2mehappiness Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 (edited) My ex-bf broke up with me last October. I was devastated but realized the relationship wasn't healthy for me. I was a co-dependent in the relationship and knew I needed to find and forge my own identity instead of relying on others for my own happiness. I spent the last few months reflecting and started a journey in finding myself. I decided to go back to school to pursue my 2nd degree, met new people, worked out, reconnected with old friends and family and everything is falling into place. I am probably the happiest that I have been in the last few years. After my breakup, I had several guys who were interested in going out with me, but I turned them down because I knew I wasn't ready to date and frankly I was not interested in them. I recently met someone through a mutual friend and we connected. He was the opposite of the guys I am usually attracted to. He is sweet and nice and would always text me to let me know his whereabouts if he doesnt reply back to me right away (something that I am not used to). He asked me out and I said yes. I was flattered and was excited to see him. But I find that my excitement decreased when it got closer to the date. I met him today and I was bored. The conversation wasnt as engaging as I thought and it made me really missed my ex. This guy is nice, but "boring." I kept telling myself that compatibility is just as important as chemistry, yet I couldnt help but kept comparing the two. My ex and I had great chemistry and I had always found him very attractive compared to this guy who is more average. I dont want to get back together with my ex. But this date made me really miss him. I guess it doesnt help that we met up at a restaurant that my ex took me to. My friends are encouraging me to go out on dates to remind myself that there are wonderful guys out there who is also single. But after this date, I feel like I am moving backward instead of moving forward:(. I feel kind of down, scared that I will be stuck in this "reminiscing about my ex" stage and I wont be able to stop comparing other people to him. Edited January 25, 2016 by 2mehappiness
Ami1uwant Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 In terms of the date being noting.... 1. He may have been nervous 2. You may have turned him off 3. You guys may have talked to much prior to first date..thus conversation was full If he was a nice guy..go out eith him a second time...this time do SN activity date where you do something or see something. As for this prior bf...you can't be comparing new guys to him because your go parison is just looking at his strengths...I'm sure your first meeting wasn't that dynamic as you remember. What were the weaknesses of your firmer bf?
Author 2mehappiness Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 In terms of the date being noting.... 1. He may have been nervous 2. You may have turned him off 3. You guys may have talked to much prior to first date..thus conversation was full If he was a nice guy..go out eith him a second time...this time do SN activity date where you do something or see something. As for this prior bf...you can't be comparing new guys to him because your go parison is just looking at his strengths...I'm sure your first meeting wasn't that dynamic as you remember. What were the weaknesses of your firmer bf? My ex was selfish and guarded. His needs always come first. I wanted a long-term committed relationship but he didnt share the same value as me. I went out with this guy because he is the opposite of him.
Ami1uwant Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 My ex was selfish and guarded. His needs always come first. I wanted a long-term committed relationship but he didnt share the same value as me. I went out with this guy because he is the opposite of him. You are looking at his negatives and grinding a reason...instead of looking at positives.
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