Seekingadv Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 So we have gone out for almost 2 years. Gf is acting so wierd all week. First she keeps asking me if I'm happy. I guess I have been snapping at her a lot this week. I mostly get a little snappy because she gets all grumpy and quiet over work or whatever. I get snappy for good reasons though. For example, she tries telling me how or what to do sometimes, for example where to park the car in the street for no reason, after I have parked. It almost feels like a controlling thing? Yesterday, she kept staring at my eyes asling if im happy, and it seems like im different this week (i must say, i have been rrally happy this week as i have felt great about myself), which is very odd. She would stare at my eyes, almost as if she was trying to see love (which doesnt work btw lol) Today, again, she goes silent all of a sudden during breakfast. I ask her what's on her mind and she doesn't even answer. Then he went and laid down in the bed. Now I'm downstairs, giving her some space and writing this. Anyone go through this? It makes me worried I'll lose her. I must say though, I have treated her very well the entire 2 years. Any ideas what's going on? How I fix this?
katiegrl Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 My take is she is projecting. SHE isn't happy and therefore presumes you're not either. That is why she keeps asking..... Just my $.02.
Maggie4 Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 Ah! This one is easy. Because you've been snapping at her? 2
Author Seekingadv Posted January 24, 2016 Author Posted January 24, 2016 I thought that as well. I asked her back the same questions, and she said she was happy. Also, would only one week change things? By snapping, I mostly mean standing up for myself. Not really attacking her. How do I know how to fix this if she won't talk?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 You can't fix it if she won't talk. Is standing up for yourself something you don't usually do? You say you haven't been snappy, per se. But she's obviously noticing a change in your behaviour. But honestly, my first instinct echoes what another poster said, which is that she isn't happy and she's projecting. Something is clearly weighing on her mind. Have you noticed any other changes in her?
basil67 Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 I can't tell you what's up with her. But I can say that snapping at her when she's being bossy serves no purpose. You really need a more proactive way of dealing with it. For instance, instead of snapping when she tells you to move the car - have a discussion about the fact that she does it and that you find it unacceptable. Make it clear that you need this to stop. If she refuses to stop it, then you have two choices - either accept that she does it (without continuing to snap) or end the relationship. Same goes for the other things she does which annoy you. But enough with the snapping. 1
Maggie4 Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 I thought that as well. I asked her back the same questions, and she said she was happy. Also, would only one week change things? By snapping, I mostly mean standing up for myself. Not really attacking her. How do I know how to fix this if she won't talk? Reading your post, I get the sense you don't like her a lot at the moment. She is annoying you somehow, also, you feel you need to stand up for yourself. You feel controlled, you find faults in the things she says, even the way she looks at you rubs you the wrong way. You want to keep this gf, but first you should clear your head before talking to her. Otherwise the talk becomes bickering when all you do is pick on each other and accuse each other of acting weird, back and forth, and nothing is resolved.
Author Seekingadv Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 Reading your post, I get the sense you don't like her a lot at the moment. She is annoying you somehow, also, you feel you need to stand up for yourself. You feel controlled, you find faults in the things she says, even the way she looks at you rubs you the wrong way. You want to keep this gf, but first you should clear your head before talking to her. Otherwise the talk becomes bickering when all you do is pick on each other and accuse each other of acting weird, back and forth, and nothing is resolved. I'm going to take this advice. I must present my ideas in a calmer manner instead of snapping back at her. I can't stand when people try to control another, as I don't do that to her either. Someone has to lead, but that doesn't mean control. She is bad for shutting down and not talking, where as I am more of an open book type of person. This will take some work.
lilmissjava Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 This will take some work. No one ever said relationships were/are easy.
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