brokenheart_ihave Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Indeed! It's one of the strongest lessons! Good point though niceguy69, but I dont think, if you ever asked a girl (or most of them), they'd admit (to us or themselves) that they go for outgoing guys - I think they want guys with a position of authority. When you sit at home with no friends, then your the weak emotional one, and she will always feel like she's mothering you. As creepy as this sounds - girls tend to go for guys that remind them of their own dads (not conciously!!!) - most dads are in that position of authority, of taking care of their daughter, sorting things out for them, taking them out whenever they pull that puppy-eyed face, and paying for everything - and when you are friendless, a little depressed, generally weak, then she sees you as the total opposite and looses interest - she'll feel like the "big one" - whereas if you get into a position of authority in the relationship then you'll have the power, she wouldnt leave you (unless you mistreated her a lot) because you'd have the power. I know in my relationship, I wasnt in a position of power, I need to learn to take the lead, as it sounds like you do too! And if the person in power, feels like their in total power, then they'll probably loose their love and interest for their partner thats weak and defenseless. Hard lesson to learn, but I've learnt it.
miss-gonewest Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Brokenheart & Niceguy, I see where you are coming from... but.... I wouldn't discount a guy just because he had only a small circle of friends. In fact, it can be a bonus in that I don't have to compete for their time and attention. And when I am in a relationship with someone, I am more than happy to share them with my friends. I am outgoing, confident and certainly not a 'nice girl' but I don't have many friends, so who am I to judge my man for not having any? Being complacent is different to being a nice guy or someone with a small circle of friends. Being too lazy to go out with your girl when she wants to, is another story though...
Marshbear Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 go out, have some fun with friends, and look at other girls and maybe even try hitting on them. It really does help, and it made me realise I was being held back by my girlfriend before - not that she herself was holding me back, but that because I was with her, I was complacent to have her as my only friend - BIG mistake, even if you have a gf, get some friends - This is soooo true. The last thing you want to do in a realtionship is make them your world. You need friends besides your SO. Don't do the friends thing. This is just her way of feeling less guilty. She really doesn't want to be your friend. She just thinks it will be easier on you to say that, hurt you less. Bro, it would hurt you more. Do you really want to see her, hang out and have her talking about other guys to you? Get out and find some friends and women who see you as more than a friend. Peace...
chris1063 Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC PS: Grieving is natural. Losing someone you love to someone else like I did is almost harder than losing someone who loved you and died. At least you know they loved you. In my case, she left me for someone else. What a blow to my self-confidence and self-esteem. And I was too naive to notice she was drifting away.... Great post CIOC. Exactly the same thing happened to me. I carry the guilt and regret every day that I didn't see what was happening. Found out a couple days ago that my ex has gone on holiday with her new man today. Feeling crappy today because of that - it sucks !! I'll keep moving forward though - there's somebody out there for me somewhere I know - God willing. Chris
ConfusedInOC Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Originally posted by chris1063 Great post CIOC. Exactly the same thing happened to me. I carry the guilt and regret every day that I didn't see what was happening. Found out a couple days ago that my ex has gone on holiday with her new man today. Feeling crappy today because of that - it sucks !! I'll keep moving forward though - there's somebody out there for me somewhere I know - God willing. Chris Luke 11:11-13 11: If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if [he ask] a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? 12: Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13: If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall [your] heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
Jadey Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Grr i HATE that sicky feeling! Its been about 3 months now we split and i still get it sometimes, like when i remember good times we had, or think of him with his new GF..But it has died down abit now.Which proves time really is a healer.I think thats the only thing that can "cure" abroken heart. Good luck
ConfusedInOC Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Originally posted by Jadey Grr i HATE that sicky feeling! Its been about 3 months now we split and i still get it sometimes, like when i remember good times we had, or think of him with his new GF..But it has died down abit now.Which proves time really is a healer.I think thats the only thing that can "cure" abroken heart. Good luck Pretty much. It may never go away completely but when you meet someone who makes you feel even stronger about them, you will have recovered completely. There is hope.
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