, documented evidence etc. Unless he agrees that he was going to pay you back but refused to.
Author CTRL C Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 (edited) I might have to see a lawyer. Do you know what kind of lawyer to look for? I've no idea what they cost though - last time I did anything involving courts it was via arbitration with the Insurance Commission. $150/hr is average? As for documentation, I have records of checks and transfers he has written to me with "loan payment" noted on them. I have texts and emails of him promising to pay back the loan. I even kept a spreadsheet of payments and accrued interest for us to keep track of what he's paid. But I don't have a signed agreement, no, because I didn't think I'd need one with my "trusworthy bf" and my name on the title. What other documentation would be needed? Yeah, people get hurt in breakups, which is why I've been trying to keep things as amicable as possible. He apologized and promised to start paying back when we broke up... has promised several times since, but it's not happened yet. Even $50/month would keep me happy, and I've said that, but he'd rather make empty promises i suppose. Edited January 25, 2016 by CTRL C
Apparition Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 If you have texts and such where he admits he is paying you back and that he intended to do so, then I would try it out. Do you guys have a citizen advice bureau? They could help you out with a lawyer and tell you which one you exactly need. Prepare for it to get ugly, though. I would try talking to him one last time about it and if he doesn't budge use the court as a last resort , at least you would have given him enough chance to come clean and make things right.
Author CTRL C Posted January 26, 2016 Author Posted January 26, 2016 Thanks... I will have to check what is available in my state. I'm going to bring it up to him once more, give him the opportunity, because ugly is what I've been trying to avoid (for the sake of sharing the dog, mostly... I know if I do get insistent over the money that he will refuse to let me have my dog at all, then I'd have to go through court for him as well. Which, I'd win, but still don't want to do that if I don't have to).
mightycpa Posted January 26, 2016 Posted January 26, 2016 Thanks... I will have to check what is available in my state. I'm going to bring it up to him once more, give him the opportunity, because ugly is what I've been trying to avoid (for the sake of sharing the dog, mostly... I know if I do get insistent over the money that he will refuse to let me have my dog at all, then I'd have to go through court for him as well. Which, I'd win, but still don't want to do that if I don't have to).File in small claims court for the dog and for the bike, and also for one or two of the items of home improvement. Whatever it takes to run the small claim up to the limit. Yes, he might keep the dog away from you in the short run, but in the long run, the dog will be yours. The other thing I would do is hire an attorney to call up the ex, and explain to him what the lawsuits are going to be, and how they are going to turn out if he doesn't play ball. While you don't need to hire a lawyer to represent you in SCC, you definitely want one to strike fear into his heart. It is one thing for him to hear it from you, but it is quite another for him to have to deal with an attorney, mainly, because he'll be outclassed, and it will cost him money to fight you. The attorney can probably strike a deal where your ex will agree to sign a note and allow you to record the debt on the title of the bike, and do whatever UCC filing you need to do. Or maybe he can just pay you, you never know. In addition, maybe you can get a binding agreement about the dog, but why you'd want to know the ex for the next 10 years is beyond me. You'd be much better off using both the house stuff and the dog as a bargaining chip, and getting 100% of the dog in exchange for dropping the house stuff, and maybe a small discount on the loan, or just getting your own dog, one that will survive this boyfriend, the next one, and the one after him. In that vein, I wouldn't bring it up or even threaten him. Just do it, and early on the day he gets served, have the attorney give him a call and explain the facts of life to him. Shock will only help you. 1
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